making this brief. i have a girlfriend and a boyfriend. we all live together. as i stated before,{other Q} the man has no ambition to better himself or hold a full job, yet he helps around the house and helps me with my sis 2 yr old kid. in a quest. you all said i should kick him out due to his childish ways. the thing is recently i began having horrible thoughts. i was a victim of sexual violence and some other abuse and i thought it went away, so now it's like when he touches me or is around me and intimate, i just can't deal with it, or want to be around him and i cringe and i have painc attacks and this abuse was 10 yrs ago. i figured to move on, you know? i'm freaking out and i just want to cry, and i do appreciate him, but feel so bad and guilty. this has started like 4 months ago and i just can't handle it and i distance myself, and try to focus on other things like the baby, i just get frustrated and mad and i don't know what to do but feel like i want to run away. wht do i do?
2007-02-15 02:18:54 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i know what you are feeling, and it took me 30 years for it to surface. i had a very hard time when i started to remember things from the past, i couldn't stand to be touched intimately, and it was terrible to feel that way, i hated when my bf tried to be sexual with me, i finally ended the relationship. i could not handle it. it took a lot of years to deal with my past experience and the sexual abuse. talking about it with someone helps, but you really need to see a counselor or someone who can help put you in the right direction. it won't just go away and it will interfere in every relationship you have until you deal with it. good luck!!
2007-02-15 02:36:48 · answer #1 · answered by cvgm702 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should see a counselor to help you with the abuse you suffered in the past. It isn't fair to him to be punished for the actions of others. I've never been in the situation you are facing in any way, shape or form so I really am just someone on the outside looking in. As far as the job thing... maybe he should just get a part time job and take care of the house for the full time workers. I like that he helps with the kid. A lot of men won't have anything to do with someone else's kids.
2007-02-15 02:30:29 · answer #2 · answered by yourstruly_76 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to have some friends around you when you tell him he has to move out, for your sake at least. If he is a true friend, he will understand how you are currently feeling. I wish you the best, perhaps seek some professional help, it can't hurt, there is something that your mind is telling you. It's like an instinct, but sometimes we require, that additional help to unlock the secret. I hope this information helps you out, Please take care.
2007-02-15 02:28:11 · answer #3 · answered by Cindybear 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this may be happening g because this guy triggered something in you from your past abuse. this is a serious matter . now that you are in contact with your feelings again its time to get help . there is a support group for that . i implore you to look into it for your own healing. what your feeling now can start to grow unbearable for you. ( believe me i been there ) consider this guy there a gift to remind you that you need to heal after that abuse. go get yourself some help. do yourself a favor and work through this . i suggest you don't just look away . contact me if your open to that, i may be able to cast some light on your situation. what you're feeling is normal being what you went through. now its time to deal with it .
2007-02-15 02:28:14 · answer #4 · answered by cherylanne 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I would say to go to a therapist for the abuse or at least talk to him about it so he knows how you feel. I was also a victim of sexual violence but I don`t have this problem but maybe that`s because I went to therapy for it. As for him not having a job tell him he needs to get one and give him so much time and tell him that if he doesn`t get one in this amount of time then he`s out.let him know your serious. If you feel that the job is important then he should to and if he doesn`t well then you can find someone way better.that appreciates your morals and values.
2007-02-15 02:26:08 · answer #5 · answered by Ashley J 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to figure out your personal issues before you can get your other relationships figured out. It takes time to work out abuse issues... even when you're not trying to avoid/ignore them. (Speaking from personal experience.) It often helps to hash it out with a professional counselor... many counties offer affordable (sometimes free) counseling for this kind of thing. It might be worth looking into.
2007-02-15 02:30:25 · answer #6 · answered by selena n 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get help for survivors of sexual abuse. It doesn't matter that it was 10yrs ago, it's still inside of you until you deal with it and learn how to heal from it. Good luck
2007-02-15 02:25:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to get counseling. You have pushed all this down and it won't go away. They well give you the tools to be able to live with this without this ruining your life.
2007-02-15 02:25:11 · answer #8 · answered by kitkat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Higher stress levels affect both the mental and physical health of a person. Deep breathing is a simple relaxation technique which can be used to effectively lower stress levels at any time.There are many deep breathing relaxation techniques which when followed will make you feel relaxed.More details and remedies at http://deeplyrelax.com
2007-02-16 12:38:56 · answer #9 · answered by sanki 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Find a counselor or support group and try to work thru your feelings. You have a lot of issues to deal with. Facing your fears and working thru them is the only way.
2007-02-15 02:28:03 · answer #10 · answered by eharrah1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋