can somebody.................??

Question

can somebody say something funny 2 try 2 cheer me up plz??

i had a really bad valentine's day and i really want 2 laugh but cant think of anything funny enough 2 cheer myself up with.

thanks ahead of time!!

Answer 1

i will tell u alot of funny jokes
Two cows in a field one turns to the other and says "moo" they other turns and says "you fcuker I was gonna say that"

two ghosts at the dinner table one asks the other"can you pass the salt please"
the other replys "who the fcuk said that"

how do you make a hormone?
Wipe yer d1ck on her curtains

what do you tell yer wife when she has two black eyes?
Nothing you've told her twice allready

George Bush throw a press conference to announce his disgust at three brazilian journalists killed in iraq he pledges Americas intent on "bloody revenge" when the conference ends his aid says to him "that was a bit strong Mr President" george bush replys "I know but excactly how many is a brazillian"

Supermarket

A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and said, "You know, I've lost my wife somewhere in this huge supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why?" she asks. "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife suddenly appears out of nowhere!!!

Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, 'I slept with your mother!'
The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do.
The first again yells, 'I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!
The other says: 'Go home dad, you're drunk.'


A man walks in the kitchen with a chicken under his arm and his wife is standing there. So, the man says "How do you like the pig I been f**kin'?" His wife looks at him and says, "That's a chicken dumb ***!" The man says, "I was talking to the chicken!"



A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, "If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your
head and kill you."

The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.

He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road.

Once again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die."

The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.

The man asked. "Who are you?"

"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.

"Oh, yeah?" the man asked "And where the hell were you when I got married?"

Answer 2

Here's this joke

It's easy to learn Chinese

Are you harboring a fugitive- Hu Yu Hai Ding

See me A.S.A.P. - Kum Hia Nao

Small Horse - Tai Ni Po Ni

Your price is too high - No Bai Dam Thing

Did you go to the beach - Wai Yu So Tan

I bumped into a coffee table - Ai Bang Mai Ni

I think you need a facelift - Chin Tu Fat

It's very dark in here - Wai So Dim?

Has your flight been delayed? - Hao Long Wei Ting?

That was an unauthorized execution.- Lin Ching

I thought you said that you going on a diet - Wai Yu Mun Ching?

This is a tow away zone. - No Pah King

You are not very bright - Yu So Dum

I got this for free - Ai No Pei

I am innocent - Wai Hang Mi?

Please, stay a while longer - Wai Go Nao?

Our meeting was scheduled for next week - Wai Yu Kum Nao

They have arrived - Hia Dei Kum

Stay out of sight - Lei Lo

He's cleaning his automobile - Wa Shing Ka

Does this bathroom stink! Hu Flung Dung?

Answer 3

Anne i'd be very flattered,yet i'm Married,i understand i'm loved and needed lots,i do ought to attend to Her,and would do some thing for my spouse,She is on my suggestions 24-7,yet as for Her dreaming of me,i basically don't understand,so take care my sweet pal,and would existence deal with you properly.

Answer 4

ok my doors were froze but the back door i could get into on the car but i got stuck trying to go to the front seat i had one leg one way and one in the back and my body trying to get to the front and i gave it up and caught a ride. so i hear by fri it is suppose to get warm so hopefully i can use my car. i drove it yesterday holding the door shut as i drove can't win for losing what a winter were having . hope this made you smile thinking about it brings a smile to my face if i was just like 4 inches shorter i could of made it to the front seat ! what i get for having a small car and being tall but of course i never dreamed the only way in was from the back!

Answer 5

Sorry U had a sad/bad day..... smile!

Read my questions & the answers from the P&S whackos! They were pretty good tonight! That should bring a smile 2 your face!

< hugz >

Answer 6

Roses are red
Violets are blue
If skunks had a college,
They'd call it PU.

Happy Valentines Day!

Answer 7

Dont even get me started! girls look at me like I'm all covered with ants! ((maybe it's because I am)) anyways, my valentine, who i bought fancy things and a new corvette, ended up being a pile of dirty laundry!

and if you want to laugh, watch this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FuYi0yibvk

Answer 8

What is the difference between a job, and a wife??? After 10 years the job still sucks.

Answer 9

Try being married for 16 yrs and 2 kids and not even getting a lousey card!! Thanks! now I'm depressed too. ha!ha! sorry-no help.

Answer 10

I can't think of anything. I'm a little out of it tonight. sorry