Friendship, love, & passion?

Question

I'm engaged to a girl that I've know for over 2 years. A good portion of that time we were friends. We traveled and spent huge amounts of time together. We got engaged 3 days ago, and prior to that dating seriously for 3 months. We are getting married next year. Both of us have had some challenges shifting from friendship to lovers. When I say challenges, I mean the lack of passion. Lots and lots of affection and desire to be with each other though. She told me that it's going to take time for her to stop seeing me as a friend and for her to start seeing me as a lover. She's sure that will change in time. The love is there, but a part of her is still in friendship mode. I had small challenges in that area too but, I'm over it. I see progress in the area of passion in our relationship everyday. Is it worth the wait? Does it make sense to have a relationship that doesn't start of super passionate from the start and has to evolve? Has anyone ever been through sometime like this?

Answer 1

You will be great friends in marriage, but will probably encounter intimacy problems in the future. You have to decide if passion or friendship is more valuable to you.

Answer 2

Intimate relationships start out usually w/a bang then they slowly climb like milk filling a glass . Its never clear as to why its so thick but it is.Its not thin & it has consistancy.Friendship is always best 1st.,but sometimes you know deep down what the two friends have is more than special. It is unique & filling 4 both partys. The passion is there but so is the fear because you know its special & you don't want to ruin it.The passion does evolve w/ intent & if you nourish that it intensifies beyond what you ever expected. Both partys have to want it though & its scary.How can something so special be so vunerable? Its worth waiting for . Sometimes ...most times the two people experience,the depth at different times as the relasionship grows. Its very important 2 be honest w/ each other so u understand whats happening. It can boggle up your mind..........At that point patience takes over & if you understand each other you'll have no greater love than the love that grew between each other.................the love you have for each other.....................

Answer 3

nicely, probability is you gained't have love in case you do not have friendship. And, you won't be able to strengthen pastime with out the different 2. And sex ought to come once you've advanced a relationship. So, Friendship, love, pastime, sex. And Friendship being the biggest one. it is the single which has to very last more than some thing to keep up the relationship too.

Answer 4

I wouldn't get married until you guys work it out though. Marriage just makes things more complicated - if you have issues before marriage - you will have those same issues (and more) after marriage.

On the other hand - Love is an ever growing and changing thing. Commitment is not. Passion is relative and comes and goes in a relationship. If you are not happy with it than you have to try to change it.

Answer 5

Don't be sad because 2 out of 3 ain't bad. So as not to break any laws that is from a Meat Loaf song but is applicable to your case. I've had the same thing and the desire to stay together is the most important issue. Intense passion is fleeting anyway.

Answer 6

The friendship is solid, passion can be brought into a relationship, with that loving affectionate side that comes with the friendship. I suggest that you keep taking baby steps (no, I am not saying to get her pregnant!) towards eachother in this area and before you know it you will be engulfed in flames of passion. You might consider getting a book called "101 nights of Grrreat sex" it is pretty tasteful, adventurous and might be a lot of fun for you two.

Answer 7

friendship is a very good foundation for marriage, so defintely it will be worth the wait. you'll find out in the long run that your friendship will be your lifesaver in some situations you may encounter.
there is a thin line between love & passion. when you love someone, we normally assume that passion should follow; however, some people get shy around the person she loves especially if they started out as friends. don't worry, just give her time to adjust to your new relationship.

Answer 8

Having a great friendship is one of the most important components to a successful relationship. It's worth the wait. My husband and I were friends first. It developed slowly but he's my best friend, lover and husband now. Keep it the friendship alive and continue to have fun together. If she doesn't get to where you are, you'll know you gave it your best shot.

Answer 9

I never felt overwhelming lusty passion for my love either, a deep connection and yes, I am attracted to him just not in a 'let's do it now in the airplane bathroom' sort of way. We have been very happily married now for 10years. Just go with how you feel inside, trust your gut, if something feels wrong then it probably is. If it all feels right then stop worrying.

Answer 10

Here's a suggestion: Try and make her jealous! Next time you're at a party or a bar, chit chat with another woman. See how she responds. If she acts as if it's no big deal and has absoltely no problem with it, then you guys are simply friends with benefits! If she gets irritated, upset, or shows ANY sign of being bothered by you giving attention to another woman, then maybe her transition from friendship mode to girlfriend mode is one step closer to be being complete! Sounds crazy, but at least you'll know!