Why am I jealous?

Question

My ex is ignoring us. I think he is involved with someone, but has not told me. It is Valentines day, and he ALWAYS gives the kids treats. Not today. Not even a call.
He used to visit the kids and I every day after work. He would eat dinner with us, tuck kids into bed then him and I would watch a movie, then he would go home.
For the last 2 weeks, he has been grouchy around us. Snotty tone of voice and being bossy.He hasnt been the same. (I have known him for 20 years)
For the last week, he has not returned our calls or come over to visit. My children are wondering why their dad isnt around, and they are sad.
As for me, I feel really empty inside. We are not together, I dont want him as a husband again. But, I am feeling jealous. Nobody has said he has someone new, but why would he phase us out? Its Valentines Day, which is really special for him and our daughter.Its his life.But why does it hurt so much?

Next day now... I have come to the conclussion that those feelings are just the feelings that I never felt went we seperated. He was always around, so it was almost like we never parted. Thank you to all who answered me last night! All your answers combined and filtered really cleared my head when I was down! ♥

Answer 1

Because no matter you will always always always love him, he is the love of your life! He is the father of your children and even though a relationship or marriage between the two of you may not work out or be possible for whatever reason, you will always love him it's normal hunny! Just make sure you don't let him get in the way of you moving on with your life and meeting someone else that will truly make you happy! Good luck ♥

Answer 2

Sounds like you still love him. You need to see someone else. He will not like seeing another man with his family. Do not show him you are upset. Why do you still watch movies with this guy? It's like you were spending your nights with him. At this point you must move on. You would not be jealous if you did not want to be with him. You have to be honest with yourself. You want your family. You got to win him back. Or get over it. Do not put the kids in the middle. You are going to be phased out... your not his wife anymore. He owes you nothing. Just let him visit the kids alone and get away from him. Your only hurting yourself.
Again fight for what you want or let him go. Do not give him your time. Move on and start dating someone new. It's going to be hard, but I do not understand why you would stay so close in the first place. Move on and if he loves you ... he will try to get you back.

Answer 3

Well, it's a change. A change in your life, your routine and what you've gotten used to. Change is hard, no matter what form it comes in. And perceived rejection hurts too. Especially when you've got kids to think about. I can only imagine that it hurts you that your ex is ignoring your kids, especially on this special day. Since he is your ex I'm sure that you can accept him seeing someone else, but it would be nice if he could atleast be decent and upfront about it. Not deceitful and not ignoring you all or being rude.

Answer 4

I now what you assert.. That does suck so badly, yet you even ought to imagine (even although i'm efficient you do not opt for to take heed to this, yet I saved questioning this even as i become attempting to get pregnant.. a minimum of you do have a touch lady.. there are such extremely some those which have not even had one youngster yet and attempting! that is how i concept in any case...) yet I DO thoroughly comprehend that you opt for to enhance your spouse and children. We tried for precisely twelve months ( A twelve months!!) to get pregnant and not in any respect some thing occurred. It positioned rigidity on our relationship and he purely began combating with me for no reason in any respect.. yet after a twelve months it did take position and now I take a seat right here 8 months pregnant with yet another boy! (I actual have an 8 twelve months old son already...) it is going to take position, it purely takes time.. notwithstanding the time can take continually! I had that little jealous feeling the finished time.. i become continually questioning in my head, why won't be able to it is me, too! yet i become continually chuffed for them, I purely wanted it to be me, too and some human beings receives pregnant really uncomplicated, like I did with my first one.. then you see all of those young ones and druggies getting knocked up precise after giving delivery.. it truly is what makes me ill! How lengthy have you ever been attempting? If it isn't lengthy, then you would get pregnant quickly or have a touch thoughts to pass.. what's loopy, I wager if we did not opt for yet another youngster so badly, we would have were given pregnant so actually! We stop attempting after about six or seven months not uncomplicated and prevent questioning about it and it occurred some months later.. So, do purely not supply up! :) ---------------------- Oh, I actual ought to invite you.. Is it more beneficial sturdy typing like that with all capital letters on the start? I not in any respect understood that.. i am going to style 80 5 words a minute, yet that ought to take me continually! lol..

Answer 5

ok let me get this right... so he woudl come home every day ahve dinner, tuck the kids watch movies and then go home... ummm... basically u wanted kids to have a father figure, but he is getting nothing out of it, sure he might enjoy spending time with kids.. but he also has 'other needs' and you can fill those needs by sitting watching a movie on a couch...

Why does it hurt.. well becaus eur now getting the taste of what it is like to loose him, basically uptill now he was ur man without the sex... and that sucks...

look if ur feeling jealous.. then it means there is a spark there, and if there is a spark then perhaps you shoudl apologize to your ex.. to treating him this way and ask him to consider taking you back... i know it sounds harsh.. but you really ahve been taking him fro granted!!!

Answer 6

Find a replacement. It's your duty as a mother to provide a father for your children. Obviously, your ex is not cutting it. Why wouldn't he come around? He has needs. He has his own life. Let him live it. You need to find a suitable man for your family that will be a little bit more permanent than your ex. Otherwise, your children will grow up without a father. Just remember, before you blame everything on him, you're the one that chose him to be the father of your children. You're equally to blame for your woes because you did not have the ability to perceive your ex for who he really is.

Answer 7

maybe you have to accept the fact that maybe u shoudn't be together. or maybe he has a gud excuse why he didn't make it for valentines day. maybe you both should move on with your own lives.
that everything won't be the same as it is before. what you feel about jealousy, the mere fact that you don't even know if he's going out with someone.... its a mix emotion, your feelings for him won't disappear like a snap because before you both have gone this far... you have memories to keep of him.

Answer 8

it is sad for your kids, but you probably feel that way because you haven't truly gone on with your life and you need to to be fulfilled and not care anymore what he does in his life. Its hard to have change in your life and it felt safe to still have him around. You should always care how he treats his kids, though. I hung onto my ex for too many years and its not healthy, it makes it so neither person goes on with their life. If you start to just do activities in your life that you can enjoy, through it you will really meet new people and feel fulfilled. Once you feel fulfilled and busy in your life, you will not care what he does and won't feel jealousy. Do things to raise your self-esteem and you will be surprised what great things can happen in your life. I know, I've been there..

Answer 9

Probably because deep down you still love the man, and yet you don't want him to be your husband. Sounds like you are a little torn at what you want. Keep doing the soul searching and the answer will come

Answer 10

Try to meet with him and resolve what ever in your heart