My boyfriend broke up with me after 18 months telling me I was a bit bossy and trying to get him to do things that I wanted rather than he wanted. I was always very good to him and I am not an overbearing person by any means. I was often upset that he would go to to his parents house most weekends and sometimes I would even cry because I'd miss him so much. ( he doesn't know that) I wake every morning with that gutted feeling in my tummy. I think I may have pushed the issue of him not sending time with me and picked on a few things this weekend. Then I got the call on Sunday night. I was so shocked.
Another guy who I fancied before I met my boyfriend, has been texting me for a long time trying to get me out for coffee. I was curious but would have never met him as I loved my boyfriend.I needed a bit of attention as I was so hurt and I also thought this is the time to meet him, as it's over. We got on fine, in fact he was nice to me and was trying to cheer me up.
2007-02-14 23:09:44 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He kissed me but, I didn't feel any major chemistry with him though, as I still love my boyfriend.But he said he was looking forward to our next meeting and taht made me smile. I was so used to being with my boyfriend it was the best relationship I have ever had. I found he was very uncommunicative at times and that was hard to deal with. I thought the world of him. I don't know what to do. I need advice.Thks
2007-02-14 23:14:37 · update #1
I think I am going to be ok on my own. And I will at least stop worrying about if and when and what he is doing at wkends, and when he is calling to see me.
2007-02-15 00:59:14 · update #2
His Misunderstandings
1. You were a bit bossy and were trying to get him to do things that you wanted
2. You may have pushed the issue of him not spending time with you and picked on a few things this weekend
Reality
1. I was always very good to him and I am not an overbearing person by any means
2. I was often upset that he would go to to his parents house most weekends
3. You Cried and missed him so much.
Why dont you clear ur misunderstandings ? and tell the reality to your boy friend ?
What u wrote above shows how much you care for him, I wish you a very loving relationship with your boy friend. Dont let misunderstandings spoil your relationship and be responsible to convey what's true.
Be friend to this guy, anyone would be sympathetic, even me ?
2007-02-14 23:19:54 · answer #1 · answered by Goldman 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are crying over a man who spent most of his weekends at his parents? How old is he? If he's over 21 then you have to worry about that! Any man who spends more time with mummy than his girlfriend of 18 months is going to end up a sad lonely mummys boy. You are much better off without him, especially if he didn't even have the guts to tell you face to face. What an absolute coward!!!!! Yes it hurts, but I think that is because you love the idea of being in love and with someone. The right one will come along, I have no doubt about that, and each person you meet you will love in a different way to the last. Just focus on all the little things that used to annoy you about him. And this new guy. Make it clear that you are still upset and that nothing will happen for a while, you won't want to to leave him feeling like you are now in a few months when you realise that you were on the rebound. However for you to entertain actually going out with him is a good sign that you might move on sooner than you think!
2007-02-14 23:25:55 · answer #2 · answered by Jojotraveller 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rejoice that you only wasted 18 month with this guy, he saved you a whole lot of money and wasted time. Sure you might hurt and miss him for a while. Trust and believe it's gonna get better each and every day.
The new man whose been pursuing you give him a chance, You might find out he's a real cool person to spend time with. although he may want you in an intimate way, It's up to you, to convey to him, how you want this relationship to progress, not the other way around, maybe, this is the relationship that will help you identify why you became the one hurting.
So, get over, you believed it was a good relationship, and realizes he didn't have the decency to confront you face to face, about what ever he disliked, regarding you all relationship? Truthfully speaking, you know he's a jerk, who cares less. how, about, thinking along these lines. Don't YOU deserve better? It's not fair you're the only one committed in this relationship (re + lat + ing = ship) of eighteen month, Because had he truly cared, he would not, by any means feel comfortable, about breaking the relationship off, over the phone. That alone shows no sympathy or compassion, toward someone you've conveyed you love or have deep feeling for.
Nevertheless your hurt will mend and you'll start feeling better. It's not going to happen.......... overnight, However, each day is going to get better, and the next guy you meet, be a little more skeptical and particular, who you give your heart and love too. It's certainly better to be loved, than to love unecessarily, and alone with a broken heart,,,,, It sounds, as though, that bad feeling in your stomach is, you were too involved, and he wasn't involved enough.....
Truth be said, It's time you love YOU a lot more,,,,, you definitely won't keep or experience real love, until, you've learned to trust and love yourself BEST..,so, take this time getting, in touched with yourself and your feelings, knowing youself better is a lot more interesting....than worrying about a guy who still lives at home with ma and pa? think along these possibilities, you might not get back together, deepening that pain in your stomach. However, working on you, will become a lot more easier and interesting along with keeping you solid the next time you fall in love, Because as soon as you let go, you'll start seeing him with open eyes and not bedroom eyes(smile), soon he'll regret he left a good girl and possibly a lifetime friend...Peace be with you..........Stay strong.
2007-02-15 00:21:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey babes i answered your question you posted yest....like i say you're still in shock n it will take time to adjust. I don't personally think it's a good idea to start seein dis new guy straight away only bcoz i think it would b hard for you as you will keep comparing him to your x. Your head is not in the right place to b meeting someone so soon an d guy might want more than you're able to give. However if you explain the situation to him n he understands then mayb it could b a bit of fun for a while. I've been where you've been an you will come thru this a stronger person hun. Good luck whatever you decide to do x x x
2007-02-14 23:49:26 · answer #4 · answered by Dolly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah men, the worst thing you can do is nag them, over anything! You might as well just end it yourself than go down that route. best thing to do is just mention that you miss him at the weekends and would like it if he could spend one with you in the future, just say it once, they do hear, but if you nag, they run away.
You have learnt a valuable lesson here, but at the end of the day, he dumped you over the phone, after that long together, and didn't give you a chance to change, so you can be pretty sure he just wanted out anyway, but that's okay, because you are such a hot chick you have a guy waiting already!
Just relax and see this new guy a bit more, but don't rush things, you're young (at uni?) and chances are, anyone you get with at uni, you won't be wityh forever anyway, so take your time and enjoy your youth and beauty, because one day you will be old and saggy and perving over teenagers in the post office, and you'll wish you had more fun when you were younger.
(that last bit is from my aunt.)
2007-02-14 23:16:54 · answer #5 · answered by CHARISMA 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it's nice to go with a friend for coffee. However if you are hoping to save your relationship with your boyfriend... you need to take time out. Jumping from another guy to the next will just confuse your heart. Give your boyfriend some time. Spend this time thinking about the stregths and weaknesses of the relationship. Then send him a letter in a week simply saying you hope he's doing fine, you apologize for not respecting his space and if he ever wants to talk to call you. Just that ...if the letters too long he's going to feel more crowded with your feelings.
2007-02-14 23:20:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you asking for advice on getting over your ex or whether you should see the new guy? Surely to get over your ex you could go out with the new guy more... However, don't do it if it's just a rebound thing. If you still have feelings for your ex you need to respect how this new guy feels about you and not lead him on if the relationship isn't going to go anywhere. Think carefully before you act and then hopefully no-one will get hurt. Good luck.
2007-02-14 23:16:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
After being so nice to your boyfriend, he thanks you by a nice 'it's over'. Save yourself from tears, if the other guy is cheering up, it means that he's sincere and cares for you. You may have loved your boyfriend a lot but what's over is over. He couldn't see the best things in you, he 'threw you away like trash' after caring and loving him so much. He has a soul of ice! I guess you thought he was someone you could rely on. For him , I'm sure you were just a shoulder to cry on. 'A face of on a lover with a fire in his heart. A man undercover ' but he TORE YOU APART!
Forget about him, and get with the guy you fancied so long...
2007-02-14 23:56:39 · answer #8 · answered by Lady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
only the the only continuously there for him. It in elementary words looked akward to you. How is that no longer meant to be akward. negative boy nevertheless loves you :) Kisses on the cheek instruct appreciate. And atleast he's gonna get you his new huge variety and all. And a present for christmas. My boyfriend when we were starting off to chop up, he went to the ER without texting me or something for dats which i understand. I talked to his mom. yet even after restore he replaced into very distant and ultimately broke it off. this isn't an identical tale
2016-11-03 12:28:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
See dear
i'v seen a lot of such matters go on with my friends, the thing is , its either that u r too posessive i dont mean to say that wat u r doing is bad ...but we need to understand that they need their freedom too if we keep telling them to things may be they dont like things dont turn up well... so i would say u give him a call and tell him that u love him alot n told him to do this and that only coz u love him n want to see the best in him. if u need any more help plz do let me know ok hope things work out well 4 u
take care
2007-02-15 00:10:55 · answer #10 · answered by sam 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋