every year my mom gets worse because of my step dad, anyways today/valentines day i didnt get anything from her or my family and last week was my bday, i turrned 14 and no one got me anything only a card from my aunt my 2 gmas and my step sister well my mom told me happy birthday once and that was in the middle of the night she said o devin i almost forgot happy bday, my dad called me and said happy bday but i havent been up there for awhile anyway my mom didnt even get me a card yet when my 2 step sisters bdays and my lil half sisters bday somes around shes all about buying them gifts, and im the one that goes to work with her when i dont have school and i work just as hard as her and IM her kid she treats me with disrespect like one time i was asleep and my baby sister found a sippy cup with water from a day ago in it i had no idea because i was asleep and she was sitting right next to the kid and pays no attention then starts screaming at my and threw the cup at the wall behind me saying get the f*** up u lazy fat a** b**** and ripped the cover off of me...THIS WAS 6 A.M. ON A WEEKEND well I got up and got my sister a new cup with milk while she sat there then I came back and went to lay down (I was in the livingroom) and I got the blanket and she said, don’t even think about going to sleep u lazy b**** I mean come on thats no way to treat me is it? I do everything for her I stay home and babysit my sister so she can go out and party and shell go shopping and buy a bunch of junk food well shell eat all of it and not realize it then blame it on me when I didnt even touch it...what can I do about her?
2007-02-14 15:57:53 · 25 answers · asked by female football player 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
my dad and i get along when i get to see him he is an alcholic and smokes heavily and we think hes starting to come down with cancer i love him and if anything happended to him i dont know what i would do he works all the time and is very protective of me but im not as close to him as i should be im not close to either of my parents actually im not close to anyone except my best friend of 6 years CJ but right now he has problems of his own and cant really help me only support what i do hes older then me by 2 years when im 17 im moving out of my house and in with him
2007-02-14 16:09:14 · update #1
Being 14 isn't easy, and it seems like you may have it especially rough. My advice is find a trusted adult that you can talk to, maybe your aunt who sent you the birthday card. If you can talk to your mom, maybe get her away from the new family and have a heart to heart with her. Tell her that it really hurt your feelings when she almost forgot your birhtday. How's the relationship with your dad? If all else fails, you could spend some time with him.
2007-02-14 16:05:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello Devin.....I want to first tell you that my heart goes out to you! Your mother has NO RIGHT to speak to you the way you stated. NO Mother has the right to speak to any child in that mannor. She may think because she is your mother that she can treat you however she likes. This is not the case! You are definately a victim of abuse here. Please seek advice/help from an adult or relative close to you to help get you out of the living conditions you are in. I personally believe that your situation is not healthy and you should not have to endure the heartache. You are still young and have a lot of growing up to do. It sounds as if your mother is ready for you to be all grown up. Well the reality of it is your not. You shouldn't have to throw away your childhood because your mother is not mature enough to take on her own responsibilities. Anyone can be a parent, but it takes that extra effort to be a good one. I'm sorry your mother isn't taking the extra efforts on effective parenting. Please don't lose site of yourself from her negative emotions. Seek help! If it doesn't come immediently...keep trying. I recommend that if you can't find someone to rely on that you go to some type of local authority. If your mother is treating you this way.....who's to say your other sibling won't get the same treatment. I know there are two sides to every story and I'm not sure I know the other side, but from what I do know you have done nothing wrong. You are not responsible for your sibling....you are only responsible for you! You can always try to discuss your feelings with your mother first, but if that back fires.....immediently seek other advice. If you are religious, I feel the best person for you to talk to would be a member of your church, a youth councelor, or even a pastor. Even if you don't belong to a church, but you are a christian, you should know that you would be welcomed in any facility that has faith.
2007-02-14 16:36:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must tell your other Family members, if they care about you.. then they will know and should know that what your Mom is doing is Wrong, or, your mom is too stressed out, and Life has been hard on her, so She's just found you as a scapegoat to take out all the anger on.
If the Family Members like your Grandma and Aunts don't respond, then you must call Child Support, that is definitely no way to talk to a dedicated daughter like yourself.
try contacting the school counsellor, and they should also have a valid point to make an,d try and solve your situation.
But if you continue to grow around the pain you're in, you might face psychological problems when you're an adult.
2007-02-14 16:08:48 · answer #3 · answered by Ani 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi
Devin,
Frankly there is no solution for this except to just ignore. Why i am telling this because ur 14 and u still need to stay under someone's roof till ur old enough to earn and live ur life.
Maybe u can talk to ur mom , but trust me sometimes it aint work....but u can try...I have experience all this....The only thing u can do is just study hard and try to get some scholarship and move away...
"Absence makes heart grows fonder" Try staying wif ur dad, maybe he is smoking too much coz he is all alone and he feel he dont have anyone. Like ur mom is totally different , she has ur step dad , kids...... So the flow of love won't be the same.
Try staying with him.....if she is gonna say one more word that is gonna offend u , u cant do much coz if u answer back, u have no one protective over there for you. or stay wif ur aunty.... go somewhere peaceful.... i am also one of the person who have been mentally abused by words... i know how it feels.
Later when their old they will have to come back to us.
2007-02-14 17:06:39 · answer #4 · answered by treesha_006 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, SWEETHEART!
Life is so hard without added problems. Being a teen you have the added stress of growth, peer pressure and everything else that befalls youth. Please find an adult to talk to about the situation at home. Your father, aunt, grandma or other relative would be great. If that is not possible talk to the counselor at school or ask her to suggest someone to talk to.
There will be repercussions! Be prepared. Your mom will probably become more bitter and show more anger toward you. She obviously is unhappy, that is not your fault. Only she is to blame for her attitude and problems, she is an adult and if she can't handle the problems she needs to find her own help.
Just remember that no one can make you feel bad about yourself or make you feel worthless unless you allow them to. Keep your chin up and stay strong but, not silent! Get help for yourself.
And in the meantime when you are at work with your mom ask her if everything is ok between the two of you. Ask her if she could treat you with a little more respect and stop calling you names because it really hurts that she, as your mom does that to you.
Good luck. My prayers are with you.
2007-02-14 16:40:10 · answer #5 · answered by Mee-Maw 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See if u can stay with an aunt, uncle, grandparent, or any family member that lives near by if its THAT bad. Try talkin 2 ur mom. If she ignores u, show her and yells at u, yell back. Ur situation sounds kinda bad but not 2 the point of physical abuse. A smack across the face aint a big deal but if its violent punching, pushing, kicking, etc. get up out the house. Dont RUNAWAY, just stay with someone u can trust.
2007-02-14 16:40:16 · answer #6 · answered by John 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your Mom may have her priorities messed up. She may be doing all that stuff for the step sister to impress them. You are her flesh and blood though. Is there anyone you can talk to about this? Is your Dad someone you can talk to, or is he not involved much? Can you talk to your Gma or Aunts? Your Mom sounds like maybe she could be dealing with Depression and need some help. Being 14 can be very rough. If you are carrying on like you say your are there is no reason she should be disrespecting you. Talk to someone and see what they can help you do! God Bless!
2007-02-14 16:11:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you would really benefit from some outside help. Your mother sounds like she is in deeper than she can handle and she seems to be taking her life stresses out on you. I'm really sorry to hear what you are going through. I think that you need to stand up to her and tell her that you are 1) her daughter who needs love and understanding 2) you are not a permanent babysitter. She made the choice to have a family and she needs to live up to the responsibility. If she cannot do that than she is not cut out to truly be a good parent. If there are other factors involved like alcohol or drugs or what have you , you have to release yourself from the situation. Find someone like an extra curricular family member that knows your situation to live with until you are of legal age to live on your own. Your mother has to realize that you cannot be her crutch. It really saddens me top think that she cannot see the error of her ways. Maybe tell her that you had an outside viewpoint of the situation and that most people felt as though she needs to get some help/
Good luck to you and email me if you need any other advice.
2007-02-14 16:41:00 · answer #8 · answered by LAURA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is bullsh*t and no way to treat a child.Are you serious? do you have someone else you can live with? a family member or a friend? i feel really sorry for you and the only suggestion i have is to try and get out of the house and do nothing for your mother so she can realise how much you did for her.Maybe if after a few months she might stop taking your for granted.I know its hard because she's your mum but its for your own good.
2007-02-14 16:08:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe there is a graandparent or someone you could talk to. it seems like even if there was somewhere else for you to stay she wouldnt let you anyways. try talking to her. i kno its probably scary, but when you do, try to pull her away froma nyone and tell her exactly how you feel without getting loud or disrespectful. Dont want anything to happen to you physically. Happy b-lated birthday and valentines day!!!
2007-02-14 17:06:02 · answer #10 · answered by jai1603 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋