I am, by nature, really shy. I'm not used to talking loud unless I'm really comfortable with select people. Sometimes when I am a bit more outspoken or louder around certain people they act like I'm weird. Is it possible to change from shy to outgoing? Sometimes I'm really unhappy because I'm so shy because a lot of my friends aren't, but when I try to be social I feel like I always mess up. I really wish I was more social and comfortable with myself but I'm really not. What should I do?
2007-02-14 15:38:02 · 21 answers · asked by i love love 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
fake it, and then u will believe it,
2007-02-14 15:40:47 · answer #1 · answered by Dawn C 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I know what u mean. I am also a shy person like u and I feel the same way as u do when I try to socialize. I talked about this to my mother and she said that just keep on trying. Just go out there and talk about anything that comes to ur mind. I think u r way too much concerned about urself and thats why u feel that people look at u as if u r weird. Actually u feel this bcause u r not comfortable with this. I have noticed many people who cant talk very nicely but are very social and people actually listen to them. I am a much better talker then them and I cant socialize with people just because I worry too much what they will think of me, how will they react blah blah blah. All u have to do is confront ur fear and one day u will be the life of the party(i really mean it). Just give up thoose thoughts "what will they think? how will i do it? will they talk with me". Dont think anymore(I dont mean dont at all think but dont think too much) just do it and show the world what u have got.
2007-02-14 16:07:28 · answer #2 · answered by mermaid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES you CAN! Or ehm, well you cant.
You CANT choose you personality on a shelf - not deep down. You CAN however choose whatever personality to live out.
In short: You can learn how to appear and act as any kind of personality that you really want to!
BUT - you might find that you are not COMFORTABLE within all of these personalities...
So what does it take...
Material stuff:
Well, first of all, many appearances cost money. Want to be a smartass, you will need ot accezorize like one. Want to be a hot chick, u will need some requirements, and maybe even start to work out or whatever.
On the personal side, nothing is out of range, if you really want it. BECAUSE - WHAT DOES IT REALLY TAKE?
I mean - what can actually happend if you raise your voice in public? In almost any case - NOTHING can and will happen!
Nothing out of the extraordinary that is.
Are you shy or clumsy? Learn to live with it. Its not about the amount of mistakes, its not about how much you fumble, Its how you do it! Its not about how you studder, but what you do when it happends. Its about you deciding that you will want to learn this ability of recovering from you failures, recover from your mistakes. Shy people like you and I, we tend to run away. Hide ourselves in shame and never surface again. Dont! Learn to say (AND mean) whatever. "Ha ha. OK - lets try that again", or anything that makes your attempt NOT over on the first stumble. Once you get that - you will find that learning really catches up...
Remember that your brain will better itself in any field that you train. Being nuclear physics, or the ability to keep a conversation going. Stand in front of 1000 of people or anything. It takes training if your not a natural. But if your not foolishly proud about your mistakes, you will learn.
2007-02-14 15:52:24 · answer #3 · answered by the_02r 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im kind of shy, i mean through out high school and i was kind of geeky, although girls were more socially acceptable then guys were,
I guess you can change from shy to outgoing a few parties and your going to be more comfortable. Although i was never a party person life taught me to be more outgoing because some situations forced me too, But generally your born this way or that and deep in your heart you know what makes your more comfortable.
2007-02-14 15:47:34 · answer #4 · answered by christian_sese 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've always been shy -- I've outgrown some of it, but I am beginning to accept that I was always be naturally just a little shy by nature. Don't try to change who you really are inside. Be true to yourself. Work on becoming more self-confident and some of the shyness will disappear.
2007-02-17 17:20:17 · answer #5 · answered by Chelsea 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you dont have to feel like an outcast. i know how u feel.everyone always come up to me and tell me im so quiet but the only time im really loud and crazy is with my close friends and family. and thats ok b/c my friends know that im cool and that i dont have to be crazy and loud like them all the time to be a good friend. maybe it's the same with you. you can be whoever you want to be. you could always take your time one level at a time for being more social. but remember-you should always be yourself b/c even when you might think some pple dont like you being shy, others do.
2007-02-14 15:45:12 · answer #6 · answered by iNeedhelp 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't change. You seem a lot like one of my friends. The guy never says a word...even to us, and we're pretty much best friends. But still, shy people can be really fun to hang out with. Don't try and change.
2007-02-14 15:45:44 · answer #7 · answered by The12thMan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if i new the answer to that question, i wouldnt be having the same problems as you do lol. but i found that it is really hard to change who you are. thats why i stopped trying a long time ago. i decided lll just have to be myself. and thats why my friends like me so much, because i dont try to be someone im not. theres nothing wrong with being shy, just try to come outta your shell a little more n you'll be fine :3
2007-02-14 16:35:57 · answer #8 · answered by **B-ritt** 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very shy, too. But when I started working as a tour guide, I had to become more assertive. Then I moved to a country where I knew no one and was left to my devices, which made me become more outgoing and open.
You can change, it takes time, you just have to work on it a bit.
2007-02-14 15:41:05 · answer #9 · answered by tamara_cyan 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well first of all..sure you can! start out by just talking to people you dont know and most likely they will love your personality..sometimes a little alcohol can do the trick!!lol i used to be really shy then i realized that wasnt getting me any where so i starting talking to more people and now i have fun all the time!!
2007-02-14 15:44:42 · answer #10 · answered by It's a Boy! 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. You can behave differently, once you have sufficiently observed and analyzed what is taking place in your mind when you hold back. Notice your thoughts at the moment. They will tell you what you think you are protecting by being shy. Once you see that, you will realize you cannot protect it. Surrender to the loss of it. Having nothing, you can be free to be fearless.
2007-02-14 15:45:52 · answer #11 · answered by Nowpower 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋