Virginity is not a joke ..... at least not in the indian culture ... why are you people acting like its a joke

Question

I was reading the answers to the following question: "Is it ok to marry a girl who is lost her virginity to a guy who she loved,but couldnt marry?" .......... and i looked at all the answers that you indians are giving ..... i'm surprised that virginity means nothing in india anymore ... guess what?? ... i'm an 18 year old indian living in america for the past 7 years and my whole extended family lives in america ... and there are about 19 kids from age 13 to 23 in my family over here ......... and NONE OF US HAVE LOST OUR CULTURE ... virginity STILL means ALOT to us .... we have maintained our culture ... i'm not saying that we don't enjoy our life ... you have no idea how much fun we have but at the back of our mind we always remember that we're indians after all .... YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK ... YOU INDIANS LIVING IN INDIAN ARE EMBARASSED OF YOUR CULTURE .... YOU'RE TRYING TO BE SOMETHING YOU'RE NOT AND YOU'RE GIVING OTHERS THE WRONG ADVICE ...... (read other detail that i write)

me and my friends over here were reading your answers and LAUGHING AND BEING SAD AT THE SAME TIME ... ... laughing because you guys are trying to be something you're clearly not ... and SAD because we consider india to be a purer place and now thats not true ...

what i am even more surprised about is the fact that alot of the girls that answered the question i was talking about earlier .... were GIRLS ... if they don't respect their own bodies and virginity ... than who will ... its not cool ... guess what ... if you girls act this way ... then guys in this world will become even bigger beasts and respect you even less ... don't degrade yourselves like this .. especially indian women ... as far as i know... indian women stand for purity ....... grow up girls

Answer 1

definatley agree ....
those people not seen real west , so they r running behind soemthing which is new to them .

its toooooo much common to hear that 1 man have/had 4 wives , that his present wife have/had 6 husbands . Now we can see how complex the relationship of the children :)

Answer 2

I also value virginity for both sexes as virtue, before marriage. I was 29 years plus, when I was married and I was a virgin when I met my wife. I am sure she was also virgin when married. I have two grown up girls. I am happy that they also understand our values. I agree with you, that the old values have lost their lustre among the present day generation. But, they are still respected by and large. We need to do a lot of searching. The reasons for this slide are not far to seek. A kind of churning is tasking place in our society. The influence of the western culture is a major contributor. The girls are the custodians of our culture. With the economic freedom for women, they feel liberated. The society has also not been exercising any control over the boys. Religion seems to have lost its hold over the youth. When there is a movement of drift, I also notice that it is stabilising and a counter movement towards our cultural moorings is also taking place. I have not lost hope completely. Indian society is an intellectual society and we are capable of self criticism. We will not go astray.

Answer 3

You are not an Indian. Indian culture has always thaught to forget the past, act in present and look forward for the future. All you are talking about is the girls virginity. What about the guys?

Although Indian culture respects virginity and teaches to maintain it till you are married, but that doesn't mean that a person will have to bear for life for a silly mistake committed in adolosence. In this very culture 'pavitrata' is praised and 'kshama' is the duty.

I've read the question and most of the answers. Most of the people out there suggested to move on with life and that's Indian culture. What else can you suggest to a girl whose bf has dumped her, betrayed her after having a nice time with her. I think it's you who needs to grow up a bit.

:-)

Answer 4

Dear Friend
India is still as pure as u dream, but the so called indains are drifting thats all. Virginity is very important to a large extent, I come from from a vedic culture background and i know its importance. Even in our culture there has no rigidity as u mentioned, but a woman is revered as the most important person as she is the only life giving entity. Virginity if becomes the sole entity then we will loose what we call as the purity of hear. A woman if judged only on the basis of her past life will only make her more suceptible in the future for abuse. Dont make viginity an issue but abide by u r culture. And remenber indian culture is not any religion but a way of life or in sanskrit - "SANATAN DHARAM"

Answer 5

You are SO Right ... Virginity is NOT a joke!!!

Youths---Let Your Parents Help You Guard Your Heart!
- Why Obey Your Parents?
- Attraction to the Opposite Sex
- The Persuasive Power of Your Peers
- Worthy of Honor
http://watchtower.org/library/w/2004/10/15/article_01.htm

You Can Remain Chaste in an Immoral World
http://watchtower.org/library/w/2000/7/15/article_01.htm

Rather than a social culture, there is a religious 'culture' that holds firmly to the attitudes described in the afore-listed articles. They number in India 25,256 (average count for 2006), or 1 JW per 41,309 of the general population. Not in India alone, there are an avergage 6,491,775 JWs worldwide. Many of those world-wide are native to India, and a portion of those are young & single.
http://www.jw-media.org/people/statistics.htm
.

Answer 6

I couldn't agree with u more man. I grew up in U.S as well and I always end up laughing at the fact that people still think that "desi kids" are still more indian than kids being raised abroad. Just go walk around a mall in any metro on a Sat nite and there is noo diff between kids in foreign countries and there.

I recently got engaged to a girl in India.. so I wouldn't say all kids have gone to hell. There are kids there who can balance the indian/western culture just like she did and I have, but yea in some cases.. there is a "complex" about feeling good about being Indian.

Answer 7

Common yar!Just reading a handful of feedback cant be generalised like that....and please dont compare with US at least.In todays age where hugging,kissing drinking smoking has become a casual life....where to draw a line?Why only virginity is objected?For me globally virginity is a state of purity for all human being which seems to be dieying anyways.
But I am an Indian who is still has culture in spine and is a God fearer and I believe our group was very clear about it and posed NO to sex before marriage.I believe there could be many more people like us too afterall FAITH is a continuation process.

Answer 8

There is something between promiscuity and virginity. It's called responsible sexual behavior.

These cultural rules were made thousands of years ago when birth control and women's rights didn't exist. Children-even adult children- were property of the extended family. Children were married off at a young age and lived with her husband's family.

This world has changed dramatically in the past forty years and trying to micromanage adult children's lives is simply out of touch with the times. Women travel far from home, choose their careers, marry at an older age and usually don't live with their in-laws. They are independent and don't need or want some older person running their lives.

Therefore, it's unrealistic to expect a woman to stay a virgin until she is thirty.
A lot of what you associate with being Indian is simply being from a traditional culture, but culture changes.

Answer 9

In everything there is a few evil thing happened: This is not planned it is accidental: I understand your mind and feeling:

Most of the Indian people thinking that the people in western countries are living as they like: They have social mind and culture: The one man and one woman policy is dominated and prevailing all over the world:

so we donot worry about a few saying and few happenings. This is parents duty to keep and eduacte them good habbits

Answer 10

tell me one thing is virginity applicable only on the indian brides?

most importantly,considering crime against women,if a girl is raped does she losse the right to be married?

yes I do agree virginity..lossing it before mariage is a big deal.no issued about it but can things be as straight jacketed as u think?

is there no difference between commited sex and casual sleeeping around in this case.

lets not call it cool.herein with the question u r referring to what matters most is the reason for the plunge.u understand the culture wrongly if u r considering the rule applicable only on females,most importantly let me be very blunt u lack the sensitivity to think of this issue in the tangent that is called empathy.I AM NOT EMBARAASED OF MY CULTURE BUT SURLY EMBARRASED BY THE WRONG INTERPRETATION OF IT...BY STRAIGHT JACKETING RULES AND SHOULD'S TO AN INHUMANE LEVEL.
IS IT OK TO MAARY A MAN WHO HAS SLEPT AROUND,FLURTED AND BROKEN MANY GIRLS HEARTS IN NAME OF MASCULINITY OR DATS THE WAY MEN ARE..BOYS WILL ALWAYS BE BOYS..?IS IT OK TO APPLY ALL CULTURE ON WOMEN?IS IT OK TO STAY MAARIED TO A MAN WHEN HE HAS A SECOND AFFAIR????ONLY AN INDIAN WOMAN CAN GIVE THIS SPACE AND ACCEPTANCE TO A MAN AND HAS BEEN GIVING IT SINCE AGES.


half of my family is also in us,dubai,and uk by the way.

Answer 11

Indian joke. Which state?