My 21 year old daughter and I have a long history of issues. She caused a lot of problems in my home with disrespect to me. She also had a substance abuse problem. Unfortunately she manipulated both ends quite a bit and her bio father was emotionally and physically abusive to me so we ended up divorcing when she was only 2. I have been remarried for 14 years. My daughter sent me an awful email, telling me f---you, etc. I hate you, etc, to me. I was devastated. She also tried to get in my home without my permission after she moved out of state. I had no choice at the time by getting an order of protection. I didn't speak to her for 8 months. We are now conversing via email. She did say she was very sorry for saying those things. She gave me her cell phone number and asked me to call her. We had a very nice conversation. Now she sends me an email telling me that her grandmother is paying for the phone and she's not allowed to speak to me using the cell. I am very upset. When she lived
2007-02-14 15:30:48 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
with me she called her father and he texted her all the time. Any insight on how I should handle this? I think my daughter needs to assert herself to the grandmother about this. This is just plain wrong. Thanks.
2007-02-14 15:31:35 · update #1
She's a dependent? I'd say respect her wishes and let her know you love her and you will miss her.
If she is ever going to be independent, she will have to take over her own bills (not have you take them over), and when that happens, she will get to talk with you as often as she likes.
I know you are happy to have her back, but it's only a while longer and she will hopefully figure out she doesn't want to count on other people (including the limitations of grandma). Then you will have your daughter back, as someone that desires only your time.
Blessings!
*edit*
I went through similar things with my daughter and it was painful. She came back many times when she was in need, but it created additional hard feelings for both of us. When she didn't need anything and came back, THAT was when our relationship started mending. And I'm happy to say that I'm very proud of that independent young woman.
2007-02-14 15:43:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do You feel about paying Her cell phone bill? I mean how do You really feel about keeping in contact with Your Daughter. Is it something that you feel You must do, or is it something that You truly want to do? You have Her number, She has Yours. What is Your attitude towards 'reverse' charges? Why did the Grandmother put a stop to Her use of the cell phone? How long were the calls? Who else was She ringing? What has the Grandmother to say about all this?
2007-02-14 23:36:03 · answer #2 · answered by Ashleigh 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they have a regular phone in the house maybe you purchase a phone card for her. At least you could keep talking. I want to say at least you guys are communicating. Do whatever you have to do to keep a relationship with her. My daughter hasn't had a thing to do with anyone in the family for 9 years I can't call,write or anything. Fix this fast do not let it happen to you.
2007-02-14 23:52:26 · answer #3 · answered by phylobri 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a mess. You seem too caught up in your daughter. One of mine doesn't seem to act the way i thinks she should at all times. At least you seem to be on good terms with her. What's with granny? Anyway, your daughter is an adult. Let her deal with things a little. Let her go a little, and you'll feel better. Have some fun with friends to get your mind off of her, and don't talk about her with your friend. Give yourself a break!
2007-02-14 23:45:19 · answer #4 · answered by the ed 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people live wild crazy lives when they're young. It is part of growing up, live and gain experience, though sometimes the hard way. If you feel like you would like to get to know your daughter and she wants to get to know you and be your daughter, pay her phone bill, go see her, show some attention to her.
2007-02-14 23:40:08 · answer #5 · answered by K B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Miss Red,
This phone problem is not a big thing. You two are mending your relationship. That is the important thing.
Could you send her pre-paid phone cards that she could use on any phone?
It might be time to see her, in person. I hope you can arrange it. I wish you well.
2007-02-14 23:43:51 · answer #6 · answered by Charlie Kicksass 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her about this but please try your best to be there for her !!! Never give up on her because she will end up in more trouble then. Good luck !
2007-02-14 23:45:19 · answer #7 · answered by inquisitive 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋