Can two people divorce and really still be friends?

Question

Been having problems for a few years. I am fed up, but still love the man. I want out

Answer 1

You have to be honest with him and tell him you want out. He just might want the same thing and is not telling you. You have to keep the feelings aside and be mature about it all.

Answer 2

It depends on how amicable the divorce is. Have you BOTH given the relationship your all? Have you tried counseling with a family-oriented counselor? Do you both want out? If not, there will be hard feelings that may take years to get over/forget. And think about how you will each feel if/when the other moves on and meets someone who makes them truly happy. How will that sit, knowing that it could have been you with just a bit of effort?
There are couples that have become better friends after they split. Some are even great friends with their ex's new love interest. These cases are a bit rare, though. Not all divorces end up like what you see on T.V. (Cybil, Reba, etc.). And consider how it will affect each of you financially - once everything is split up and you are each covering you own bills/paying rent on your own, etc. - that can cause resentment on both sides, too. There will be ramifications that may last years that will affect you.
Divorce is considered too lightly these days. Is it because you feel you don't see eye to eye, don't have as much in common as you would like, he doesn't put his dirty socks in the hamper, clean up the sink after shaving, or put the seat down? Unless there is substance or physical abuse, cheating, or something equally as serious going on, divorce should only be a last resort. All relationships and marriages go through highs and lows. Some lows will last for years! You might be surprised at what a difference a little tune-up in communicating can make. You admit that you still love him - there has to be some sort of foundation to build on there. Get out your tool belt, hire a contractor, do whatever it takes (within reason, lol)!!!!!

Answer 3

I can abswer yes to this question. I have been divorced for 5 yrs and this divorced invovles a 5 yr old son. Exes with children are likely the ones that continue to be friends. not all but the majority of them do stay as friends. i had a little issue still with mine ecx but we still have to show some type of compassion for the child's sake. that is only natural. Now, if exs never had kids together then I do believe they end up seeing each other evry once in a while. I wouldn't agree to that friend thing if you divorce! There are limits a new couple should make if one or both has been married before. My ex is gone to heaven now for one year so I got alot of that ole burden lifted of my shoulder!

Answer 4

If you're sure that this marriage can't be fixed, it's time to leave. People CAN still be friends if too much damage hasn't been done. I divorced my husband 17 years ago and we're friends. We had kids and know that for us it was the only way to make it work.
If your husband really wants to be friends, I see no reason why it shouldn't work. It just takes 2 grown ups. Good luck on your new life.

Answer 5

Yes you can.. and be aware that many a divorced couple will remarry each other again, in time. You attract the same type, its just the way of your thought and senses. So to dump one guy you will most likely find one similar, cause no matter how often you run away you still have to take yourself into any relationship.

Answer 6

I believe so - stressing "believe". I have tried this for 5 years and I keep banging my head against the wall. My divorce was not about cheating, lieing, abuse, violence - it wasn't about not being able to be in the same room, it was not about two poeple hating each other. Taking this into consideration, we were best friends - it seemed to me anyway - and that was one of the hardest things to let go of because we shared so much through the years - and then came our son. That was a most glorious day of his birth celebration. We built a business together even though I ran it mostly - she helped for only 3 total years of it - but we built together to a point for OUR future and eventually our son's future. Traveling internationally as we did for so many years - my son has put more miles in the air by the age of 2 than most people do in 5 years - it was the nature of our meeting one another and getting involved with eachother.

I tried to talk to her (for 5 years and tried to show her we couold still relate on those terms), claiming the damage that would be done to our son if she insisted on this wall of silence and rejection and vervbal attacks - I still tried to reason with her. Now a BF involved - he was hidden for months before coming out from hiding- and she still refuses to talk or discuss openly.

She is very adamant about "I have no desire to talk to you, discuss with you or spend any time talking" And so, trying to be friends with her - I have realized that friendship can be a one way street.

So I have to get an email now and then, or send requests for response to issues about our son to a Parental Coordinator, if she finds my email disturbing, she blocks it - she tried to get a restraining order because of email - the judge said, "this is not harassment by definition or in this court room"

I still don't see wahy we cannot - at best - be cordial in front of our son. I used to walk through that door 1000s of times, before, during and post divorce - now she demanded curbside pick up and drop off. I have no history of violence or threats - and my son sees his father being forced to do this. And now he sees another man sitting in his father's place at the dinner table and his father having to call from the parking lot.

And I still try to be friends with her for the betterment of all....maybe there are things that are impossible - I have never believed in that word before.

Answer 7

I'm going to be finding this one out. I'm getting divorced from the girl that was my best friend. I do still love her, but we just weren't a good match in a realtionship. I hope that someday, once the dust settles, we can be friends again.

Answer 8

Yes, you can be friends again, just not immediately, it will take some time maybe years but if you both have a open heart and a willing spirit to do whats right, in treating each other with dignity and respect. It is possible. I have been div. from my kids dad for 16 years, we are better friends now than when together. It is much better for kids, him and me.

Answer 9

i think so, guess it would depend on the circumstances for the reason of the divorce. if both can accept that it was just the marriage that was causing problems a friendship could be brought back after the divorce

Answer 10

Depends on you and the ex. I have an ex husband that is still a friend. I am fixin' to have another ex-husband that I can't stand the sight of. It just really depends on you, the ex and whether or not you are both WILLING to make a friendship work. Good luck.

Answer 11

I don't speak from personal experience although I have been divorced. I have met people who are great friends after divorce though.