It was Valentine's Day. My husband gave me absolutely nothing. Not a card, present, nothing. He didn't even wish me a happy valentine's day. This is not the firest time he has been UNromantic. I got him a card and gift. Rather he went up to the fire hall and left me home alone with the kids. I said something but he didn't say anything back. I find myself the one always making the effort in the romance dept. Yet he always will kiss me "goodbye" when he leaves somewhere. Do u think I should have said something to him? I just said "you didnt' get me anything" and he said no. He never buys me nothing special or romantic. He's a total romantic dud. He wont even hold my hand! Is it me? Or is it him?
2007-02-14 17:55:45 · 16 answers · asked by someoneyoudontknow 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's been this way for years, right? Long before you married him. Yet you married him anyway. Then you complain about how he is. Yes he is a total romantic dud and you are a total husband choosing dud.
Stop thinking he is going to change for you. He never will.
So, either end it or stop complaining. Personally I'd get a new partner - he's a jerk. Learn from your mistake and next time don't pick a jerk.
2007-02-14 18:26:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey! I get the samething for Valentines day each year, nothing. LOL
I do not get gifts either. It is just him, do not worry about it.
Just stop being the one that starts anything and he will get the message if you know what i mean. He loves you, but after all these years of marrage he does not have to prove it anymore and some men are just not romanic. Live with it...What i usely do is buy me something and say...Look what you got me...you are so sweet. It is ok with him...so i buy it he buys it it does not matter, you got what you wanted. I have been married for 32 years and can count on one hand the gifts he has got me without being told to do so. H'lllllllllll i am luck i got a christmas present i did not buy, even from the girls. I go to
Big Lotts a lot and get things for Christmas and other holidays all year, when something comes up, birthdays and what not i go to my box and see what i got..at Christmas i put all the things out and pick out what to give to each person...what is left is mine. LOL
2007-02-15 02:23:38 · answer #2 · answered by jeeccentricx2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem my husband is not the hearts and flowers type of guy either, he even told me we could go out to dinner as long as he was home for his favorite show. I wanted to strangle him.
Then I think back to last weekend when I was sick he loaded the wood into the house alone and then went to the store for groceries for the week so I would not have to get out of bed and go out in the -15 degree weather to do it.
As for hand holding I do not think we have done that since our fist child was born 18 years ago. Just remember it is not about the flowers and cards it is about the little things he does do all year long
2007-02-15 02:11:28 · answer #3 · answered by desiree c 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you feel sad or left out and he doesnt do this for you, then you need to emphaize that he is hurting you by not being romantic on valentines day, by telling him so. Tell him you are sad that you dont get a present and you love him. He needs to put out the effort if he wants to keep you. He should never feel so settled in the marriage that he doesnt consider your feelings otherwise he is not showing your the respect he should. Just because you are married, that is not a license to treat the other person like a door mat. Its supposed to mean that you are a partner.
2007-02-15 02:05:10 · answer #4 · answered by oceanqueen1 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's just a day. My guy never gets me anything. You're only upset because you have the idea in your head that he has to get you something just because it's a holiday. I get my guy stuff, too, but I didn't this year. Number one, we couldn't afford it, and number two, he knows I love him and I don't have to buy him things to prove it. He's sleeping now, and even if I got him something, he would still be sleeping now, and nothing would be any different or any better. I'm just happy getting an opportunity to get get on the computer!
2007-02-15 02:23:49 · answer #5 · answered by buebla 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sugar, you most certainly not being insensitive. It's him. It sounds like you've made every effort to do romantic things. Guys...well, a vast majority of them just don't get it. They don't communicate like us girls do. They're not as in touch with their feelings like we are. It's so easy to say that, but it's much harder to believe it. But it's true. Guys aren't really known for their nurturing, or showing their emotions. Some are better than others, but I'm sorry to say you and I both got stuck with the neanderthals of the bunch. But...we love them anyway. Don't ask me to explain why, that one's still a mystery to me, too! lol
I'd say that, rather than get mad at him--as much as I enjoy doing that with my guy!!--try to figure out what language he understands. (It will probably involve some intimate moves on your part!) He may soften up then. Getting mad won't help, because you'll have a fight and be angry for days; you already know he doesn't respond the way you want him to when you get angry. You probably won't get flowers out of it today, but you might eventually. There's always hope!
Good luck, sugar!
2007-02-15 02:11:33 · answer #6 · answered by Amiee H 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That really sucks, and here I am bitching because all I got was a card and a teddy bear from my husband! Have you talked to him about this? He should at least try to be more romantic, but if he doesn't know how much it bothers you, then he won't figure it out for himself. Tell him that it upsets you, but if he still doesn't do anything romantic for you, then I guess just let it go and remind yourself that is just how he is and love him. Try to not let it bother you.
2007-02-15 02:03:47 · answer #7 · answered by hol 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
So, did you marry him in order to get gifts on Valentine's Day? Think of WHY you married him...he was the same person then as he is now. What was the reason you married him then? Obviously he is not the "demonstrative" type. So again...WHY if he is such a horrible husband did you marry him to begin with?
2007-02-15 02:03:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is really sad, here I'll say it, Happy Valentine's Day. Tell your husband what you expect of him, communication is really important. Nevertheless remember that marriages require sacrifices, and maybe this is one that you are going to have to make. However be careful that you are not the one doing all the sacrifices. :)
2007-02-15 02:06:04 · answer #9 · answered by Frank 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
is it really just the question of the ungiven gift or is it because you feel you've been neglected? one myt say that a gift is symbolic of how he feels for you. i guess that we have to accept the reality that he myt not be up anymore to the challenge of makin u feel special. ask urself wats really makin' u feel insecure with his luv? i think the "ungiven" gift is jus the tip of an iceberg... my husband didn't give me anythin' yesterday but what the heck.. the only important thing is that i feel secure that he still luv me by the way he treats me every single day of our marriage..
2007-02-15 02:25:16 · answer #10 · answered by mica_babe88 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋