What is the first step in obtaining a divorce?

Question

What is the first step in arranging for a divorce? My husband does not take me seriously. He refuses to move out and we have 3 children, 2 whom are enrolled in the local school district. I don't have any nearby relatives or friends to accomodate me. What is my first step?

We've been to a marriage councelor. We are just so incompatible.

Answer 1

Get the telephone book, look up a number and call social services for a referal.

Answer 2

I wrote an eBook about this topic if you're interested its available from my website at www.whentoseparate.com along with a bunch of articles about divorce and what to do.

The first step in arranging a divorce is to be really clear that's what you want. You have kids. Have you tried counseling alone or as a couple? You owe it to your kids to make sure you've exhausted all means of fixing your relationship problems. If you decide to pursue divorce, there are a bunch of things you need to do, including consulting an attorney, and getting a support network around yourself and your kids, and some housekeeping such as closing joint accounts.

You need to complete forms to divorce (I've included a link to an article that explains what those forms are if you're US based) and then you have a choice of mediation, DIY divorce, collaboration or full blown court battles (which are very costly).

In terms of your partner not leaving, you have a number of options. The bottom line is that this guy (assuming he's the father of your kids) will be in your life forever, so you might as well make it as pleasant as possible for yourself. Ask him again, give him some time, raise the issue again gently. Set a deadline. Try to be patient and reasonable. Your attorney or counselor may also offer you strategies. Calling the police or a locksmith is a last resort and sets the scene for a bitter divorce.

Anyway, I hope this helps. Good luck.

Answer 3

Go to a lawyer and have him draw up the divorce papers. It is a pain and can be alil expensive. So look around first. I am divorced and it was the best thing that I ever did. It took over a year for it to all be final. But it was worth the wait. Take whatever money you have and open your own account. Cancel joint credit cards if you have too. Because once this starts ppl can get very mean and try to ruin your credit. Look into Social Services they may be able to help you with a lawyer if you have limited income. Good luck!

Answer 4

Go find a paralegal and get the proper paperwork for filing a legal separation. After that stage is complete, begin the 6-week process of gathering any and all financial data you will need to completely sever any and all legal ties for debt and financial consideration. Once you have placed an ad in a local paper(the paralegal will tell you why this is necessary), you now have the option of moving out of the house or staying and risking him finding out and doing the same thing on the grounds of incompatibility. Your children are going to be unhappy and confused for many years to come, but you must remain focused on your task at hand. This person has become the enemy and you have to treat them that way without informing your kids, family or friends what your intentions are. You are going to fight this battle totally ALONE. Good luck, you're going to need it...

Answer 5

Go see a Lawyer. As long as you have Custody of your Kids, he will have to be the one to leave and the Courts will allow him 30 days to find a place. Are you working? You are gonna need an income to maintain the home and pay the Bills. Talking to a Lawyer is your best course of action for now. He can tell you, your rights and what steps need to be taken.. Good Luck

Answer 6

Try and reconcile, just remember, you are responsible for the success of your marriage just as much as he is.
You cannot dump all the reponsibility on him to change, maybe you need to change? Maybe your expectations of him are too high?

If he is slapping you around or emotionally abusive, go see a paralegal (cheaper than lawyers) and they can file the paperwork for you. Divorce depends on where you live, some countries require you to live seperate lives for a year before granting the divorce, others you can fill in a form and have it noted.

Answer 7

Get a lawyer and serve him papers suing him for divorce. He may not move out, it may be a game of who tries to stay in the house the longest, and it will be painful.

As long as you do not feel you are in physical danger, DO NOT move from the house because he can sue you for abandonment.

Get a lawyer now.

Answer 8

Get an attorney, file for divorce, after you file you can request that the sherriff escort your husband out. they will favor the mother and stability of the children, so you need to stay in the house until the divorce procedings. There are many ways to get legal help and financial help if you need it, but you need to start with getting a divorced filed.

Answer 9

1st you go to the bank open and account in your name only. Close your joint account securing any and all funds into your own account. Move out of your marital bedroom, Even if you have to sleep on the couch do it.

Next step is to cancell everything that is joint with your name on it. Secure credit in your name only!

Next seek out a good family law attorney. Have a consultation and retain him or her! Let the lawyer do his job and have him file for divorce. The first course of action will be the Petition for Temporary Relief---this will force the judges hand to court order someone out of the marital residence and secure support for you and your children.

Be ready for the roller coaster ride because divorce is very emotional!

Enjoy your children and your life with them. Focus your energies on yourself and your mental health and well being!

Answer 10

Get a lawyer to help you get your husband out of the house and child support while you are waiting for divorce.