i am a male transgendered in the process of changing to female. i live in a small redneck town and i choose to stay here in my home town while i am going thru my transition. everyone says that i am going to be very pretty and not to worry. why do i worry so much about what others think about me instead of caring about what i want and what will make me happy? everyone that knows i am changing supports me and will be there for me but why on earth do so many people judge others for trying to live thier own life and not worry about thiers? i just want to become female without all the hassle. i am a regular average normal girl who cares about others and has never hurt anyone.
thanks,
tessa marie moore
2007-02-14 22:46:22 · 10 answers · asked by tessamoore63 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
You need to get out and be a girl, or you're going to be second-guessing your decision forever.
Grab a girlfriend if you can; if you can't, go alone.
Get OUT, go to the city, stay overnight if it's that far away. Go shopping, get a pedicure, get a makeover, TALK TO PEOPLE. The people in the shops are paid to talk to you. Take advantage, and buy something. Ask advice, explain you're new at this, if it's in your comfort level or if you think they've guessed anyway. It might put you both at ease. Compliment the woman looking at the skirt standing next to you. Ask advice from the other shoppers. Women sort of do that.
Hey, there are lots of people who are paid to talk to you. Talk to them. Go to the library information desk, the tourist bureau, even city hall... ask about the procedure for getting a business license or something else. Pick someone who's not busy and TALK.
Girls talk. A lot, sometimes. Join in, and don't worry.
You have a choice. You can assume people will reject you and be surprised if they don't, or you can assume people will accept you and be disappointed when they do. Except if you do the first, you'll never get to the surprise because you won't try.
2007-02-15 00:47:02 · answer #1 · answered by Meg W 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi Tessa,
It's normal to constantly worry about what others think of you - in fact it is an important part of the whole transition process. I am presuming that you have stared hormone replacement therapy. If you haven't that would be a good thing to consider. For myself I just took the meds and let them do their thing as well as doing laser and electrolysis. My body did the rest slowly over time. I go to stores that I have been going to for years and I guess that the staff either think I am a relation of the person they once knew or that I was female all along and they just had it wrong... And this is all while still in "guy mode". So I would just play "softball" and wait it out and let perceptions change by themself. People don't want to ask questions in this regard. Just do it slowly and let those around you adjust - it's an almost automatic process. Over time, people who do not know you well will start to internally question their earleir assesment of you and start to accept that maybe they were wrong. Just give it time... You'll be A-OK :)
2007-02-15 18:20:41 · answer #2 · answered by kimposing 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I live in a small town too, and am going through the same thing. A lot of it really depends on how "passable" you are, if you look bad people will mock and degrade you, and never really believe that you want to do this. If you look good, or at least decent, than people will be more accepting. Sad but true. Personally, I never really fit in as a guy, even my parents thought that I was gay or something, so it wasn't really a shock to anyone when I told them what I was going to do, which has helped people accept me. It does take awhile for people to realize that this is really happening though, especially since the hormones take awhile to work and voice training is rather difficult. I don't know about the dating scene, no one has ever had any real interest in me, so I can't advise you there.
2007-02-15 00:28:18 · answer #3 · answered by elvishbard 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No you're not any further transgendered. You were only a tomboy as a newborn and also you over learn issues thanks to a lot. also there is not any such aspect as avoidant personality ailment. basically because you stay away from issues would not make it a "ailment" you basically utilising that as an excuse for no longer doing issues. you want to get a existence in case you waste a lot time pasting lengthy comments asking when you're transgender at the same time as obviously you're not any further. A transgender is someone who's confident they must be the different gender. in case you at the instantaneous are satisfied you're woman then for sure you are able to not be. trouble-free and easy. ok sorry then. think ofyou've got suggested the stress ailment then i does no longer were so harsh.
2016-12-04 05:07:42 · answer #4 · answered by lesniewski 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's only natural that we want to fit into society and be accepted and be loved. i want to start transition soon as well, and the entire thought is really scaring the heck out of me.
there are transsexuals all over the world and we need to seek each other out for comfort and advice, kinda like a support group. there are many beautiful M2F in this world that are totally passable, and although transition won't take place over night, regardless of what you end up looking like, the fact that you will be happy will really be refelected in your personality... if you become your true self, you will be happy, comfortable and confident in yourself. your attitude will rub off on others and people will flock to you. they will love you, they will want to be your friend.. you will become a person that everyone will want to hang out with. success breeds success.. try not to worry about others yet. just focus on being yourself and loving yourself and enjoying your new self.. and others will jump on your band wagon so fast.. all the best and good luck!
2007-02-15 04:19:28 · answer #5 · answered by Jeff 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes even our creation has made a serious mistake in our biological makeup when we are born. We all start 50/50 male/female. When that gets tilted the inevitable occurs. Be proud of yourself since it must be a great burdon on you to begin with. Remember there are people out here who realize you are who you are and that's that. Good luck to you and your future female self too.
2007-02-14 23:16:21 · answer #6 · answered by cadaholic 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tessa, if you can hang in there and maintain your sanity, great. I think once your transition is done and folks get used to it, it will be OK. And be aware that some of the hostility is curiosity disguised, mixed with a little fear and possibly a dash on envy... Good luck, Angel.
2007-02-15 01:14:38 · answer #7 · answered by iwasnotanazipolka 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should always do whatever makes you happy. The only thing that matters is that you are a human being, in whatever form you choose to take. I have, and never had, nothing against any form changing. All people should feel free choosing in whatever form they want to exist and live happily being in that form.
2007-02-14 23:07:48 · answer #8 · answered by OC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm glad you have support while you're going through this! You're a lucky girl that way.
Honey, do what is right for YOU!!! I'm thinking there will always be bigots and narrow minded people in this world. You'll never please them. They're so unhappy, they have to spread the misery around to make themselves feel better!
Stay strong, stay true to who you are, and feel lucky to have folks who support you.
2007-02-14 23:43:18 · answer #9 · answered by FTW 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
aww sweety your brave honey most people don't have it like that, mostTG's i know have a hard time a very hard time. i wish you the best of luck honey.ohhh look at my question on the lawyer in drag haahaa
2007-02-14 23:08:23 · answer #10 · answered by ♥lois c♥ ☺♥♥♥☺ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋