We met 5years ago at work....neither of us expected to fall in love.... we are both married... we are both still in our marriges......We did not talk for several years after I changed jobs...we are communicating again . I love him deeply.......I try to move on ....
.My husband and i argue and fight alot...He has anger issues that keep us emotionally distant..I have 3 children , so i am staying for them. Ken..not his real name....and i Talk on occasion, and talk about getting together....He says he is afraid if he starts seeing me again he will want to be with me all the time...t ...we made plans a few times ..but he did not show up...said he had to work....Why can i not get over him?
2007-02-15 02:35:29 · 19 answers · asked by janetw 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to work on your marriage and not worry about this other guy. Stop all communication with him unless you plan on hiring a divorce lawyer TODAY. You chose to marry so either commit to working out your problems or get a divorce. Be fair to everyone involved. Do not cheat, physically or emotionally!
2007-02-15 02:40:42 · answer #1 · answered by Back in the game... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't get over him because your clinging on to a fantasy. Clearly it is better to imagine your life with "Ken" then to deal with the actual life you are in. Harsh words but do you really think you are doing yourself or your children any favors by staying in a relationship that is not healthy - IN fact your modeling that behavior for your children.
Maybe stop dreaming (avoiding) your real life and try to get the life you have healthy. If yoru husband has anger issues than get some help (therapy for you, him or both) Talk to your husband - WHy live in fear or pain. In the end it will be better to live without your husband (or Ken) than to live in an unhealthy relationship.
Get your body and your mind healthy. Mayube call a therapist today!
2007-02-15 10:42:29 · answer #2 · answered by Bob 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are very unhappy in your marriage...you are very vulnerable and want some love and romance in your life..who doesn't? But this married man is not the answer. He has shown his intentions by not showing up for your meetings. I am sure that he has no intentions of leaving his wife and family for you, and is just playing with you. If your marriage is truly over..and pls try to get your husband into marriage counselling before deciding..I would suggest a legal separation. Staying together is not good for you or your children. I am sure they sense the unhappiness and tension in the house. Pls get some help...life is too short to be this miserable...good luck!
2007-02-15 10:52:39 · answer #3 · answered by HENRY M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its the edrinalline rush he is not into you hes in it for the rush also honey screw him you have kids and a husband why did this relationship cross your mind trueluy and honestly i know your husband luvs you or elese you would of gotten a divorce already
anyway honey tonight go to your husband and plan something special and please dont what ever you do dont argue infront of those kids they need you more than you think try to make your husband happy then he wont have anything to complain about
rember you cant build a fire in the ashes of love and roses dont bloom in the snow .the guy just thinks of this as innocent flirting and honey there is no such thing . help your husband with his issues dont run . and can i suggest going to church , that would be best for you and the kids because you are the mommy now and you have responsibilitys to take care of and every relationship has their flaws but things will get better i promise if you listen to me
2007-02-15 10:50:04 · answer #4 · answered by Whitney D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel your feelings are not being met in your marriage which has led you to feel unfulfilled and lonely. This other man temporally filled up this void in your life. You must come to see that what you are feeling with this other man is not based on healthy emotions but from emotions of wanting him to rescue you from your unhappy marriage. The guy is married and sounds as if he is not gonna leave his wife to be in a relationship with you. You are making more of what you and him had as a way to escape facing problems in your marriage. If you are unhappy and feel there is no chance to work on your marriage, then you must start to think about important decisions you will have to make. Make some positive changes towards what you feel will benefit the quality of your life. If not, you will continue to linger on taking crumbs and therefore being vulnerable to any man that shows any interest in you. Take charge of your life and stop sitting at home just thinking of a man that holds no promise of any kind of future with you. Best of luck to you!
2007-02-15 12:04:54 · answer #5 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because you have a romantic, unrealistic picture of him since you don't have him. Part of the problem with your husband could lie in the fact that you love someone else (or the idea of him). If this other guy really wanted to leave his wife, he would have met with you. You need to refocus your love on your family and try to work out things with your husband.
2007-02-15 10:56:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband has anger issues. And you have feelings for another man. Go figure. What is wrong with your husband. Doesn't he know that you want your cake and eat it to. And your EXCUSE that you are staying for the kids is so LAME. You are playing a very dangerous game. Be very careful.
2007-02-15 11:02:39 · answer #7 · answered by Monty L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you start up with another man you must start divorce proceedings with the jerk you are married to. You are not going to find happness running around with a married man either. You have a lot of loose ends to tie up before you can truely know what you want. Start with getting a lawyer. Good luck.
2007-02-15 10:54:46 · answer #8 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
somethings are ment to be. you should not be doing your husband this way. explain to him that he is not the one for you and that you are wanting to move on to bigger and better things. remember though that if the other man don't come through again that you stand alone. just as you deserve to for cheating on him. no wonder you fight all the time. deep in your heart you want someone else so you guys fight over things that you should really be confessing to and not covering up.
2007-02-15 10:53:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I THINK THE ONLY REASON YOU CAN'T GET OVER HIM IS BECAUSE YOU NEVER HAD ENOUGH TIME TO SPEND WITH HIM TO ACTUALLY START TO HATE HIM. IF YOU ACTUALLY SPENT MORE TIME WITH HIM (I.E. YOU WERE BOTH SINGLE) YOU WOULD EVENTUALLY SAY THE SAME THING ABOUT HIM THAT YOU DID YOUR HUSBAND. IT'S JUST NATURAL.
IF HE DIDN'T SHOW AND THEN SAID HE HAD TO WORK, HOW DID HE NOT KNOW HE HAD TO WORK? ISN'T THAT USUALLY A SET SCHEDULE? LET HIM GO. FIND ANOTHER GUY TO FOOL AROUND WITH.
2007-02-15 13:22:48 · answer #10 · answered by sweetbabykitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋