Relationship dead??

Question

What happens when a relationship of long standing dies? Is it a feeling of boredom and stopping making an effort? What if the sex is good but you fancy other people too? Is it constant bickering and resentment? Help please...

Answer 1

it could be u both stop makin an effort. u stop doing the things u used to do when u were datin each other like goin out places together, makin out in the car or cinema etc. u stop spendin quality time together and allow other less important things to creep in. u are no longer patient and understanding with each other. many things

Answer 2

Constant bickering means an underlying problem, maybe you just have great sex, if that is it ,enjoy but you know as well as I it is not the be all and end of all, it is just great at the time but life takes a lot of living and a lot of loving.As to the fancy of other people, I'm extremely worried,so your having great sex, so you need great sex from someone else!!!! Is it love or are you just happy with a quick leg over, do you realy know what love offers and entails?

Answer 3

Are you asking how you got to where you are without providing any relevant details?

Or are you asking what it takes to make a relationship work generally?

The general answer:

1. Integrity: they are who they say they are;their words and actions are congruent. They are not an actor or an actress or suffering emotional disorders that prevent them from being integrated beings.

2. Respect: they are somebody you can respect and who respects youl

3. They are interesting: they have their own interests and they pursue them and are open to change.

4. They are confident. They aren't needy and looking for a partner to fill some void within themselves. They are not a doormat or a victim. They are assertive, not passive-agressive and manipulating.

5. They are flexible givers: they understand give and take, and they aren't highly structured and controlling. Again they are assertive without resorting to agression. They can sit down and calmly discuss their boundaries and needs, and they will take lime to listen to you about the same in order to reach a compromise.

6. They have checked the emotional baggage: they aren't victims of their own past emotional traumas. They have learned from their experiences and channeled it into a positve evolution.

If any of the above character traits are missing, then there are likely going to be nasty suprises down the road in a serious relationship with this person. While dating, when they act in a way that contradicts one of the above criteria, that is a red flag. If they have too many red flags, then move on, so take your time getting to know somebody, and don't give away your heart too freely. You wouldn't loan money to somebody who hadn't earned a good credit rating, and your heart and your sanity are more important than your money, so take your time and be careful.

So now subject yourself to those criteria. How did you fare?

Answer 4

If you stop making an effort then you can't actually expect the relationship not to die..

A relationship is NEVER easy and ALWAYS hard work, the trick is to enjoy working hard to impress and keep him/her interested..add the fact that a relationship is a two way street and bob's your uncle..it should be fine..

If you still enjoy the sex, then all can't be lost, that's a connection - build on that, better to try than to realize what you had when its lost.

If the above still does not make a difference, then yes, it's dead/over.

Answer 5

I know what you mean. I'm in a relationship and I feel it's won't go further or develop into something more for a long long time and I don't think I want to wait that long and I'm now bored and like you beginning to fancy other people.

My own way out of this is that I'm currently ending it. I really don't want to do it but if things can't chance (there are other factors that I don't want to list on here) then it's unfair to me to put my life on hold. I have to move on....

Good luck.

Answer 6

We all get caught up in day to day routines and we start to take our partners for granted and we get too tired to be bothered romancing them anymore. This is when the bickering starts up. The question you need to ask yourself is whether you are compatible with your partner (do you share goals and values, for instance? Do you want the same things?) and if the answer is yes, your relationship might just need a bit of effort invested in it. Take your partner out on "dates" to places you've never been, remember to say something nice about them to them each day. Try this before you run for the hills.

Answer 7

I would say resentment and arguing..you just give up in the end!
If you still fancy others then it is not real love..
Boredom can we very good at times allowing peaceful moments..between you.
Try and aim for a bit of each and.. voila..a perfect relationship!!

Answer 8

Sound more like a marriage. Seem like you afraid to move on because you remember the good times you both had. And it hurt so bad just to think about saying good-by. Try saying let be friends. Hopefully this will help you to move on.

Answer 9

There is no problem with your relationship or partner .You are having problem with yourself because you are not finding peace within yourself . First find ways to be happy and contented with yourself ,everything will be in place after that . Try to consult clinical psychologist. There's nothing bad to take help.

Answer 10

What you need to do is find something of interest to both of you. something that stimulates conversation and inter action. Sex is great but is not the only answer. Do stuff together, and turn the telly off.