Help, am I mean? I've been ttc for 3 months (THIS TIME). With my previous husband, I tried for over a year.

Question

When I was naked and scared and waiting for a fertility test, my ex called and told me on the phone that he was leaving me. So I still had the test and everything came back normal. But I stopped trying for about a year.
My new husband has two kids, his ex trapped him into marriage by "accidentally" getting pregnant with her second, his first. Then when he was leaving her, she asked for a second chance and "oops" became pregnant again. Both times she claimed she was on the pill.
Now my new husband and I have been trying for three months. I'm 30 and I keep seeing people who haven't been trying for very long, or people who DON'T EVEN WANT KIDS getting pregnant. It seems like everywhere I go, I see pregnant people. I'm getting to the point where I get ANGRY at people who get pregnant "easily" or "their first month trying".
What is WRONG with me? Am I that mean? I feel so frustrated that I could just cry.

Answer 1

First, your ex sounds like a real jerk. Sorry, but he does. Thank goodness you didn't have a kid with him.

Keep your chin up and keep trying. ENJOY the trying. That's the best part. (I've been ttc for a while now too).

Also, it wouldn't hurt to go see your OBGYN. If she can talk to you and explain the tests run before, she knows what direction to head in order to get you where you want to be.

You don't sound mean, just jealous. You might want to talk to a counselor, and not some of the people on Yahoo Answers. :)
In the mean time, try not to be too frustrated.
Best of luck and baby dust!

Answer 2

It is frustrating to want a baby so badly and see others get pregnant so easily, even getting pregnant by accident. It hurts. It's NORMAL to be angry and sad about it.

That being said, so many women don't realize that it's also NORMAL to try for year and not conceive. Many couples do not, for various reasons. It DOES NOT mean you are infertile. Most couples who do not conceive w/in the first year go on to conceive naturally in the second. It is really, really frustrating to wait, I know.

I have 2 children now. The women in my family always bragged about being so fertile. They told me I'd have to be extra careful when I got married or I'd get pregnant on my honeymoon like everyone else. If I'd only known. I did not,in fact, get pregnant on my honeymoon. We avoided pregnancy w/ NFP for several months after we married.

Once we started trying, especially b/c we were charting and I knew when I was fertile, I thought we'd get pregnant right away. I was so upset when it didn't happen right away and got more upset as the months passed. All around me, women were conceiving w/o even trying it seemed. It took 8 months...not long compared to some women's journies, I know, but long enough to give me a lot of grief.

The second time around, it took 14 months. Once I'd passed the 8 month mark, I started to get really nervous. After 12 months, I began to wonder if we'd ever conceive again. I put myelf through emotional hell.

Each time, I finally figured out something that was "wrong" w/ my cycles which made it more difficult to conceive. B/c of the charting I could solve those problems myself and time intercourse. Though it took longer than expected (maybe b/c I was so busy panicking that I wasn't really looking at my charts objectively), I can't imagine how long it would have taken w/o charting. My cycles are very NON standard. And I can imagine that fertility treatments would have messed me up further. I'm so glad for the charts!

Though it's really hard to do sometimes, be patient w/ your body. We cannot command our reproductive systems to funtion though we'd like that. Even a woman who is "normal" and has textbook cycles may not conceive right away or after many months. All the stress of worrying each month does nothing to speed the process.

Take time to nourish yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually. If you can see this as a time of preparation, rather than stressing about the negative HPT every month, it will be so much better for your being and might even speed the process.

If you are not already doing so, I recommend charting your fertility signs. The information you gain will be invaluable.

Some good sources: Fertilityfriend.com (free software as well as a pay-for version and on-line charting turorial); ovusoft.com (discussion boards for many fertility related issues, much info on fertility after the pill, and a very good software for purchase). The books Taking Charge of Your Fertility (associated w/ the the ovusoft website and software) and Garden of Fertility.

Answer 3

Slow down sugar...Your experiencing what all of us have gone through. TTC takes a major toll on a woman physically and emotionally. Try find an infertility doctor, there maybe something simple that is causing the hang up or you just need a little more help. I hope this comforts you in some way, because I truly feel your pain, anger, frustration and hatred for all of those who have no problems getting pregnant.

P.S. Go ahead and cry it's okay to do that once in awhile once your done you pick up that phone and start calling doctors!

Answer 4

I'm sorry your having such a difficult time. i wish there was something i could do for ppl in your situation. I'm one of the ppl you probably can't stand. i had a good friend that was a wonderful person and was awesome with kids, she had the same problem and i felt horrible because she really deserved to have a child. just as it's not your fault your having difficulty, it's not ours we don't. i wish i knew why so many ppl who don't deserve to have kids can and why ppl who deserve to, can't. your not mean though, that's a natural reaction. you haven't been trying too long this time, so don't get frustrated. stress will only make matters worse. good luck to you and i hope everything works out.

Answer 5

My husband and that i attempted for an entire 2 and a a million/2 years in the previous we conceived. We observed each form of medical doctors, herbalists, chiropractors and the winner grew to become into the acupuncturist. all the medical remedies failed for us. Durring TTC it is extremely discouraging to no longer be pregnant month after month yet once you ultimately see that + you're attentive to it grew to become into all well worth it. i'm any such believer now in "once you ultimately provide up it is going to ensue" form of ideas. you attempt SOOOO perplexing and then each and all of the unexpected you're completed "attempting" and ascertain, properly perchance existence is high-quality as that's, then hi, a superb being pregnant try. save your distance from the medical medical doctors via fact in my journey, they p.c. to place you on Clomid amazing away and it turns you into something evil! LOL. do a sprint prognosis. stop attempting, love your husband. attempt Acupuncture. it is going to all paintings out.

Answer 6

You are totally normal. TTC is really hard and no one really understands how painful it is to want a baby and not have one. I constantly say mean things to preggos in my mind because I am totally hurt and it is a way to protect myself. Try to find someone to talk to who also had a hard time concieving. They will understand when you talk about people who don't deserve babies getting pregnant. It is a really hard time and don't let anyone make you feel bad for how you deal with it. Best of luck!

Answer 7

I think you are confusing frustrated and jealous with being mean. I also think you might be a little too wound up about this and even a bit depressed about it.

If I were in your shoes, I would go to my doctor (gyno) and tell them how you feel. They may put you on something to calm you down a bit and refer you to a fertility specialist who can help you improve the odds of your conceiving.

Good luck

Answer 8

Check in with this message board - they have lots of support and lots of answers.

http://forums.delphiforums.com/conceive/messages