I am so confused yet so sad. I have been dating my now boyfriend for about 5 months and the first 3 months were out of this world. Honestly, we got along as the best of friend, we laughed together and he was there any time I needed him for a shoulder to cry on. I am completely and utterly attracted to the guy. He is honest, sincere, loyal, TRUSTWORTHY, HOT, has a beautiful house, and I KNOW he would be a Wonderful father. If I had the choice of any father for my "imaginary" children it would 150% be him. He is completely real. Although 6 months before we started dating I dated a complete jerk for a year. He was abusive, he was a cop until he got caught for abusing me, all in all short story he ended up getting fired and he is no longer a cop, got caught for DUI, is 35 and cannot keep a girlfriend cause he is a player. Although, he was able to steal my heart my sweet talking me and I ended up very hurt when we broke up - I think he still owns a piece of my heart although I hate him at the same time.
So that being said, this relationship I am in is my 1st non dramatic relationship and I feel as though something is missing. I hate saying what I dont like about him cause it makes me sound ridiculous but I feel like his niceness is too much sometimes, I analyze everything he does. My ex could dress up in a pink tu-tu with one of my bra's and I would have just laughed but honestly if my new beau were to do that I think I would judge him based on it. I still enjoy spending time with him, I enjoy having sex with him and I enjoy relaxing with him but for some reason I dont feel like I love him like I am supposed to. I sometimes get frustrated with how much he kisses me or is all over me but I think I can over it. What I am asking is why is this happening. During the 1st 3 months things became very serious. We moved in together and I was 150% sure I wanted to start my life with him, now I question myself and I dont know why. Is my gut trying to tell me something or am I just not used to having a normal/healthy relationship. If there is anything in this world that I want to work it would be this relationship. I know I could have an incredible life with him. But I feel stressed cause I dont know if this is what love is supposed to feel like?!?!?!
Or could it be because for the past 5 months we have spent EVERY night together. Honestly every night?!?!?! Is there any way we can make this work and KNOW that I am IN LOVE with him?!?!?
2007-02-15 04:01:23 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
cop or not, he was abusive...helllooooooo ??? Do you want to be in the obituary section or in the other one's house w/beatiful kids, beautiful life?? I don't think the question is really that tough....
2007-02-15 04:27:35 · answer #1 · answered by momof3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I could have posted this myself not too long ago. You said this is the first non-dramatic relationship you have had, and that seems to be a big factor (look how much space you used to talk about your ex. He is obviously still very much on your mind and affecting your decisions.) It's frustrating and makes you feel almost ungrateful for how good your current guy is to you, at least it does if you're anything like me. But it sounds like the damage your ex did is continuing to sabotage your current relationship. I won't tell you what I did because I think you have to decide for yourself based on your circumstances and feelings. The one thing I can say is that you should talk to your guy about it. It's easy to go a little crazy when you see each other than often. There's nothing wrong with saying you need more personal time, and it doesn't have to be 'do or die'. I would suggest you talk to him about just taking a slight step back to give each other room to breathe, and then make your decision. But be honest with yourself and with him about how you feel. If it's right, it just is, and if it's not, it just isn't, and it doesn't mean that anyone is at fault.
2007-02-15 12:18:08 · answer #2 · answered by francesfarmer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, love isn't perfect by any means. Love with someone is when you can't imagine yourself without that person. It feels natural and you aren't trying to put on any heirs. sounds like you have some healing that wasn't done prior to getting into this relationship from your previous relationship. The ex cop is a loser don't think about him ever again. This new guy sounds like a dream come true. Open your eyes and wake up. He's for real!!!
Good Luck to you, HE'S A KEEPER!
2007-02-15 12:13:44 · answer #3 · answered by momma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you started a new relationship WAY to soon. But some times when you share respect and each care and nurture each other that last longer. The romance of new love always fades into something else, never stay if it hurts.
2007-02-15 12:26:07 · answer #4 · answered by lg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the same thing happened to me, but thank god I got over it and now I'm about to get married to my sweet fiance.
deep down you still think that your ex is better than this one, because you loved your ex and spent a long time with him. so just keep telling yourself that your ex is much worse than this one and it would be really stupid if you leave him, and no one will ever treat you the way your current b/f does. believe me, just give it some time and you'll get over these thoughts.
2007-02-15 12:18:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, take my advice here: yes, this is real.
Under no circumstances should you ever even THINK of ending this with him.
Bye!
2007-02-15 12:05:50 · answer #6 · answered by Pirahã 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are mature enough to fathom spending the REST OF YOUR LIFE with this lowlife - you are probably in love.
2007-02-15 12:08:19 · answer #7 · answered by joedude471 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋