i hate them?

Question

i hate my inlaws i cant stand them,my husband claims hes caught in the middle and hates his life and says hes going to die soon from all this, but from my side i dont tell him any complaints his mom on the other hand has a list made of lie complaints with fake stories attached with dramas attacted etc,,,he stays quiet after her lie complaints then he snaps on me out of nowhere when his brain is full and angry. at first he told me that his mom only does this due to something I DID sometime someday meaning from his side its my fault his mom curses insult and harrasses me, still that gives no one any rights to try to get her son depressed and tired of his life he fights with me n sleeps in the other room and shes relaxed then, when he comes home from work its like hes her husband she gives him company feeds him gives him tea then turns the lights off and he sleeps,,what is this?who is this woman?

Answer 1

PLS REFER TO MY ANS. ON YOUR OTHER QUES. ABOUT YOUR MOMMA'S BOY HUBBY!..........GET THAT NOSE RING, GIRL! SMILE!

Answer 2

I think the problem is that woman doesn't respect you. You have to teach her to do it. Whenever you talk to her, talk like a boss would to an inferior. (No, not shouting or insulting--rather with indifference and authority)

Show her (even if it's not completely true) that no matter what she does, she can't get to you.

Use your body language, too. Don't slouch, stand erect like you're some sort of queen.

Tell your husband everything she does. Everything.

If he doesn't believe you , it'd be a good idea for you guys to go out together (and alone) more often. Go watch a movie, then have dinner somewhere and tell him again.

This lady obviously doesn't want to give her son his freedom, and until he pulls away from her, she will keep doing the same things. She needs to see that her actions have negative consequences, otherwise she won't stop.

And this might sound a little nuts, but If I were in your position, I'd get that woman to confess everything when she thought her son wasn't around and get her on tape and then give that tape to your husband. But if you do this, don't be like "Ha, ha, in your face, I told you your mom was nuts and now I can prove it!"
Be like really sad and in a breathy, melancholic voice "See what we've come to? I have to get your mom on tape because you don't believe me" And then leave like you were really offended and you were about to cry, and almost throw the damn tape at him.

Hey, SHE is the one who declared war, why should you be the one refraining to use your weapons?. =)

Answer 3

Sounds like you need to get you and your husband your own place. In laws can be hard. WE are all brought up differently and we tend to prefer our own family versus our spouses. If moving out is not a possibility , why not pick up some of the work load help his mom make dinner for all. Help her with the laundry. It will be hard maybe shes not ready to give up her son. Is the mom married or divorced.? If divorced she may be making up for not having a father figure to take care of.I wouldn't know what to do if i didn't have someone to take care of. I would defiantly start cooking dinner for him. Make them both feel special and maybe things can get better. The mother will appreciate this and see that you are not there just to use her home . And maybe gain some trust in you that you will be able to care for her son as she wishes you did.

Answer 4

shes jealous of you! she wants to be in control of her son! she wants to be the only woman in his life! he is a grown man now and she needs to except that! you are his wife now and she needs to except it! get her *** out of ya'lls house !!! she is ruining everything !!! It will NEVER get better as long as ya'll are all under the same roof! If he still always takes his moms side over you then that just goes to show who he really cares about! I know he should honor and respect his mom but it doesnt seem like she is respecting him! He should also be respecting you, he took the marriage vows didnt he? Its all about what she wants! That woman has issues, its not your fault but she is ruining your marriage! If he keeps siding with his mom you should move out for awhile and see how miserable he is after that! Hes makin his bed so let him lie in it! I know you love your husband but you dont deserve to be unhappy like this! Im really sorry for all you're goin through! Im here as a yahoo friend if you ever wanna chat!

Answer 5

Do you live with your mother-in-law?
Goodness you're brave!
I dont get on with mine either. You need to move away, either with your husband or without him. Show him that you're independent and it will encourage him to be too.
If there's a strong bond between mother and son, then usually the son has a good marriage so you need to remember you shouldnt be breaking their bond, just helping him become an adult and not relly on mummy dearest.
Try things like 'Stop using your mum as a chief and waitress, your an adult!' or 'Your mum's older now, she needs a lot more rest, us living here isnt helping - lets give her space.'
Play her at her own manipulative game.
Good Luck!

Answer 6

you need to get away from this woman keep her at arms length I'm going through the same with my mother law she twisted and evil, my husband and i recently went to the Doctor because of the stress its causing him. your husband also sounds like a bit of a mummy's boy he needs to stand up to her if you want this to stop you need to point out that you are his wife and he is meant to stand by you, point out that not standing up to this woman and telling her to stop interfering will result in the break down of your marriage, he needs to decide who is more important to him the woman he married and claimed to want to spend the rest of his life with, or his mother he could spend the rest of his life clutching at the apron strings leading a very lonely life cause to honest its not you this woman would be the same with any woman in her sons life so don't take this personally. I presume you live with her so my advice to you is to get your own place so that you and your husband can repair the holes that this wicked bitter woman is drilling into your marriage and just enjoy quality time with one another rediscovering why the two of you fell in love and got married in the first place . Good Luck I hope things work out for you and your husband

Answer 7

sounds like you all live together? Oh, god. When my husband and I were first married, we lived with his parents. NIGHTMARE! If he can not stand up for his wife, you need to rethink this. His priority is to YOU, not mommy. If you are living with them, you need to move out. If that does not bring peace, cut her out of your life! If your hubby does not get why you are doing this, then he should shove off. I know this sounds mean, but I have been there. We moved out, moved halfway across the country (from MI to FL). We did end up moving back, but bought our own house. Now, she can some and see our kids, but better be on her best behavoir. She started some chaos about 3 years ago and we cut her off for 8 months. It does get harder to do when your husband doesn't side with you. My husband hates his mother, but we have her around for our kids' sake. But, if she were to cross the line....GONE! God bless you, honey. Good luck

Answer 8

Forget all the petty arguments that's just messes with your mind .As his wife he should be putting you first that is part of the wedding service after all,that you put each other first so make it simple find somewhere to live even if it is only one room move there he has to choice between you and his mum. his role is to love honour and look after you and respect his parents but you must come first. Keep it simple no petty arguments that is how it is ...go for it girl.

Answer 9

Get out, Get a life, Get well gone, Get a new lover, Get some good old fashioned sex and Get a complete memory loss of the creep you thought you loved.

Babe its over, its gone just make sure you do not wreck your life for this half guy hoping it might work.

There are a million ways you can make this better but you have to be strong and get on with your life whatever........

Answer 10

I am exactly in the same boat..only my husband never takes his mother's side. I realised there is nothing i can do to change her, but we have decided to move out..We dont have any kids yet, but she's already planning to quit her job and look after our child one day. It drives me up the wall. When my husband gives me feet rubs then she says that why cant he do it for her? She has a boyfirend...he can do it...My advise is to go on your own. Its for the best.. Good luck

Answer 11

I was married to a mamas boy for 25 years! At first I just excepted it and tried everything I could just to keep peace. When we had children they tried to take over raising them. And it just kept getting worse. My advise to you is if your living with her get out or get her out. Put your foot down and put her in her place. You have to look at it like this: He is her son but no longer her child. She has to let go (a very hard thing to do for a mother) but it must be done. You have to tell her and you have to tell him. If you don't you will be the one that is ripped apart. When my oldest son got married I was jealous of her, I know that sounds weird but I was, I came to terms with my feelings and saw them for what they were. I no longer was needed in my sons life and that was hard to take. But I have moved on and have a nice relationship with her and a new one with my son. Your mother in law needs to be told that she has to back out of your marriage. Your husband needs to be told that if he wants a mommy he don't need a wife. As hard as it is make a stand now because if you don't it will destroy you.