ok.. so i have just found out my husband has been texting my friend, normally i wouldnt worry but they are planning on meeting up and going for a couple of drinks together, my friend showed me a text and he has said to her he wants some fun and is up for anything, should i be worried. Although i have fallen out of love with him it hurts that he might cheat on me with a friend, should i keep quiet and see what happens or ask him about it ???
2007-02-14 20:04:13 · 33 answers · asked by sammy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
my friend isnt playing me she has been totally honest about the texts and has even shown me what he has been saying
2007-02-14 20:09:08 · update #1
although i had feelings for someone else, i never went out and done anything about it
2007-02-14 20:31:24 · update #2
I would be concerned that a friend is agreeing to meet up with your husband without you. I would ask him what he's playing at.
2007-02-14 20:07:31 · answer #1 · answered by flyingconfused 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello,
Hey come on! if your friend is so honest with you, and your husband wants to cheat on you and the love you have shared with him, it's now time to be honest right back at both of them, would your friend make love with your husband, yes? well get in there first and let her know his lovemaking isn't worth all his soggy mess, in her underwear, back of his car, or even a hotel room. and if he does, and you find out that he has been inside her, tell her your friendship is now over and you will see her not just in the divorce court but in hell too. you don't let your friends make love with your husband, but it's ok to love your friends without taking all your clothes off....
Tell him now, that your friend has shown to you what his text messages say, and then ask him why, and does he think you're all uglied up now, be honest with him, it is now very likely you are going to lose him anyway, so don't make it easy for him. No Honey, don't wait til it happens, it's too late then, cos if he sh*gs her and likes it, he will want to sh*g her some more. you are not going to have the same fun with him ever again, and as you say you have fallenout of love with your husband, 2 things rise up now. first, tell him you fancy your friend too. but he is NOT joining in, and then that your friend has fallen in love with you, and WoW! what a lover!! and he is so out of it.......find his phone and hide it, your divorce lawyer may well be able to use it, do anything but keep him and your friend advised, hat you are going to stop their fling, or end up single and rich, because you will hit him for everything...........have fun though! .... Tony M
2007-02-14 20:32:32 · answer #2 · answered by tony m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are feeling jealous. You say you are not in love with your husband, but that it hurts to think he might cheat with a friend. If he cheats with an enemy, would it hurt less?
If you are not in love with your husband, that is a bigger issue that who he may or may not be cheating with. If you are not in love with him and your needs are not being met in the relationship, and most likely his needs are not getting met either.
If he cheats, he is not cheating on you, it's nothing personal. He is dishonoring himself by being untrue in the relationship.
What about you? Why do you stay in a relationship when you are not in love?What are you getting out of the relationship? Financial security? Health insurance? Children? It's okay if you stay, but it is helpful for you to know why you stay.
Should you worry? What do you stand to lose if he has an affair with your friend? If you stand to lose something, then you may wish to share what you know from your friend and ascertain the threat. If you are only feeling jealous but have nothing to lose, then you may want to let it go unless you prefer a fight.
There are no shoulds here for you, only possibilities. You get to choose whether or not to worry, and what to worry about. No one else has the right to tell you what you should do. It's up to you.
Kind regards
2007-02-14 20:27:39 · answer #3 · answered by teach_empathy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your friend already knows about YOUR crush on the other guy and considers your husband fair game.
She is showing you the text stuff so it looks like your husband is the pursuer. Then she can steal your husband and remain friends with you.
You have only been married for six months and it sounds like your marriage is going down in flames.
By all means discuss your feeling with your husband and be sure to mention the other guy you have a crush on.
Don't bring any children into this train wreck.....
2007-02-14 20:19:42 · answer #4 · answered by Red 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Am shocked u hav fallen out of love with ur husband.. why?Maybe this lady friend had noticed that and u know what maybe she is trying to rebuild your marriage... By showing u this texts is just to c wherether u can jealous of it and if yes u r.... then part of ur heart stil wants 2 b with him. Even the hubby he might b doing that deliberately cause he stil needs u... plis do consider ur feelings 4 him . I gues u stil have a thing 4 him . really if ur friend ever wanted to lov ur husband... she was never going to show
2007-02-14 20:33:57 · answer #5 · answered by Mama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you should be worried about it. He is your husband so whether you have fallen out of love with him is irrelevant. Both of you have made a serious commitment for life. Being "in love" seldom lasts for life although true, deep love often does. You should ask him about it, not keep quiet. You have the right to ask questions about things which affect your marriage.
2007-02-14 20:27:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't worry about the loser husband he is already a rite off, I would be asking what kind of a friend you have? If they were truly your friend they would not have even entertained a text message suggesting such things but would have known where their loyalty was and told him immediately where to go. Move on dear and leave the dregs to your so called friends, she will only be getting your seconds anyway....
2007-02-17 02:10:07 · answer #7 · answered by Dr Paul D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I once had a friend, we were so close, just like sisters. She told me one night that my boyfriend had 'come on' to her and the things he had said to her. It all sounded odd to me as my boyfriend wasn't the type to play around and the words she used sounded alien.
Found her out as a liar, she apologised and said she was jealous that my relationship was so good.
From that day I haven't seen her. Be very careful that you aren't in the same jam. Could your friend have gotten hold of your boyfriends phone? Make sure you are certain before you dump him - If you believe your friend then, ask your friend to text him back arranging a date and then see what happens.
2007-02-14 20:43:29 · answer #8 · answered by 2dog 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u should identify what you are feeling, is it borne out of hate or love? but u already said that you don't love your husband anymore, which is a deeper problem. perhaps u should worry that u are not in love and yet u are with him, or that u are not trying to work out your relationship. sometimes marriage takes work, and the best way to start is by opening the lines of communication. talk to him on a matured level. u don't get anything by keeping quiet.
2007-02-14 20:16:18 · answer #9 · answered by bellybutton 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should be very worried, my first husband had an affair with one of the girls that had been my bridesmaid, so don't think that just because you are friends that it will stop her from being with him if she wants. People are selfish, and they will take what they want and not think about how much it would hurt you.
2007-02-14 21:53:39 · answer #10 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋