son won't go to school?

Question

please help. my 14 year old son will not go to school, i have tried talking to him about any problems he may be having at school but he says there are none. he has no friends because he doesn't go to school to make any. i am seperated from my husband and due to his new girlfriend phoning my kids and telling them things like " their dad is much happier with her and her son " and "how her son and their dad have fun together and get on so well" etc.... she tells them lies along those lines. when myself and my kids have tried telling my husband (their dad) what she is doing because she denies it he thinks we are lying. so due to all this my kids have refused to see their dad for the last 9 months as he has hurt them badly. this has also caused my son to sort of crawl into a shell, he wont go out anywhere he sits in his room when my 16 year old daughter has friends over and as i said he will not go to school. i am very worried about him as before his dad and i separated he was very outgoin

Answer 1

It sounds like he is just very very depressed and hurt from his dad. Have you tried recording the stuff the girlfriend tells them? If she has stopped since they stopped visiting then maybe if they are wanting to prove to their dad she has done this they can start going again so she will start calling again and get it on tape then. If anything this can get him to dump her or straighten her out (preferably dump someone like that) and work on repairing the damage he has done. If he still sees her and lets it continue and denies she is doing it then the kids know that he just doesn't care and it could be easier to move on. If his dad won't step up and be a father and help the boy then maybe you should get him into therapy. Something is definitely wrong and he won't talk to you, maybe he will a therapist. You will probably have to make him go at first but a therapist should be good at getting kids to talk. I'm so sorry to hear about this, I know it has to be killing you to see your son going through this.

Answer 2

Okay, how could you let this woman talk to your kids over the phone. You should have never accepted her calls. Look what it has done to them. That was your mistake by accepting her calls.

Your son is deeply hurt because of you and his dad. He is going through some type of depression that he may need some counseling to help him open up, unless you can keep on talking to him. You need to either change your phone number or not accept this woman's calls ever again, she has caused enough damage already. You as a parent are suppose to protect your kids from an evil person.

That is why your son will not go to school because he has lost his dad. This is a product of what can happen to a kid when two parents can't make it work and so there is so much drama that he cannot take anymore, to where he just crawls in a shell because he doesn't want to deal with the problems anymore. He is damaged by you and his dad's problems and is very hurt emotionally and mentally. You and your kids should seek counseling as soon as you can.

It is sad that kids have to suffer for the damaged caused by their parent's unwise decisions. So sad.

Answer 3

So, just who is the parent here and who is making the rules in your home. Obviously its not you if you are allowing your 14 yr. old to call shots like not going to school. My first reaction is get the boy into some counseling, outside activities and out of the bedroom. What goes on with his dad and him is at this point is their relationship and your just going to have to back off of that. Let time take its course. You may not realize this but BOTH parents are responsible for the well being of the child and that includes school. Find a netural place without the g/f and solisit his help with the kid. Not going to school will have the authorities on you and the ex if you soon do not get a grip. Set the rules and the consequences and follow thru.

Answer 4

I think all the drama that is going on makes him ashamed of himself. Sometimes kids think things going on in the family are their fault. Maybe if you sit him down and tell him you understand how hard school is but he has to think about his future. If he has any interest or direction he wants to take in life you might talk to him about those and how hard his life will be if he doesn't get an education. Let him know you don't want him to go to school for you or his dad, you're insisting he go for himself. He is at the age he is trying to figure out who he is, don't mention the fact that he has no friends to him that will make him feel worse. Don't talk badly about his dad as much as he deserves it, when the girlfriend calls hangup without talking to her and give your kids permission to do the same. If he was close to his dad he might want to see him but is afraid it would hurt you maybe he could ask his dad to take him to eat just the two of them try to encourage it just to let him know it would be ok with you. I know how worried you are your husband left you with a big mess he created I hope you find a way to put your life and your kids life back together.

Answer 5

He is in depression and you need to get him to the Dr. very soon. Do not let the lady call them and if you have to since the kids refuse to go to dads any more put an order of protection on her to keep her from your kids. I know how you feel my kids dad has turned on them due to his new wife not wanting him to see them thinking he will see me. It's crazy but you got to get him some help soon. Here in Illinois you go to jail if the kids don't go to school. Let him know he don't want to destroy his life over all this and that he is and will be much better then dad became. Good lick.

Answer 6

i'm uncertain related to the lawsuit yet you are able to attempt and press costs against the folk who hit your son. additionally talk with the college vital approximately what handed off to him. tell him you will carry him in charge for the protection of your son. sturdy success. I paintings in a college and bullying is gloomy to declare ordinary. that's perplexing to provide up yet save complaining. Be a squeaky wheel and don't permit up. If no longer something is finished then look into yet another college. sturdy success with this.

Answer 7

No waay, no counseling, don't even think about it... Trust me... Don't work. I am 15 and practically the same exact thing happened to me Oct. 2nd 2005, when i was 14... U need the father back in, tell him how he was an @$$hole with his kid and he should be more part of their life, trust me, that is what u have to do, tell him to shut up his new girl friend, i recorded my stepmom in a phone call and showed it to my dad and he shut her up. Plus, you need a girl in ur son's life, not nessesarily a girl friend, but some1 he can open his heart to, usually some1 a bit older than him, as for me i had a friend of mine who was a girl like 21 years old, a friend since i was like 7, as a back up, everytime something happens i tell her, "open my heart" to her. and in return, this friend would provide conforting answers, not harsh, and he needs lots of hugging and cheak kissing from this girl. Some1 that can b like an older sister, who can drive him around, take him to parks where they can talk thing out, or maybe just her house. He needs to be in a place where if he cries in front of her, not every1 else hear's it. we teen boys dont like to cry in front of a lot ppl. and u shouldn't ask this friend what he complained of, bcuz trust me, if he finds out that u know something that he told this "friend" of his, he will never trust anybody again.

Answer 8

It sounds like he may need a therapist to help him cope. Even if he says he doesn't want to discuss it ...Talk about it anyway. Eventually he may open up. Tell him you wish he would choose not to talk to the woman with his dad anymore. Also...in my state if the child doesn't go to school the guardian goes to jail, not the child. Tell him he could be taken out of your home in this case.

Answer 9

so it is your fault and your ex-hubbys fault for getting divorced. if you didnt want to stay together FOREVER, then you cant have kids. they are the ones affected by a divorce the most. you and your ex should have put your childs happiness first, and hidden you problems from him till he was 18 and old enough to deal with it. ny best friend went form a staright A student to failing school in 6 months when his parents divorced when he was 16.

Answer 10

This is the problem with divorces, the children often pay the price. This is not very uncommon for boys your son's age. The best advice that I can give you is to put your boy in counseling! This is very important, it sounds like he may be dealing with depression, and that can be very dangerous .