Am I a lost cause?

Question

I grew up an only child and I'm and introvert. I feel like I'm horrible at making friends and I need to get a life but I don't have direction. I've considered meditation and self seeking remedies but it still feels like there is a part of my life missing ~understanding/patience~ I want to be able to build healthy friendships but I have issues with rejection and separation. I tried a psychologist but it only made me feel worse about myself. Where do I go from here? I want a healthy well rounded balanced life with fun and enjoyment...but its really hard for me to figure out what I like to do.

Answer 1

I've been in that state of mind most of my life, but not any more. First, be thankful that you're the way you are. You feel with your soul. Aren't you glad that you're not arrogant. Answers are there, just start searching. Einstein, Socrates, Aristotle, Plato, Jesus, Buddha, philosophers from the beginning of time have been on this stuff. Learn to look past the character of the teacher and try to understand what they're trying to say. This stuff is huge. It's the path to inner-peace. Tools. I'll tell you, one of the neatest books I've ever read is Dr. Laura's' "Bad Childhood, Good Life". Trust me It's Perhaps the best 15-20$ you'll ever spend. I buy them whenever I see them in a used book store and give them away (with cautions about not judging the book by the authors character). "Life 101" by, I think it's Peter McWilliams is another excellent book. "Our lives expand and contract in direct proportion to the amount of courage we exact". Just summon the courage for truth and truth will give your courage! Take care!

Answer 2

A lot of people will agree that life is spent answering this question in one way or another and for all sorts of reasons. Life is not as easy as 1+1 because lives twists and turns don't always = 2. I have many interests and have tried my hand at anything and everything. I can not point to a particular interest but can speak on many social subjects. I'm not particularly an expert in anything but have theories for many things. Looking for that "one thing" can hinder you and limit your choices. I know what I would like to do and where I want to be but frankly at the rate my life is moving it might require a miracle if I am to achieve in this lifetime. That does not stop me working with what I have and can to achieve the ultimate goal. It feels like I keep getting waylaid and loosing focus but experience has taught me that every time I regain focus It seems that I am that little bit closer to my dream. Enjoy the moment and live in the moment; not in the future or past or by somebody else's standards. Enjoy watching your innate skills unfold through whatever you find yourself doing always steering towards your goal. Every goal achieved makes way for a new one. It is the nature of our ever evolving minds.

Answer 3

I am an Only Child also. We are different from others as you know so well. We must give ourselves the room we have come to need and be kind to ourselves rather than defending all of our intentions. Think of your position as being one that enabled you to be more thoughtful and insightful rather than concentrating on the negative. You may have experienced some envy and criticism from others because you were an Only Child but don't carry it like a cross you have to bear. We had many advantages that others will never fully appreciate. But that's better left unsaid.

Answer 4

i used to be just like you, your not a lost cause, i used to have no friends no direction, thinking about trying all these new things, then i realised that thinking isnt gonna make them happen but DOING will.

maybe try doing a martial art and build up confidence and self discipline, with self discipline comes patiences, and with confidence comes the understand of how to approach people without fearing a rejection.

also after i left school i was very protective of me, after years of bullying id put up this wall where i was the tiny terror, i wouldnt work with anyone i didnt have healthy friendships.

but that wall got torn down, when i done a music course, i had to work with people that would normally be the ones laughing at me in the school halls, and that boosted my confidence even more.

so try a martial art, try doing a course where u have to work as a team, dont just think about it, do it.

Answer 5

Find something you enjoy doing. If you're not sure what that is, try things you think you might enjoy. Try to make it something that you've heard or seen other people enjoying. Now, go out and do it -- ALOT. When you're out doing it talk to other people that are doing it. Ask them questions (ppl love to talk about themselves), like: how long, how often, why did they start doing it. Before you know it you end up with a friend that likes doing something that you do. You will share something in common, and who knows what else

Answer 6

i am in a similar situation. i am going back to college next week dto do something i think i MIGHT like. i really have no clue what i want to do either so i am trying something that i hope will work for me. by doing this i hope to also make friends b/c i need them. so try SOMETHING!! i know you don't know, but find out what others like and maybe you can try that out and you will be able to meet friends this way since you will share a common interest.

Answer 7

You have tried all the normal therapys---So I guess you're a lost cause.Bummer.