I made a lovely Valentine's Day dinner for my husband homemade mash potatoes, rib eye steak, Red velvet cake, and buttermilk biscuits. He walked in the door didn't wish me a Happy Valentine's Day or didn't even have a card in his hand. All he said was is the food ready. I got really upset. I went to kitchen why he was sitting in the living. I voiced my angry. I yelled I'm tired of this year after you do this to me not getting me anything or wishing me a Happy Valentine's Day. I said I have to tell you this every year. I throw the pot down in the sink. All can remember the next thing he was in the kitchen with hands around my throat. We started arguing about the situation. Then he hit me in my eye. I fell to my knees next thing I seen him with a 30 lbs dumb bell looking as if he would hit me with it. I screamed to the top of my lungs. He laughed at me and said no I'm not going to get you anything.
2007-02-14 18:04:47 · 25 answers · asked by Graphics S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is NEVER an excuse for a spouse to become physically abusive toward the other spouse. I know you're not going to like hearing this, especially since I'm a total stranger, but PLEASE keep an open mind to the fact that your husband has abusive tendencies. I'm a journalist and I have done some articles on domestive violence/abuse, and the thing that comes up again and again is women staying with abusive boyfriends/husbands, because they think "He only did it once" or "He said he's sorry and will never do it again."
Unfortunately, those rationalizations are rarely true. Where there's smoke, there's fire. If a man is completely right "upstairs", he would never physically hurt his girlfriend/wife EVEN ONCE, let alone more than once. He would also never threaten her! I'm sorry this happened to you. You did not deserve it. Please remember that, because it's another problem that comes up among women who are hurt by those they love. No matter how much you yelled at him, no matter what you did with the food or the dishes, you DO NOT DESERVE to be physically hurt by your husband! And the fact that he simply laughed at your pain is truly SADISTIC!
Good luck to you! :) I sincerely wish you the best, and I hope you can the help you need. Here are some websites with excellent additional information...
2007-02-14 18:12:06 · answer #1 · answered by scary shari 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, get out. Take yourself to the police and get this on file. You could also go to a woman's shelter and get the help that you need. The violence and abuse always escalates. He's a mean sob who has you right where he wants you--convinced that this is all you deserve when you deserve so much more. You put a lot of time and effort into that meal. You would have been happy if he had just acknowledged it and wished you Happy Valentine's day. A card would have been nice. Sweetie, he is too mean and miserable. NEXT TIME HE GOES AFTER YOU, IT WILL BE MUCH WORSE. THE VIOLENCE ALWAYS ESCALATES. GET OUT GET HELP. The violence always escalates. Shut down the computer and leave. Good luck. If a stranger had done this, you would have called the cops immediately and this man supposedly loves you. He is incapable of loving. The violence will repeat and it will escalate.
2007-02-14 18:32:31 · answer #2 · answered by Loki 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The bum does not deserve you. You fixed him a really good dinner. Now-he hit you-get out of there ASAP! If you have any mark on you-a black eye, etc., call the cops on him-get him arrested. Don't hit him though. And, divorce the guy--quick!!!! If you have any children, get them out of there quick too!! NO one should ever stay in a relationship where there is any kind of abuse. Even if this were the "first time" or he said "i'm sorry", get out of there quick!! Even if it's the middle of the night, wake the kids, get out!! Get a divorce-with a restraining order first-like tomorrow! You have no where to go? Ask the cops-they can help you-go stay in a motel for a night or two or so--on your husband's credit card. Or, you may need to go to a shelter-but stay away from him. Protect yourself-and any kids you may have with him. I wish you the best. Take care. And, Happy Valentine's Day!
2007-02-14 19:02:55 · answer #3 · answered by SAK 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First off, no one should ever hit someone else, so he was wrong, period.
Secondly you shouldn't feel threatened in your own home.
Third how can someone respect your feelings and put you in such a vulnerable situation (i.e. hitting you, i.e. implying possible further physical actions...)
You should leave him. you have a different level of emotion towards him then he does you.
Certainly you shouldn't always expect back what you give, but if "every year" you do things for him but he doesn't reciprocate you have a problem.
A lot of relationships are such that guys forget to do the little things like wish you happy v day or anniversary etc.. its what they do after you mention it thats a bigger deal... forgetting is one thing. not caring how you feel is something that you absolutely have to act on.
Get out, get yourself together.. and move on...
good luck.
2007-02-14 19:22:20 · answer #4 · answered by RainKing 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Uh, you need to call the police or else get the hell out. I AM SERIOUS! NOW! BE SMART! This will not end here. Who gives a damn about Valentine's Day. It's just a day. You should feel special every day-not just on a day when the government and religous figures say you should. PLEASE GET OUT! You are stupid if you don't. I wouldn't feel any pity for you if you stayed. Do not accept any apology, husband or not. It will only get worse. CALL THE POLICE OR GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE! BE SMART! WHY THE HELL ARE YOU WASTING YOUR TIME ON HERE?????
2007-02-14 18:17:27 · answer #5 · answered by buebla 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let's review - you spent the day in the kitchen, then your husband beat you and threatened your life, and you log on to your computer and write out this long winded "question" on yahoo because instead of calling the police, having him arrested for felony spousal abuse, and then packing and leaving, you wanted to share your evening with us?
Not even close, little troll. Not even close.
But keep trying.
2007-02-14 18:23:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Call the cops and report the incident. If you still have visible scars you can have him arrested. You are not in a safe situation. Do what you can to protect yourself but do get out of this marriage for your own well being.
2007-02-14 18:12:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are seriously in danger and it will only go downhill from here. Next Valentine's day may be your last. Leave now!
2007-02-15 08:25:00 · answer #8 · answered by laineyette 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this but you're a dumb @ss for staying with him, he doesn't love you so why would he wish you a happy valentines? I am so struck by women who stay with men like that.
2007-02-15 02:51:51 · answer #9 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why do you stay with him?
That is abuse honey...call the police and file charges on him.
let him know he is not going to get away with it
anymore....you are the one that will be left broken and all alone..he is no good....get away from him. He is proly doing some girl. He sure knows how to push your buttons and thats for sure.
2007-02-15 01:30:23 · answer #10 · answered by Bobbie4u 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋