A new Valentines Day fight question??

Question

My wife and I have been fighting all the time for the past month. We are very tight on money and I am unemployed. I am looking for a job, but I know it takes time on that. Anyway, she comes home moody (after asking it´s because her bosses are idiots) but of course she shouts at the one that loves her the most, me. I will say now, that I am irresponsible and stupid (you hear it enough, you believe it) but I have made many changes since living with her, including one about the amount of fellatio I used to give. However, she is depressed (yes, I know) but she is not taking care of herself like she used to, she doesn´t dress up sexy anymore, the fellatio is abysmal (yes, I am a man, so like it or not, it is an issue for me), the sex is less, and the blaming and finger pointing (from both of us, I can admit mistakes) is much much more. That´s the thing. I can admit a mistake, but she is (ALWAYS) right even when she is wrong. Since I came here the one problem I would say I had with

with her is that I think she takes me for granted. I read an old e-mail from her, that was so lovey dovey that I just wanted to cry. It is NOTHING like that now. And I hint, I straight up tell, and I have even politely asked but she just doesn´t get it. We can NOT afford a counselor. I just want respect. I want her to invent new ways of giving fellatio like I did. I want her to think what it is like for me when she comes home upset, and takes it out on me. And I want her to know that maybe now, but not always will I be waiting for her to come around. She gives a weak apology later and now it just bounces off of me cuz I know it will happen again and again. And by the way, I cook and do the dishes, she does other chores. She doesn´t have time during the week to go as insane on the house as she wants to, so the weekend is basically not for relaxation but for help me freakishly clean everything (whether it needs to be clean or not) or I will play power games and be lazy in bed.

I love her and it tears me up so much to have to even think these things. I try not to be a pig (but if the ladies of Wysteria Lane are desparate) then whoa, I should call up a hot female plumber. And I am NOT that type of guy to cheat. Also, she has had a couple bad bf´s in the past, and of course that changed her perception of all men, and that is the opposite of me. But when you are used to being judged (me) it just sounds like a hang-up. I want to tell her without having a fight, enough is enough, don´t take it to the point where I tell you that I don´t love you anymore. And by the way I told her that I am not satisfied. She said fine, I will close my mouth, open my legs, and just be your object then (sarcastically of course) and that is the farthest from what anybody wants or needs to hear. I need help to deal with this better, because I am getting sick again (stomach problems that seem to come from stress) and I don´t want to be the guy that upgrades and finds someone els

Answer 1

Fellawhat?

Answer 2

Maybe just maybe you have changed as well and you dont see it. maybe she was treated poorly in the past so to do "new" things in bed makes her feel uncomfortable. Or maybe she is not comfortable with the way she looks and doesnt want do to certain things. Obviously her confidence is way down. Have you tried jsut giving her a flower once in a while? Or just preparing a romantic meal or telling her sweet nothings. Like me maybe shes the type of girl who needs romance. Im getting married in 3 months i work 40 plus hours a week and am extremely tired so i dont feel like "being" with my fiancee every night. Its not that i dont love him its that im tired. Maybe she tired!! As far as the alwasy being right thing. i can relate. I do admit that when my fiancee and i argue and i know im wrong i have a hard time admitting when i am. Like last night i ruined valentines with my awful attitude he stormed off at 530pm and went to bed. I ate dinner by myself. But refused to go in there and say sorry its a pride thing. I know its wrong but it roots from much much more.