I hit a girl once. Read my story... Was it justified?

Question

I have an example (and it's the only time Ive hit a woman)

In high school I was playing pool with a friend of mine (Im 32 now). I was ready to sink the ol 8 ball, but then she decided to distract me by waving her stick in my face. I stood up and told her to stop because she was going to hit me in the eye (I got hit in the eyes a lot playing sports back then). I got ready to take the shot again... you know what happened? She pokes me in the eye with her stick. Split second reaction- I cracked her in the side of the head (with my hand, not my stick!). Felt like an *** after.

Yeah I apologized. But even she said she didn't blame me for my reaction and apologized to me too.

You shouldn't do it, but most people understand when I tell that story.

Do you think it was a reaction or something deeper...

I appreciate the input. Actually we both got over the whole thing aftr about a week of feeling funny about the whole thing. I got the idea to ask from another question I read...
And now Im a normal well adjusted all aroung good guy!
Thx again.

Answer 1

I think it was a knee-jerk reaction, and she was being an idiot. You have never done it again and if it was something deeper, you would have by now, and probably alot worse than with an open hand.
I have personal experience with this. Men who are abusive do not stop at a one time, heat of the moment reaction, the violence they visit upon women escalates over time and they are abusive with all the women in their lives.

Answer 2

Any girl that attacks a guy knows she's gonna get hit right back no matter what (this is universal), probably harder since guys are used to applying more force upon each other. You don't need that much force unless she's built like a linebacker.

Whatever gender, anyone who initiates a fight by using any kind of force (the stick in this case, a weapon she used to strike against you) is the agressor, not the victim. Walk away or give due warning first, and if she strikes first, you subdue her in a minimally violent manner and urge her to calm down or you'll call the cops.

You shouldn't feel bad defending yourself since any manner of assault is considered criminal action and in your case, you could've easily called the cops and sued her for battery and assault with a weapon, then slapped her with a medical bill. You came off lucky though, in the sense that she acknowledged her wrongdoing.

But please remember that a man fighting a woman is never on a level playing field, neither physically nor socially nor mentally. We have a diff. way of fighting and many of our altercations revolve around bitter words. Even one slap or two will end the fight on most occassions.

The diff. in gender stigma still remains so this argument could've been seen differently by a crowd of people. Heck, you may get laughed at or ignored but whatever. Avoiding an argument is best.

Plus, some chix are a**holes and will hit a guy first, then wave the submissive-girlie flag later. Remember that for future reference.

Answer 3

Sounds justifiable to me. I was in a similar situation also felt like an *** afterwards. I would seat for it too much, the fact that you felt bad after it happened and to this day means you have some remorse. If this is an isolated incident then I would let it go. The flip side is women are also people and adults. All people should be held accountable for their actions. She should have stopped when you told her, and the fact that she said she didn't blame you for your reactions tells you she accepts responsibility and understands. Again if this was an isolated incident I wouldn't worry too much about it.

Answer 4

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Answer 5

I think it was just a natural reaction. Sounds like she was being annoying as hell, besides you warned her. However, after doing it you definitely should have apologized which you did and she should have apologized to you which she did. All is cool but next time really stop yourself and think before you let your anger get to you because most girls would have gotten seriously pissed and hit you back but probably with a beer bottle.

Answer 6

Justified .. Yes, she hit you and you hit he back .What the real question is is whether or not you would have hit her if she didn't have the stick.......Your answer is undoubtedly NO .....and you have been socially conditioned not to hit women you felt bad......It was a reflex reaction to being struck in the face.......

Answer 7

Just a fast reaction, I would have done the same..I am a girl, and she did it to taunt you, she got what she deserved

We are all EQUAL Humans, if a human hits you, then it's natural to hit back...Being a Woman is no excuse....

Sure people say that it is wrong, but it is self-defense...and I'm sure that they would root for you if it had been a guy..Is it not sexist? To put double standards?

Answer 8

i think it was a reaction and i think you're completely justified, all the women on here who call you a girlbasher or are giving you shi-t for doing it, forget about them. I have never hit a woman but i understand your position and i know you feel bad. As long as you feel bad and you understand it was wrong, everything is ok

Answer 9

You should have hit her. If it were the other way around she would have cracked you. I'm a girl and I'd expect to get knuckled for some stupid crap like that too. Just because you're a girl doesn't give you an excuse to physically injure without threat of getting it back.

Answer 10

It was just a reaction I think ..It is normal under the circumstances you were in ..I would not fret over it anymore since it was long ago ..Besides you apologized ...