My best friend is acting like a total whore. she throws herself at guys. even the 1's she dosen't like. If she knows i like a guy she will tell me that she would never like them cuz she dosen't want to hurt me but then the next day she is making out with him in the halls.She has been pregnant 2wice and miscarried both times. She goes out with guys that are between 21-27 and she is only 15!!!!!!! Help! What do i do???
2007-02-14 17:24:24 · 11 answers · asked by Breanna 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Although she may not trust you again if she finds out it was you who did it, but her parents need to be involved. She may of been molested and now misunderstands physical intimacy. She may be acting out for other reasons. Either talk to her parents or to a trusted teacher. Miscarrying without medical attention may affect her ability to ever have children again. She needs help, whether it be boot camp or a counselor, but she's lucky to have a friend like you who cares enough about her to want to help. You're a good person for sticking by her even with the way she's acting. Good Luck and just try to be understanding.
2007-02-14 19:18:12 · answer #1 · answered by tylw85 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some factors that migh explain your friend's behavior (but not excuse them):
1. This is a girl who is really looking hard for love and attention. When she is with a guy, she gets his attention and affection. Since she doesn't believe she can get these two things by being herself, she "buys" them by trading in her sexuality.
2. This is a girl who may believe that when she has a sexual relationship with a guy, she has power over him.
3. This is a girl who may have been sexually abused or neglected when she was younger.
4. This is a girl who, truly, does not like herself very much, despite what she might say to you and others, or how she presents herself to the world.
We all have needs, and we all try to get them met. Your friend is trying to meet her needs the only way she knows how right now, even though her way is unhealthy for her. It's one of those deals where the more promiscuously she behaves to meet her needs, the worse she feels about herself later, so she finds a new partner perhaps to feel good for a little while, then feels worse again.
How can you help her? You might remind her that you really do consider her your best friend, and that you feel worried about how many guys she sleeps with. You can tell her that she deserves so much better for her life, and that she is a worthwhile person.
Offer to go with her to a clinic so she can get tested for STDs. It is almost certain she has picked something up that she doesn't know about yet.
Look at getting involved with her in a group outside school that both of you might like. Maybe a volunteer group or just a group that does fun things.
At the end of the day, though, she has her path to follow, and you have yours. You can support her and love her as a friend, but it is she who will have to make her choices for the future.
2007-02-18 00:59:41 · answer #2 · answered by Rienzi H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a sit down an tell her how you feel.. that is what friends do.. and let her know that it is not healthy for her to act that way... and it is not healthy for you to be treated that way... and if she won't change her ways, then I would seriously consider a change in friends.... it will be hard, but you don't need her bringing you down... and that is all that is gonna happen eventually..... Sorry.... and as far as her going out with guys that oldm and being pregnant, and whoring around... I would drop a bug in her parents ear.... anonymously though... they have a right to know, and you will be protecting you friend in the long run.... she just don't realize where her life is gonna be headed....
2007-02-14 18:49:23 · answer #3 · answered by Mommy of 2 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ah... guys, the ultimate downfall of chick friendship!
I'll tell you this... it is just a phase. I would suggest telling her exactly how you feel (write it in a letter if you can't say it to her face). She will be mad at you but eventually she will realize what you're saying is correct.
How can I be so sure? I went through this with my bff when we were 14... didn't speak for 8 months after she got my letter. But, finally, she came around, I apologized for being so blunt, she apologized for ditching me and whoring around... and we're still bffs to this day. We were each others maids/matrons of honor at our weddings and I'm going to be the Godmother of her first son when he arrives in June.
Sometimes you have to be willing to walk away in order to really make your point. It sucks and it is hard but know that you're doing the right thing for BOTH of you.
Good Luck.
2007-02-15 05:55:55 · answer #4 · answered by Goose&Tonic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow thats how i was in the 9th grade and the beginning of 10th until my bestfriend told me how it wasnt a good image for me and i realized she was right becuase i started getting un wanted attention from guys so yeah tell her because im glad my friend told me i havent stop flirting but i did tone it down alot ........... This is how my friend told me maybe it will work for you just say...I luv u and I dont want u to get mad but i wouldnt be a friend if i didnt tell u that sometimes when your making out with all these random guys everyone finds it kinda eazy i know ur not like that but thats how your coming across to other ppl so its up to you to take this advice but i only told you because i care .... from there u can take it.
2007-02-15 01:00:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
locate out if she fears the comparable difficulty. Like seek for some tale on the internet, and say to her, "I study the saddest tale the different day, this little lady..." had undesirable genes, undesirable meals plan, something. basically study what she thinks without suggesting something. If she does worry it, say you do too, whether you do no longer, and propose strategies the two one among you'll be 'greater healthy'. Admit to vices, like sneaking a soda each nighttime, or something, so she does not sense as undesirable. Or, invite her on your well-being club, or connect a well-being club mutually. set up an exercising schedule. Say you p.c. to ascertain her greater, or p.c. to get in amazing shape for summer season, etc. If it gets to it, say somebody commented on her weight. Or start up a contest, like Who Can consume No Chocolate For a week? I generally hate mendacity to acquaintances, like abhor, yet my little brother presently have been given clinically determined with diabetes. For the previous couple of years all he needed grew to become into to connect the Marines, and now he won't be in a position to. tell her I"m your new on line chum and say that, in case you p.c.. basically, she does not p.c. those issues amazing now.
2016-10-02 04:11:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you could talk to the guys, since she is only 15 they are setting themselves up for jail time because THEY are adults...
Talk to her parents, they might want to know since their daughter is only a child and doing ANYTHING with an adult male can land them in jail. You also might want to talk to her, tell her that if any of these guys do wind up in jail it will be partially HER fault. Other than that...there's not much you can do about someone else's behaivor.
2007-02-14 20:06:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well don't go at her telling her she's a whore just like that. that will end your "friendship"
do you think that this is a friend you really want? does she treat you like a friend? i've had problems where you consider them a friend because you've known them since forever, but they change and you don't want to ruin all that friendship time. sometimes it's best to let you, if you feel like you can.
but if you want to keep this friend of yours, sit down with her. (one of those girls night out kinda thing) and talk to her.
say "i dont want to offend you but you're acting really bad. i'm your best frien dand you take my guys when you know i like them. it's really getting annoying. and i care about you, i don't want you getting hurt by those older guys." blah blah blah go on and on. if you want. =)
just simple suggestions... hope they help, good luck!
2007-02-14 19:02:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is beyond your control
you need to talk to her parents, your parents, a teacher, guidance counselor, principal....an adult
i think you should hold a conference....have your parents, her parents, you, your friend, and maybe a guidance councelor all sit in a room and you tell your friend what you think of this
and talk about it with each other.
your concerns, feelings, etc.
it sounds like your friend needs major help and fast
first off, it's not healthy to have sex that young
secondly, miscarriage can hurt your body, and risk your ability to ever have kids again...and the fact she has two...she's damaging her body
get adult help, don't play the adult in this kind of situation.
2007-02-14 19:01:06 · answer #9 · answered by kaeh 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well try not to get in a deep friendship with her.
Shes probably selfcontious about herself. Try not to be mean, maybe make a joke out of it. "Gosh, you are despritate, girl"
Sorry this is a tuff situation!
2007-02-16 09:21:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋