As a VERY ugly girl, how can I try to snag a guy's attention in order to show my personality?

Question

It is so painful to look at guys whom I would really love to get to know, but, because I have the looks of a troll, I feel as if there is no point to even try. I have tried the make-over deal, and the self-confidence pep-chats, but it seems like my brown blob of a face would only attract criminals who haven't seen the light of day for twenty years (no offence to anysuch persons). Even though I am 17, and I will change over time, I still am confused about the age-old adage: beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So, my question and point is this: does this adage hold true to my generation?

Or should I just swallow cyanide pills to quell my suffering?

Answer 1

I would bet that you have some good qualities.Sometimes we are our own worst critic.The adage proves true with any genertion.try and be more positive and upbeat that is a VERY GOOD quality.

Answer 2

It is painful.

Honestly guys can't help it, even if they aren't that hot themselves.

I think that for a girl to acknowledge (acknowledge doesn't mean giving up) she is ugly is much better than to assume that looks, with its plethora of implications (which you must have noticed, and might find to be even more far-reaching--it probably comes second only to power, or things we do not know yet), doesn't matter. That doesn't mean you have to be "comfortable" with it--what am I saying--of course you aren't. It's just that people get way into how one "carries" onself and stuff like that even if they don't really actually believe it themselves.

As for the suffering and how one dies--I hope it's not that urgent, and I think it's up to you to do, think, belief, want, etc etc, ask whether you actually believe it to be painless--I always thought that maybe they only paralyze you and no one could recognize the pain, but I guess there could be worse ways to die; anyways, it would probably be more on the religion related questions if, well, I don't actually know what to say about that...

Now, I feel obliged to clarify--why are some people so nitpicky--that no, I don't want people to be ugly and die. If I could--pretend for a moment I have this godly power, with no side effects, I would make every girl very good-looking; in case you get me wrong, just suppose that I would also be in prison so that I don't get that much of a benefit from doing so, hypothetically speaking. Umm... obvioiusly it's not as good as ideally what you would like to hear; I guess it's a somwhat neutral thing to say.

Answer 3

Speaking generally, the adage will hold true for your generation, but after its population has aged and matured a bit more. Unfortunately, adolescence--it won't end with high school--is mostly about superficial attractions and relationships. As people unsuccessfully date based on superficial reasons, they will (usually) start to realize that personality is what makes a good connection.

Being that you're 17, please realize that the majority of the boys you meet at this point in your life will not be anywhere near your social circle in a few years. So, take full advantage of it! Meet as many guys as you can, learn as much about them as you can, and definitely, definitely don't let yourself get down or angry about the way a guy treats you right now. Men are notoriously clueless about girls and dating. Don't let any guy make you feel like there's no point to even try!
Confidence doesn't come from a pep-chat, it comes from ignoring barbs and snubs from people who put you down to make themselves feel better than you, while taking true criticisms to better yourself, inside and out, into someone that you Love. When you're feeling good about your personality and you're proud of who you are, people can't help but notice it!

I know that all this is easier said than done, but you'll never get anywhere if you don't TRY. Maybe you could start feeling out different ways to get a guy's attention with some people that you don't have strong feelings for, to save some nailbiting and heartache in the beginning.

Lastly, no, you shouldn't ever hurt yourself to try to feel better. :)

Answer 4

honey, trust me youre not ugly and you are just going through a stage. Beauty is int he eye of the beholder and it is not a generational thing. But you see another thing that you wil learn is this - there are always going to be girls who you think are prettier than you no matter what. But these girls dont always have lots of friends and boyfriends because what really stands out, what makes a person looks good is nto their hair or eyes or skin but the way they use what they have to exude their positive attributes. Now, THIS IS THE LESSON HERE: People are attracted to other people who are happy, bright, positive and confident. You cannot TRY to be these things in order to get a guy, cos that is not real. You have to actually work at being these things, by doing things that make you feel confident and happy, and that will then shine through to other people. If you hate yourself now, dont worry u will get over it but u have to work on it by doing things that make YOU feel good! OK one more thing... if you TRY really hard to get a guys attention it shows, and often it makes u nervous and not yourself anyway. So you need to STOP TRYING and just be natural and let it happen!

Answer 5

Some girls do not like the shy/quiet guys, and some do. So you just have to find one that does. Hint: She will probably also act shy and quiet, so don't go looking for a cheerleader. Maybe she hides in the library? Maybe when she sees you, she will only let you see her looking at you for a second, and then look down or away. You have to be very tuned to the situation. A shy/quiet girl will NEVER approach you. She will hope that you will notice her. So, YOU have to approach HER! And you have to do it immediately. And you have to be calm, and not agressive. And you can tell a lot by how she looks at you. This takes time to learn and understand, so start now. One day you will find her. p.s. Being Asian has very little to do with it.

Answer 6

hey girl...Unfortunatly a lot of people judge you on looks alone, which really sux. Don't be in a hurry to get a guy, I'm 20 and only started my first committed relationship a week ago. seriously! Hang out with other friends, let the real you show through, and one day it will happen. Also, Don't try too hard, as this can scare guys off. If you have a great personality and a sincere heart, a guy will fall for that. not your looks :-)

If all else fails, eat a chocolate bar and have a bubble bath :-)

Answer 7

Who told you you were ugly? I was thinking that for many years and finally the Lord revealed to me that I was complaining against my maker, so I stopped. You are beautiful and wonderfully made according to the word of God. When these thoughts come at you just cast them down and say what I just told you. Were you told that as a younger child? The saying "sticks & stones will break your bones. but words will never hurt you" That is a Lie put out by the devils crowd I am sure. Words definately can hurt you. You are still so very young and have a whole life ahead of you. Start thinking good things about yourself and reach out to people who are in need of an encouraging word. The Bible says, What you give you will receive, so when you give encouragement you will get encouragement in return. Ask God to help you, He will. He loves you. You must learn to love yourself.

Answer 8

there are many guys who definetly find the great personality and fun sence of humor very attractive...and especially the way you carry yourself...i am sure you are beautiful...dont be too hard on yourself... what we might think is not pretty...is very very beautiful to someone else...what u might hate about yourself...others admire it..just be out-going, fun, funny, loving and have a great, caring heart....when your young, your looks are only temporary...so dont get used to it because they will definetly change for the better.. :) but remember...you,too, shouldnt go for just looks..havent you seen those make-over shows....they go in all crazy looking then when they have had their make-over they look totally different and pretty.. everyone is beautiful...you just have to find it...find a nice hair style and color, etc. everything fits different on different people..good luck..god bless you



tip : when you feel self consious...the people around you will definetly know.
keep your head high as if you have no care in the world...and others around will admire that..
if you are soooo self consious about a certain part of your body....people around you will know what exactly is on your troubled mind

Answer 9

okay, so you're not "beautiful"-- in reality, few people really are. it's not a curse, and you're not abnormal. Stop worrying about it, and do what you love.

I find that I feel better about myself when I eat right and exercise regularly; not because I feel like I have to be thin to be beautiful, but because I feel healthier.


Guys in high school are shallow. Dating is virtually pointless. Focus on the things that you find interesting. If you're into academics, dive into that. If you're into athletics, focus on that.

You don't supermodel to be successful and loved.

Just so you know, I'm a high school senior, and I do know how you feel. Take heart in the fact that life gets better after high school, and know that someday, you will find someone who admires you for your depth of personality.

Feel better, buy yourself something nice, and don't stress about it.

Answer 10

i'm so sorry u feel that way! i bet you could do your own makeover in gradual steps. go to your nearest salon, and get your eyebrows shaped/waxed. maybe get a cute hair cut, some high lights, low lights, accentuate your face. any professional stylist can suggest ideas to make you look your best. I used to work for MAC makeup and I know a lot about "make overs." Would you feel comfortable with sending me a picture of urself, a head shot, so I could give you more suggestions? You can email it to me, [e-mail]! I hope I can help you!
~Audrina