Guide me please soon. Its really very urgent.?

Question

My husband is handsome and I am not good looking but more educated than him and earn also more than him. He is proud about his looks and feels, many girls still fall for him at the age of 40, since he looks much younger than his age and is good looking. He keeps peeping into our opposite neighbour's window for their daughter in law who is even elder to him but much good looking than me. Four days ago he again did the same and when I warned him, he just stopped talking to me and is not talking to me since last 4 days. Now, could someone guide me how I should handle this situation. I tried many times to talk to him but no response at all. He just denies about his peeping there. Was I wrong in anyway by warning him not to peep there, please guide me seriously and no jokes and fake answers please. Pray to God that things just get normal between us soon, because I feel guilty when he does not talk to me and it hurts me a lot when he ignores me.

My neighbour is a flirt as well, she flirts with her nephew in law and peeps in our window also for my husband. My husband wishes for a beautiful wife.He often says that to me. Even on Sundays when he is free he goes out with his friends, but never thinks of taking us for an outing. We have two kids, a boy 10 and a girl 7. How shall I make him love me truly.

Before this also he has stopped talking to me quite many times and always I had to nearly beg him to talk to me, but this time I just dont want to beg for anything as he has made it a habit, In the first year of our marriage he did not talk to me for nearly 12 days that is even before my first kid was born. I just want him to stop all this nonsense so I have decided not to beg him to talk to me. Although when necessary I am talking to him with no response from his end.Am I doing right?

Answer 1

Well, I think you done the right thing to confront him. Doesn't he realize he is hurting you? Does he want his cake and eat it to? You apparently love him very much.
I once loved someone in the same way and He ended up seeing other women. We went to church and the pastor and other ministers tried to help him. He has to want to get help if he wants your marriage to work. Then he has to work at it.
You shouldn't feel less than him. How do you think he would do without your earnings. Where does he get the funds from to dress, etc., to look better than you anyway? Why should you feel guilty about his actions when he doesn't talk to you. You are telling the truth and he doesn't have an answer to give you. Ask him what would it take for him to look at you the same way. Maybe you should go out and purchase some things that would get his attention.

Answer 2

I can feel the frustration you have, it’s difficult for you to make your husband understand how you feel about the same, but it is not impossible. As you can't leave him because either you love him or because of your kids or any other reason.. Then try the following- Never ever show that you earn more then him or you are more educated than him. He feels bad about it and will come back on you with the problem u mentioned. Start appreciating him for little things he does, let him feel he is very important for you and you r kids have some small stuff to be taken care for him, for family and appreciate a lot, this will improve his belongingness towards family. Involve him in all the decision and let him feel without him, you are nothing. This all will satisfy his ego, and he will not try to compensate it by other things. Also try to have good formal (only) relation with neighbors, and also appreciate her for her cooperation and being a good neighbors, so they will start feeling there responsibility, and also do lot of prayer from god to give you patience and maturity to your husband. Man wants respect and women need love & affection, you give the respect and you will get what you want, and last but not the lease--lots of great work done was just because of keep on trying even if there was a no hope at all. I will pray for you. Thanks

Answer 3

Well as per me
you should be doing the same thing see you have a better education so ask him some question that he doesn't know answers and tell him i really wish i have a much educated husband and take the kids outside by yourself don't ask him or just completely ignore him when you guys walk on the street look at some handsome man and tell him he looks educated and he is handsome too you know stuff like that.

Bye hope everything work out
good luck for your marriage

Answer 4

Flip this into a positive for yourself. Tell him that peeking at people is flattering to some people but you were concerned that someone would report him for doing it and you were just trying to protect him. Tell him that you know he is not dead he is alive and there will always be women a man will look at, tell him you think its cute he does this but do it in a different way so he can't get in trouble for it. Tell him you are also alive and it doesn't keep you from taking a peek at a man walking down the street and laugh about it. Making conversations with a bit of humour will make the conversation easier. And don't forget, he married you, so there must be so many things he loves about you. Tell him that its only human to want to take a peek at someone and you do it too, it will go a long way to show some understanding. When a man is 40 he gets insecure about how he looks to others, tell him you love your very handsom man and you just want to be able to talk to him more because it makes you feel really good inside. It will all work out, its all in the way you handle the situations, just telll him how much he means to you and how much you love him and think he is cute. take care Heather

Answer 5

Well, let me put it this way. After 12 years of marriage with you, your husband finds sex with the same person a little monotnous, and he is only indulging in a little fantasy. He is only eyeing the young lady. He hasn't actually made a move towards her, and I doubt if he is brave enough to do it. If she makes a move, I'm sure he'll run away from her. He may smile, etc., but that would be about it.

You might need to be a little more daring and inventive in bed.You might want to consult a sex book or see some videos etc., which will put more fire in your sex lives. You might have to take the initiative to get him aroused.

But by large, I would say: Don't fret about your husband. From what you say he seems to be a wimp. The more you plead with him, the worse he'll behave. Thats the way wimps are.

Answer 6

First of all you degraded yourself TO MUCH in this whole situation. There is nothing wrong with you speaking up to your husband because you felt disrespected. You need to learn to respect yourself because it sounds like you have low self-esteem. You sound like a bright beautiful person, so you should act that way. Not telling you to play games with your husdband but, play him at his own game. Don't talk to him, walk around and act as you don't cxare about him not speaking to you about something he did wrong. What he's using on you is called reverse psychology. He was wrong for even attempting to look at another woman with lust in his heart. It's not about who makes the most money and has all the brains all the time. Sweetie I've been where you are until you love yourself, without your husband looking at another lady, you will feel the way you feel. You need to hold your head up, and lift your chin. You are a woman that has brains and makes good money, you don't need no low-life to come home to too make you feel as you are a worthless woman. You are somebody and should be treated that way. Be Blessed!

Answer 7

I'm sure he knows what he is doing. He's probably given you the silent, pouting treatment before, and it probably worked. I'm sure you give in and apologize for something you didn't do. This time is no different. What you need to do is go out and buy you a new outfit, get your nails done, buy some lingerie or something like that. It will make you feel better, cause girl, you need more self esteem. As far as he goes, act like nothing is happening. Go about your daily routine. Enjoy the silence and he'll soon tire of playing his little game. Good luck

Answer 8

To be ignored is the hardest thing for a human being to handle. Babies will even die under those circumstances, and it is one of the worst forms of abuse. Do you think your husband might be insensitive to you? Why are "looks" so important?
That's a very superficial way to define anyone, and it says they don't have much else to offer. You, on the other hand, seem to be a very caring, feeling, sensitive person, and his behavior must be tormenting you. Are there other things about him that attract you to him? If he's looking out a window at another woman, he obviously isn't being fair to you, and he isn't being true to his vow of fidelity. There are many ways to be unfaithful, and he is displaying one of them. How many other ways has he violated his vow of fidelity?
You need to sit him down, and don't worry if he isn't talking to you. You are talking to him. Tell him that you love him very much, and you would like to work things out with him. Let him know that your self esteem is being hurt, and you are NOT willing to give that up under any conditions. Let him know that you will not remain in a relationship where you are constantly worrying about him because you have no foundation on which to build a relationship. It takes two, and if he isn't willing to carry his part by making you number one in his life, you will not be able to go on with him. Tell him to make up his mind, and give him a time limit to let you know. That way he can go off and think about the whole situation.
The last and most difficult thing to go in a relationship are the hopes and dreams of what might have been, and if your husband doesn't respond in a loving acceptable manner, you need to start replacing in your mind the plans you had with him with the plans of a future without him. That will help give you the strength to walk away.
I know this is a very difficult situation for you and painful too. I've been there, and if you would like to talk with me, please feel free to e-mail me. I don't have all the answers, but I am a good listener. I send lots of love and light your way, good luck, and remember, "To thine own self be true"

Answer 9

Your husband is a voyeur. What he is doing is illegal and you have every right to insist he stop. He sounds like an immature little boy. So he's not talking to you because you busted him? So what if your husband is good looking? Think of what that will get him when he goes to jail for being a peeping Tom. Lots of boyfriends?

Answer 10

You obviously have some issues with your self esteem. And your husband seems to be taking advantage of those issues to control you. You were right to tell him not to peep. It is not only cruel to you, but an invasion of someone else's privacy and illegal. You and (maybe separately) your husband need counseling. Obviously he married you for a reason, and I hope that reason is that he loves you, but if he can't show you or your marriage the respect you deserve, then maybe he is not worth your time.