How do you like this poem?

Question

Not Worth a Memory


You mean nothing to me
You’re not even worth a memory

You don’t deserve my love
You don’t deserve my hate

For a punishment
It is too late

No forgiveness
Just blame your fate

Stop trying at my gate

Even a curse
Would be wasted on you

I’m only human
I make mistakes
I did some with you

In my reality
And in my mind
You are
No longer to be found

You’ve been chased away
You’ve been thrown out
You’ve been ignored
You’ve been left crying at the door

You’ve been killed by silence
By the silence in my lands...
By my absence...
By my silent presence...

Answer 1

I like it,
It shout the Truth of ; " it is impossible to forget someone we loved"
Such a long poem about someone that "...mean nothing to me" someone that is "... not even worth a memory"
I'd say it is more easy to put someone in a plastic bag and hide it in the back of the memory until the time give to the dark souvenirs an pastel colour.
It is better to keep a bad experience as a step to grow instead of trying to forget it and by this way put himself at risk to fall in the same hole again don't you think so?

Answer 2

I don't quite like the rhythm of it - can't put my finger on it, but something is just not right! There are some really strong parts, and there are some you might try to reconsider, like line 1-4, then 6, 8 and 9, from 12-18, then 22. I'm not saying these lines are bad, I'm just saying that you should try to see if they could sound better, and also if they could have a less open meaning. I presume it's a true story - based poem? One can clearly see when your emotions just got over you :)
What I like the most about the poem is its paradox - the motive of the whole thing is about ignoring a certain person, and yet, here stands a whole poem, in fact, about the same person! I believe you meant it to be like that - it's great! The lyrics clearly state your strongest feelings about the person, but the very fact that this poem exists, states an underline of the whole story...

P.S. - just so that you know, I meant in no way to insult you, or to be rude, or something like that; anything I've said about the poem that you didn't like was said with only good intention, as an advice (I have been writing poetry for more than 5 years, and I had to learn how to take a critique, and also to appreciate one!).
All best...

Answer 3

I think some words do not sound right..
like -I DID some with you
i think it would sound better I made some with you
Some others.. reread it and revise it till it is perfect!
It sounds pretty good