why does my friend verbally abuse me? constantly calls me dumb, loser. what does she get out of it?

Question

My friend calls me dumb, stupid, the weakest link etc, today I told her 4 the 1st time, what do u think? FAIR?
she text me today and called me a dumbass that always gets fired from my jobs. she asked that i get fired from my current job cuz getting fired is what im good at, she said. I text her back & i said, " they wont fire me at my present job because they only fire people who flunk out of junior college". In other words, I told her indirectly she flunked out of junior college, which is true. she never knew that i knew that, her family told me that once at a barbecue. that was the first time i stood up to her after years of being mentally abused and attacked by her for no reason. she has called me loser, stupid everything etc.. so i just got fed up.. DO U THINK it was a good burn? and she deserve it? she also told me my college degree was worthless many times and that i was a dumb loser....

Answer 1

Well two wrongs don't make a right, but yeah she really had that coming! But she probably abuses you verbally becuase she feels so bad about herself, and calling you dumb makes her feel better. Sad but true.

Answer 2

Base from your story here, I presume that your friend is really unhappy with herself. Until she even dare herself to abuse her friend verbally like she does to you now. There is something missing inside her soul that she even cannot contemplate and acknowledge what it is. There is something in her that she cannot explain and she doesn't know what it is.... that really eats her out gradually.
Something she experienced from her childhood made her the person who she is today. The way you treat people is most likely the way you were treated before in your childhood. It is like a chain, a domino effect.... You have to be very careful and aware for not getting sucked in the same hole.
Your friend most probably had received a mental abuse from her parents or whoever they were when she was child and younger. This is the main thing that most people don't know about child abuse that the way a person treat others is most likely he or she was treated before in the past.
Maybe you can help her a bit in this case. She is obviously unhappy with herself. And as everyone knows that unhappy people unconsciously like it when everyone else unhappy. There is sort of like a bitterness in people when they see someone is happy and fulfilled. Misery always loves company. If you know what I'm talking about here....

Answer 3

The simple answer is that your "friend" abuses you because you let her!
She doesn't have the right to be saying that stuff to you. And I wouldn't be texting her with any comments, and wondering if she deserved it, I'd be telling her flat-out that I don't deserve to be spoken to that way, and if she wants to continue to be my friend, she'd better show some respect!!

Why do you let her treat you like that? Grow some backbone, tell her you won't accept that behaviour in your life, and go get some real friends. She's not a friend if she treats you so disrespectfully, she just wants someone to take her bad days out on.
I copped all that sort of rubbish from my dad for years, thinking I had to take it cos he was family. I finally got sick of it, asked him not to speak to me like that anymore. He chose to continue it, so I chose to not speak to him. I miss my family, but at least I don't feel like dog doo every day, being abused and told I'm a loser, and useless, and worthless. I finally have some self-respect now, and it's great.
Do yourself a favour and get rid of your so-called friend, before she really does you some damage!
Good luck!

Answer 4

Sounds like you need to unload a "friend" off your back and find some new friends who are really friends. She obviously verbally abuses you in order to make her feel better about herself.
There is no reason why you should just take this kind of treatment. Stick a fork in her....she's done!

Answer 5

Some people joke and call their friends loser, etc. Is she joking? It doesn't sound like she is. You should tell her that you don't feel comfortable with the way that she talks to you and that it needs to stop. If she chooses to continue, then walk away from the friendship. People do this to make them feel better about themselves. She's been doing this for years and you've never stood up to her, she feels empowered by you! Don't give her the satisfaction! You stood up for yourself, good for you! Just don't stop now!

Answer 6

My experience with people like her I discovered loathe themselves and 9 out of 10 of em were verbally abused by someone in their earlier life and sadly, 'displace' their anger from those to unsuspecting, kind people.

And yess people like her deserve at least one great come-back at them to shock them!