I've been married two almost two year when we first met...he seemed like he disliked some people like most people do.... but yesterday he got fired for discrimination...saying stuff he shouldn't be saying lately hes been very spitful towards everyone from little kids, to people of different races to ......basically everyone but me....he says its how he grew up...that hes like that but...i know its not right...i dont even know what to think....Im in college and working full time but cant afford to hold us up for too long....i dont make enough....Is there anyhope for him finding a new job even though he has this on his record....?
2007-02-15 04:52:02 · 11 answers · asked by stacy o 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He can get a job probably fairly easy companies cannot disclose why you were fired, and if that is a problem don't use them a a reference..
2007-02-15 04:57:53 · answer #1 · answered by Mary O 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel very sorry for you and your child. It sounds to me your husband is a very nasty abusive coward! The reason why he's a coward is because no real man would hit a woman! My advice would be to leave him very soon. He can't stop you from leaving him and if he threatens you like that you should see the police and find somewhere else to stay without your husbands knowledge. You should do this if you fear for your life. You said your husband comes back sobbing and saying sorry so you let him in, new rules! From now on you don't let him in and make him sleep in the gutter! You also said you have no support or family or anyone but don't you have friends that can help you out? There is always help out there no matter what the problems are. You should also go and see social services for advice and you also need to talk to someone privately about what is happening so you will have an idea what you can legally do. I hope you will sort it all out and don't be put off men because not all of us are idiots. I think you need to divorce him to be honest once you've done that he can't do anything at all. As for him jumping out of the window let him do it! No one will miss him! Will you?
2016-05-24 03:49:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You married a man who has a lot of anger issues involving discrimination against people who are different from him. Being married to a person like this can be very stressful and cause you not only grief but embarrassment also. He seems to be emotionally immature. He has not grown and come to terms of all the wrong teachings he received from the way he grew up. First of all, know that you are not responsible for his bad behaviour. He only is responsible and he alone must get help for this. If he is not willing to get help then you need to make a decision, either live this way or not live this way. The decision is yours. Good luck to you!
2007-02-15 05:05:29 · answer #3 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, if the skin-heads have an opening in their organization....
Sorry, but if this is "the way he likes it" then he's not going to change, until he finds his own reason to...and losing one job because of his intolerance, might not be the reason he needs.
He might need to lose 5 or 10 jobs, family...friends (although they probably feel the same)....
You need to decide (now) if you're going to support him, both financially and emotionally....
Remember, people are going to learn that he thinks this way, and you're going to be guilty by association.
Also, there is a huge difference, I believe, between being a racist, or intollerant, and being an angry person.
In our small community (2600 people) we have a family of "skinheads" and the only way you know it is the way they dress and the way they wear their hair. I worked with the wife for years, and we've had many conversations about her beliefs. I myself am of mixed race, and she and I are great friends.
So just because someone has the beliefs, doesn't mean they have to be angry and shove it down your throat.....if your husband was a religious fanatic, and spewing the same thing at work, offending people, he would be discharged as well.
Food for thought.
2007-02-15 05:03:20 · answer #4 · answered by salemgirl1972 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like he has some messed up morals..He can get another job..legally the employer (if called for a reference) cant disclose why he was fired they can only confirm that he worked there and say whether or not they would hire him back..but to be on the safe side i wouldn't use his last job as a reference for a new job..maybe he needs some counseling or something...people seem to justify the reasons why they are the way they are.... (like..."i was raised that way")but that not true..everyone has morals and they know what is right and what is wrong...he just chooses to be the way he is...like i said its messed up thinking...no offense cause i know you love your husband..but its wrong and he knows it..
2007-02-15 05:04:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I married an angry man too and I can tell you he won't change unless and until he wants to. If it's all he's known and he likes it that way, he will always be a jerk. My husband stayed angry his whole life; preferred to be alone and often said, "I don't have friends; I have acquaintances." He alienated everyone around with his nasty disposition. When he died, I thought how sad it was that he chose to live that way. I know from experience how hard it is to live with an angry person. You need to decide what is best for you because the road can get awfully bumpy!
2007-02-15 06:15:22 · answer #6 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He says that's how he grew up? Sounds like he hasn't done that yet. If you husband is an adult, he needs to censor his mouth. As adults, we learn what we can say and when we can say it. He's acting like a 4 y.o. by saying what ever pops into his mind.
I doubt he'll be able to keep many jobs if he continues to behave this way. Perhaps he can find a job where he doesn't have contact with the public or doesn't have to work closely with co-workers.
2007-02-15 04:58:42 · answer #7 · answered by katydid 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's time you started putting restrictions and insist on him doing things differently.
Make him attend counseling. He does have a bad problem. He will again work, but he needs mental help with alot of issues.
2007-02-15 05:03:24 · answer #8 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you need to get rid of this hateful man he wants to control people and bully
2007-02-18 10:13:27 · answer #9 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you picked a real winner
2007-02-15 04:58:12 · answer #10 · answered by Master Richard 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋