When do people discover who they really are?

Question

I ask this question because I am 22, I have lived my life outside of my home as an introvert, always quiet and calm, but at home with my family I am a extrovert, always expresssing myself, i am quite hot tempered, and quick to make jokes, but as soon as I leave my home, I become quiet, which is who I really am, this affects my life severely and I have noticed it since I was about 16 but it never really bothered me until now, this is a problem, because I come off as quiet to many people, then when I try to voice my self it is pretty freakin awkward, but as soon as I go home, I can talk with my parents and everything comes out fine, it takes me a good while to get to know people and develop friendships because of this problem, I consider myself very kind and understanding, but I think because I am quiet people perceive me as cold, or something I am a not, this affects my whole life, girls, socializing, school, is this a problem or the beginning to a serious problem?

Answer 1

I think you discover who you really are after you have become a full adult. Full adulthood is not usually reached for many years. However, you are considered an adult when you can control yourself, be responsible for yourself, be a good citizen, earn a living and have a family. Until you have achieved some of those things, you are a semi-adult - in the eyes of those who are older than you are. This may not be fair, but this is how it is in the world. You need to learn to be more social away from your home, and get feedback from your peers. There is nothing wrong with being a quiet person. They are often the smartest people. Be kind to yourself. Learn to relax when you are out being social. Dont worry about what people will think of you.
If you are behaving, you have no worries.

Answer 2

This sounds tough to me. I'm not sure that we ever really know ourselves. we may reach a point where we think we do, but then something happens that we have difficulty dealing with. there always seem to be some situation that does not make sense. Sometimes I think I have it all figure out, and wham! something pops. Interacting with others can be difficult at times. Personalities are complex, and not easy to work with. you might try to limit your extrovert ways some at home, where you are more comfortable, and save some of it for the outside world. My home live sucked a bit, so I looked for friendships and meaning in other people. Don't tell others that you have this sort of problem, just trey to find things you like to do with them. I've only found a few people who can handle the deeper stuff. I'm not to religious, but I so pray at times, which has done a lot of good. Sometime, I can't understand how it works, since I have a tendency to analyze things too much. I also feel that getting to know people should take a while, and meaningful friendships rally take time. When people hit it off without really knowing each other, it makes me wonder. It has to be sort of shallow. I have few good friend, and some of them seem to have darker sides showing up as time goes on. Try to relax more with others, and don't think too deeply. it messes me up too!

Answer 3

some never discover that ,
being locked into different forms of mindcontrol, that is included within modern society.
Thoth said long ago -Infinate love is the only truth -everything else is an illusion .
to understand that statement ,one needs to leave the plains of accepted reality,we as humans see only 3% of what is around us ,and we see only 3 dimensions ,Dolphins see more thatn us they see 4 dimensions ,and there are eleven in total

check a documentary on BBC called the elegant Universe
it is in 3 parts and deals with quantum physics.

then check this documentary -what the bleep do we know .on discovery channel.

read a book called Heavens breath -by Lyal watson and Sensitive chaos by Theodor Scwhenck on the Rudloph Steiner press.

Plan B by Lester E brown deals with the present state of the planet.

Now when you know ,WHERE you are WHAT it is ,HOW it works,WHAT IS WRONG with it .

you can begin to figure out what you are doing here and where you fit in

all these emotional attitudes and characteristics that you describe are basic

move above and beyond all that ,become part of the universe instead of a prisoner of what happens in the house or the town that you are in.
with knowledge and awareness comes strength,and you will forget all about the uncertainties that plague you at present

a nice text is the emerald tablets of Thoth ,philosyphy written 36.0000 years ago ,easy to find on a browser.

the people that matter will notice the value of you ,this should not be arteficial be yourself.

at home you are relaxed and feel at ease to act a part ,in public you are more timid ,
so what ????grow inside ,become strong mentally
and what matters will resolve itself

Answer 4

The fact that you notice this "problem" is the first and most important step. You probably feel more comfortable at home around family members than you do out with unknown people. You can just take baby steps to try to become more outgoing, but only if you feel confortable. It's hard to try and change suddenly becuase you don't really want people to notice a huge change if your behavior, which would lead to more attention than you want. But I suggest just trying little things once in a while. Remember...DO ONE THING EVERYDAY THAT SCARES YOU.

Answer 5

Yea, I have like the same problem it's like something shuts off when you leave your "saftey zone". No, it is not a huge problem who cares really what people think of you, but someday if lets say you want to find someone to get married or whatever your gonna have to make an effort. Or go on an online dating site. Or just in general if you want to make friends, but other then that be who you want to be. It's your life and however you feel comfortable, then thats the way it is. But your problem sounds like your just out of your saftey zone, and your scared people will judge you. It's hard to say it could be as simple as that or it could be much more complex, something could have happened to you and is causing this behavior idk that is something you need to think about, you could possibly have social phobia. If this really starts effecting your life, then go to a therapist. It sounds like you have a very supportive family and you are open with them, you could always ask them for help or talk about your feelings as well. BTW I think people discover who they really are when they have hit rock bottom.
Good Luck!

Answer 6

The road to self discovery is not very well sign posted. Be Your Own compass, choose Your star and follow it.
When You can step outside of Yourself, look back upon Your acts, deals, lifestyle, tastes, dreams, desires, hopes, ambitions, foibles, failings, qualities, attributes and quirks and be happy (if not slightly amused) with who You see looking back at You, then, and only then have You discovered Who You really are.

Answer 7

When you are 29 going on 30.

Answer 8

I am EXACTLY like you!!!!!!!!exept, i am 12/13 years old. i may seem young, but PLEASE listen to me, as i am considered VERY wise for my age. People usually discover who they are when they go past he stage where they think appearance is everything, and when they finally discover their true personality!!!!!!!!i have NEVER been through the first stage, but jumped right into the relization stage!!!!!!!!!!!yo are fine, adn people still have to overcome their judjments about you!This is not at ALL a problem!!!!!!!