our parents arranged this..we are gonna get married by april,im in india and he is in dubai..i dont know wat to do???we have an age difference of 5 yearz..please help me...
2007-02-14 20:15:33 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Run Katty Run!! If you marry this guy,you will be unhappy the rest of your entire life. Believe me, i was in your place and it took 22 yrs to get out. You deserve happiness Katty. If you can get out of this arranged marriage,do it NOW. Good Luck..
2007-02-14 20:20:30 · answer #1 · answered by Shortydeb 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't know a whole lot about your country's social cultures. I'm assuming that such things as arranged marriages are much more common there than they are in the west. I assume the reasons your parents have for making this arrangement is because they believe your fiance would make a good financial provider for you and any children you may have in the future. While that's admirable that your parents would care about your financial future they should also be concerned with your own happiness and I can tell by your question that you wouldn't be happy in that relationship.
Personally I wouldn't agree to the marriage. If I were you I'd wait to get married to a man who will be attentive to your needs and reciprocate your feelings for him. After all this is about your life and your future and your parents shouldn't be deciding what is best for you... only you can decide that.
2007-02-15 04:35:41 · answer #2 · answered by RaisedByWolves 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look at the big picture...do you want to stay in India? Is he rich? You can live a comfortable life. Have some kids, divorce him and he will have to pay you. 5 years is nothing. You are lucky he is not 15 or 20 years older. If you are happy with your social standing in India and do not mind that your parents will be angry with you for a long time and feel you can make a living in india when your parents make you leave the house, then do not marry him.
2007-02-15 04:20:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out of this situation! How well do you know this guy? It sounds like your in a really tuff position because your parents obviously aren't going to be happy if you tell them you don't want to marry him.
Basically you can't keep everyone happy here, so you need to make the decision - are you going to risk being unhappy for the rest of your life? Or will your parents be temporarily unhappy with you? Ultimately they are your parents and no parent wants their child to be unhappy - tell them how you feel, I'm sure with time they will understand. I wouldn't worry too much about this guy - it sounds like he is already married to his work anyway. Let him know that he is not the right person for you. You never know, he may be feeling the same way you do if his parents arranged this for him.
2007-02-15 05:17:25 · answer #4 · answered by Jane 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
5 years age difference is not much. If u like the guy, I mean appearance and conversation wise, u can give it a try. Today he is workaholic and unromantic because he does not have a girl. Maybe he will change and put all his efforts to make love when u are there. He appears to be good material, u have to mould him and domesticate him so that he puts more efforts to please u.
2007-02-15 07:08:03 · answer #5 · answered by wizard of the East 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its because he is bought up that way.
Your a woman it takes time to get to know one another and grow.
The difference between Love and Arrangement marriage is that in Love marriage you have spent time and have formed emotions with thta person and in an arrangement,its a family who selects the person for the marriage you make a choice or are given no cchoice to make.
Your query reflects you have no choice given,but as an asian woman if you think you dislike this guy speak your mind to your parents.
It takes time for a man and woman to get organized ,romantic and expressioned only after certain span of time when lived to gether.
Don't get paranoid,its nothing to worry,take it as it comes,but remenber always,get yourself active after marriage like participating into activities of your like or take up jobs af your choice,do make sure to mention this to your parents and in laws to be only then it would be to your interest for this marriage.
Make sure your work and get your self financially secured because this is what most of the women don't do after their marriage.Give it time all I would say.
2007-02-15 07:39:03 · answer #6 · answered by Dipi s 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think parents have a right or say so but it might be ur culture. its good that he is working, u know he can support u and a family, but if he is not romantic oh hell naw. who actually wants to be with a man that seems as if he doesn't care. most people get worst when they get married...... look out girlfriend and age is only a number and it aeems as if u too are in different areas right now so their is no affection or intimacy at all, he could get used to that.
2007-02-15 04:51:56 · answer #7 · answered by cute_dimples2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Question is "do you love him?" if you do,call him and talk to him. from there you get to know about each other thereby teaching him how to be romantic etc. arranged marriages are not the best but if you guys can work it out,it would be better but if you dont love him,please dont waste your time there.call both parents and let them know your mind. GOOD LUCK.
2007-02-15 04:44:57 · answer #8 · answered by bussy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not have to marry this guy. I dont care if it is arranged or not it is your choice who you want to marry and if it were me i would not marry him as things would only get worse. If need be you may have to move out of that country to get away from all of this legalistic religious crap, You need to break it off with this guy and move on with your life without him in it.
2007-02-15 05:57:17 · answer #9 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
arranged marriage at this times? wow! well, it in your culture.
don't worry about the age difference, 5 years gap is nothing.
if you like the guy but just having problem with him for being workaholic and unromantic. you can talk to him and tell him about it. my husband is a workaholic and lacks romance, i've learn to live it but i've told him that so he could improve. though it's his nature, he tries his best to be what I like him to be.
2007-02-15 04:49:45 · answer #10 · answered by shekinahjireh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋