How do I become closer with my girlfriends children?

Question

I have been with my girlfriend for almost a 3 years now. She has 3 daughters that are not mine but I have watched them grow into beautiful young ladies but they are still very very young. We plan on getting married in the near future. Her children love me allot but sometimes I feel that I am not connected to them.I love them allot also and would do anything for them I can. One day we will be a family unit but I want to bond with them allot more before we get married. What are some activities I could do with them to improve our bond.

Answer 1

That connection you may never truely feel deep down cuz you have this barrior that you need to let go of .. you stated it in your question
They are not mine but i watched them grow and you love them!
No doubt you better love them it's part of the package! And time will not stop so they will grow your in there life!
but they are Your kids too NOW so let it go!
it's all in your head! soon as you beleive they are YOURS you'll feel that connection! not over night but you will!
That is where you need to start once you do that . the bonding part with activies will just fall into play!
Read to them
paint with them
show them the arts
do activitys as a group and do each one with one on one
keep loving them!
don't forget the displine!
Best wishes!
LET IT GO! THEY ARE YOURS TOO!

Answer 2

It sounds as though you are doing the right thing already. You don't say how involved their natural father is. If he is involved and you have a wonderful relationship with the girls already that is fantastic. Any positive influence you bring into their lives cannot be bad but remember it is different from being their father. If he is not involved so much, over time, they will start to think of you more as "dad". Don't force it just show an interest in their lives will show you care. Go to their sporting events, their concerts, talk to them, etc. Just be yourself (and you do sound like a wonderful person) and let things take their natural course.

Congratulations on your upcoming marriage!

Answer 3

I've been w my b/f for more than 4 yrs. I have 5 kids, he has 3. I've gotten close to his kids b/c I think of them "as my own". He has NEVER gotten close to any of my kids b/c he is always thinking "they're not MY kids". I do everything with his kids that I do with my own. He puts a barrier up b/w the two. My youngest two were only 7 months old & barely 2...no excuse not to have forged a bond with them. He chose NOT to. Same goes for you. It's what you chose to think of them...even when they are mean to you. Try as hard as you can to treat them the way you would if they came from you. PPL adopt kids every day...think of it as an adoption. Can't be their "friend" & their parent. You can be a "kind" parent though. Be interested in their lives. Ask them about pre/grade/high-school. Open ended questions are best. "What was your favorite part of today? & why?" Get to know them. What are their fav eats? & Remember days before conversations, bring them up...let's them know you were really listening & interested. When your out & about, pick up something for them that you would do for your own child. I pick up sale items I "just know they'll love" all the time. This shows them that I think about them even when they aren't here. I lay the outfit or poster or fav bag of chips on their beds. They LOVE me. Their dad is jealous sometimes but we enjoy knowing they really like me as their "step-mom". That's what they call me. And they get along with my kids so well...they call each other brothers/sisters. It's so nice/cute! Good luck!

Answer 4

I love my step dad he was there for me and did more for me than my biological father ever did.
My "Daddy" being my step dad he took the time to answer my questions and to take me places that could give me better perspectives on answers that he couldn't answer.I remember he took me to a museum once to help me understand better about Thomas Eddison because he didn't know the answers I was asking.And he wanted me to absorb the information not just by reading it but also by being able to visualize it.That was all for a test by the way and I was the only one who got an "A" and I always credited that "A" to him.
He also took us on vacations which is the "norm" for most families but wasn't for mine until he came into the picture.He went shopping with me and expressed opinions without being insulting.
ANd mainly he was there when I NEEDED him to be there.He kissed all my "owies" and wiped my tears when I cried he drove me around without complaint and took me to all the sleepovers I wanted to go to.He made a difference in my view of him by being a "Father" when I needed one and a "Friend" when I needed one and a "Teacher" when I needed one.He always knew what to be when I needed it and most times he was all 3 all at once...
I imagine the girls appreciate you and are getting to a point in their minds where you are a "father" or "daddy" to them.All girls at one point or another back away so that they can gain their own footing in the world.But it doesn't mean they still don't have a connection to you.Just stay involved and show them you're there for them no matter what and are willing to go the extra mile for them.Take them to places that stimulate them to think and play.

Hope That Helps,
M.G

Answer 5

You could take them to see a movie, & afterwards, get a bite to eat or go bowling, play putt putt/miniature golf. How about a trip to the zoo or take them to a park where they can play on the swings, etc. You could take them out for ice cream also. Maybe you could color or paint with them or play some games with them at home. (cards, Memory Game, etc.) Just remember, it's not how long you spend with the girls that they'll remember, but it's the fact that you did spend time with them. What a great way to bond with these prescious little girls. I applaud you & wish you the very best!

Answer 6

with the mother present tell the girls how you feel about them. Then ask them what kind of activities they like to do , like summer time by them passes to a water park-take a picnic lunch, christmas make things arts and crafts or ask them to help you shop for your fiance they would like that, Thanksgiving tell them or you show them how to cook a dish maybe a pecon pie, Share your interest with them make an activity out of it,, BE CAREFUL that when you spend time with the girls, you also pay a lot of attention to their mother. I am a mother of 4 kids three girls and one boy all pre-teen and teenagers My friend and i have a lot of fun with the kids. The girls will remember these times even after they are grown and married moved away. Good Luck
So, far you will make a good step-farther.

Answer 7

Do things together as a family, days out, cinema, mealtimes. Its the little things that count. Dont be afraid to tell them you love them. Help out at bedtime and read them stories if they are young enough still. Help with homework if they are older! And by the way, they are lucky to have you as their step-dad.

Answer 8

With you being a Guy? and them,being Daughters? it's gonna be tough. Get into asking what their Habits ans Hobbies are? Try to blend in with their likes and dislikes. a.k.a. Be their Friend. Once they see their Mother, all happy, all the time? They'll bring you in. have Faith!

Answer 9

Just contiue to be yourself with the children and the bond will grow. It is a natural progression that takes place and if you rush it, then it will not be as strong.

Answer 10

Just by what you are asking I can say that you don't need to do anything else. I can tell that you are a good man, just let the girls know that you are interested in what is going on in their lives and it will all come together.