Last night I made a dinner that I thought my husband would like, and I got a bottle of bubbly and a card for him. He arrived home from work, changed into his pyjamas as usual, ate the dinner, drank the bubbly and then announced that he's not sure he loves me any more.
Can you save a marriage if one partner is giving up on it?
2007-02-14 20:43:18 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Yes, there is hope. A year ago i might of not been sure but with support from friends there is hope. If you are willing to work at it. cause he won't be to much help. my advice is if its worth work to improve do it!he will either change his tune when he sees you tring to save the marriage or theres more to the situation. just be strong its going to be hard. but don't give up. it all depends on you, how do you feel? do you want it to work? good luck and best wishes. from a friend;)
2007-02-14 21:00:49 · answer #1 · answered by cherish 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ditto. (to talking about it).
I hate to vent on your question, but you can't expect a dinner or bubbly to save a marraige. And I'm also tired of hearing people saying "why don't they love me for me", when they gained a bunch of weight, or got lazy and stopped talking or doing the things that got your mate in the first place. If he's worth it, he maybe (in a insensitive guy's way) is discouraged that something has changed and he's missing having what once was. Maybe not, but I'm tired of people jumping to conculsions when they hear one side of the story and automatically think that a guy must be selfish or not trying. Yet, women have made it hard for us to be honest and open when so we're afraid to say anything because women take offense so easy. We got issues too, but the point is we have to do it together, and someone has to initiate the right communication. Dinners, flowers, dressing up in lingerie, washing the car, or other little favors or gestures don't cut it, people. Honest communication, sincere compromise, and compatibility is what we need. The problem isn't that he didn't thank you for the dinner. There are real big issues here that cant' be explained away with " what a jerk!"
2007-02-14 20:59:19 · answer #2 · answered by You have 22 characters 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats a bit insensitive to announce something like that on Valentine's day. Notwithstanding that, if the marriage is to survive, you have to talk to him, and find out whether there is anything that can be changed or improved to invigorate the relationship. Once the problem is identified and clearly understood by all, something can be done abou it. However, he has to put in some effort as well to make it work. If he does not want to, then the marraige is in real trouble. In short, you have to have a good talk to him, at a time when he is not pressured or in a hurry. Good luck, hope it works out.
2007-02-14 20:55:42 · answer #3 · answered by Michael T 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband has really spot-on timing doesn't he? What a jackass. If what he says is true then it looks bad for your marriage. However, it may just be that he is bored and wants a change, this doesn't mean he doesn't love you but it may mean that your marriage needs help ( if he agrees ) or maybe a temporary separation. Sometimes this is all a person needs to make them realise that they are being stupid and start making an effort.
I think that your husband is taking you for granted. Eating dinner in his pajamas when you have put in so much effort is very disrespectful. You may want to lay a few ground rules and certainly dont let him walk all over you.
I hope he's worth your time, because sometimes it's best to just cut and run.
2007-02-14 20:51:32 · answer #4 · answered by penny century 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Difficult. Try to establish if he has given up on the marriage 100% or would he be prepared to go to a marriage guidance counsellor?
Try to establish what has brought this on or has it been brewing for some time. Try not to upset yourself when asking the question but try to get your husband to open up. Has he met some one else or does he think he loves some one else. Is he depressed may be.
I think that he said he is not sure he loves you any more there is some room for negotiating what he / you wants / needs out of the relationship.
If he had said I don't love you any more that would have been a more final statement.
Try talking with him about what is going on in his mind with his feelings. Explain that you don't want to give up on the relationship or him without at least finding out if between you by conversing you can put right what might be wrong.
Good Luck - hope all works out - Treat yourself today
2007-02-14 20:53:57 · answer #5 · answered by Jewel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh no~!! he said that?? unbelievable~!! ouch~! men..oh men..!! but don't panic!! first try to analyze the situation... what do u think made your husband say such a thing to u? do u both have a serious problem? is there a third party involved in your relationship? and... the most difficult question of all > what wrong did you do (ifever there is)?...once those questions are analyzed, it would be easier to come up with solutions.. and the key is always to compromise.. About your question, Can you save a marriage if one partner is giving up on it? < of course u still can, becoz you didnt give up yet. it is only when both of you give up that marks the end of everything... but then again, every end is a new beginning as what people say. ^^v
2007-02-14 20:52:27 · answer #6 · answered by patakalangko 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would take a lot of effort but yes you can save a marriage like that.
My sister was in a similar situation and we all blamed her when she held on to the marriage no matter what. But we all were wrong and now it's all forgotten and she lives a happy peaceful life again. But it took her some searching within herself first to see what made him give up on her, she tried her best to fix any flaws she found and then she approached him again in a different way.
2007-02-14 20:48:45 · answer #7 · answered by rinah 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you cant really save the marraige if he isnt willing to make any effort at all. Sounds to me like he is a totally insensitive prick, so why would you even try?! If he can say something like that after you have gone to all that trouble to show how much you love him! Dont bother, go find a man that has a heart, actually his attitude points to him having an affair really.
2007-02-14 23:04:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well that not very nice on Valentines day. Try and speak to him and find out why he is feeling like this. Maybe you two need to spice things up in the relationship, eg go out for meals, go to the cinema, just a few things that you both like that is not in the house. Maybe things are getting the same old and needs a change. Its hard but you have to try and work through this patch you going through. The rough patches are the worse for relationships but working at them can help.
Good luck i hope you two can work through it.
2007-02-14 20:52:44 · answer #9 · answered by Pinkflower 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh geez. I'm sorry. But if he' s not willing to work at it or seek counseling, you really can't MAKE the marriage work. That is something both people have to be equally invested in. And you deserve that from your partner. Sorry to say, but it may be best to just let him go. You may find it was the best thing you ever did when you find happiness again someday. And believe me, no matter how much it hurts now, you will find that happiness again.
2007-02-14 20:47:50 · answer #10 · answered by Ms. M 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋