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I have had a REALLY bad experience in my last relationship....we were together for 12 yrs....& Married for 10 yrs.....
I was cheated on...abandoned with a toddler & a new born....to have him come back with a pack of new promises...that I believed...only to have him do it to me again....

It FINALLY took him hurting my daughter in order for me to get him out of my life....

I was single for 3 yrs. until I met a man last yr. that I have started dating....he is younger then me....ALOT younger then me....I am 33 & he is 21.....I know....age doesn't matter with us...he treats us good...myself & my kids....

I am finding it hard though to maintain a healthy relationship with him....he asked me to Marry him not too long ago...& I have accepted....but for some reason...here lately...we have gotten into a lot of fights..& now he is threatening to leave...I am finding that I have been comparing alot of issues I have with him..with things my EX did to me....like my BF just made a new friend..

2007-02-14 21:49:34 · 5 answers · asked by mysticfairy74 5 in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

who happens to be a female....it isnt that I dont trust him...but I feel threatened by her...I dont even know her & I dont like her....

What can I do to make this stop?

I love him ALOT...& we are planning to get Married....I know he hasnt cheated on me....but I feel like she is a threat to us....or am I the real threat?

2007-02-14 21:51:03 · update #1

5 answers

Dont ever compare hun, what happened before is past and it was someone else not your current b/f.. I can see why you feel threatened by your b/f relationship with this girl best thing to do ask her over the 3 of you have dinner, you will know if she is a threat give her a chance, if you know for sure your b/f wont cheat then dont worry, its bringing back old wounds b/coz what your husband did to you, and you havent properly got over that....

Tell your b/f how you feel in a non conflicting way, he will understand if you explain it to him, your just feeling a bit insecure this is whats causing the fights, its only natural after what you have been through, you need to face those issues and get them out of your head for good....

Dont let your ex's actions stop you from moving on and being happy, he is the one with the problem not you, you have nothing to lose in going for counselling for this help is there and sometimes sounding off at a stranger helps....

Good luck hun hope it works out for you.....

2007-02-15 00:06:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You must fix your insecurities before you can expect him to help you. I don't believe that this is the man for you. You will need a man who has TONS of patience. I know I have one but I went through alot of hopefuls before I found him. We are not married even though he has asked, but I am not in a hurry. I am 15 yrs older than him I am 40 he is 25.marriage is for life or should be. Make it with your best friend because in reality it is you two against the world! he is the only thing I need to get through whatever life throws my way Good or BAD! Good Luck!

2007-02-15 00:21:11 · answer #2 · answered by susan 3 · 0 0

if i could give you an advice,i think this guy of yours has no real intention towards you.he's just taking advantage of your need for a male in your life and definitely becos he's a lot younger than you,could cause him to want to shelf you any minute.all women need men around them,but i could plead with you not to go for this one,cos he would cheat on you and make your life more miserable.
definitely,you will get a good man,but you also need to let go of the past and all sour lemons should you use to make sweet lemonade.dont go for him and yours will come.

2007-02-14 22:28:23 · answer #3 · answered by bamboke 1 · 1 0

i guess you never really moved on.. thats why.. i had an experience quite similar to that. i took some time off. . then i found out that i didnt really move on yet. i was blinded. just move on. things will be just fine. =) goodluck

2007-02-14 21:58:57 · answer #4 · answered by Gravity. 2 · 0 0

get counseling maybe even a relationship counselor and good luck >:D<

2007-02-14 23:22:42 · answer #5 · answered by clg 2 · 0 0

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