I'm happily partnered to this wonderful man. We are just great together, both our families are so fond of us and everything is just great...except that I tend to cheat behind his back. We have sex every night...and yet...i look for more... why? I feel guilty but I just can't stop.... am i sick?? Please help me get out of this... we're gay partners in Malaysia. Both Indian.
2007-02-14 14:36:59 · 20 answers · asked by Jahnu 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Guys... I know some of you hv given me very nice answers and some of you are thinking that I'm the worst person in earth. Not that I'm saying that what i'm doing is something to be proud of. Its just that I've been single for a very long time and had fun along the way...is it because of that? I'm slowly phasing out of it but my will power gives in to temptation. All i'm asking you guys is please help me solve this...and cut down on the remarks... I already feel hopeless... i just don't want to do it... but why do i hv the urge to? i'm so confused....
2007-02-14 15:10:22 · update #1
Because you're selfish and you have no self control.
2007-02-14 14:40:15 · answer #1 · answered by Ethernaut 6 · 2⤊ 6⤋
Because you can, or the thrill, or you love 2 persons at once, or you find something in the other partner and what you lacking in your mate?
No one knows if not you! We can only suggest or try to understand why you do what you do.
Are you a caring type of person that you may feel you have enough love for everyone who has feeling for you?
Just be fair to yourself as well as others.
My guess is maybe you should separate yourself from all and really get to know yourself better. Before someone gets hurt, anymore than they will. when it all comes out into the opening.
Because right now you are not helping nor are you pleasing anyone but your own self. Not doing a good job at that nether.
Stop what your doing or at least be open about it.
Move out or move on, but sh#t or get off the pot!
Just stop thinking with the little head and start thinking from the heart.
2007-02-14 15:04:17 · answer #2 · answered by Bluelady... 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A couple of things come to mind. One might be your own feelings of insecurity. You may not believe you deserve such happiness, which leads to my other thought, that you are being self destructive because you don't believe you deserve what you have.
Men who cheat do it for a couple of reasons, the biggest one is they have no self respect. I really don't think that's your problem, I think you have a habit that you are struggling to break and you are unconsciously sabotaging yourself.
Can you get counseling? I think you need to talk with a professional about your feelings and get some solid ways to cope. If that isn't a possibility, then I suggest you do what you can to break your patterns. If you meet these guys at the same place, in the same situations, DON'T GO THERE. If you have a night or afternoon free that gives you the time for these relationships, then occupy yourself during that time. Exercise, meditate, learn a hobby. Its like breaking any habit, you have to put something else in its place.
Good luck to you.
2007-02-14 16:32:52 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you are one of those people who really like ALOT of variety when it comes to the sexual aspects of relationships. I think you also crave the security of being with one person. Does your partner know you do this and accept it as part of your realtionship? If not then it really is not being very fair to your partner. It does say that you cheat behind his back. Maybe he could accept you for the way you think/act. I guess it would be hard and a big risk to your relationship, but it would be out in the open and then he could decide and you could have a clear conscience.
2007-02-14 16:41:19 · answer #4 · answered by kar506 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, do not even imagine about suicidal. this isn't the answer. Suicidal is selfish. imagine how will each and every of the ppls round you experience in case you particularly pass into this ? your relatives ? Your siblings, kin, acquaintances ?? that's particularly no longer nicely worth that you ought to attempt this for the guy who betray you ! only manage this as a painful lesson learnt. must have get to draw close his buddy and kinfolk if you're into him. besides, enable bygone be bygone. A mistake is a lesson learnt. Be strong and pass on. Now that you're "loose", please spend more desirable time such as your relatives, acquaintances and kin. because you'll have abandoned them once you're with him for the previous 365 days. come across your pursuits and make new acquaintances. do not rush into any relationship only yet. Make your self busy and do not imagine about those sorts of historic previous anymore. i recognize that's frustrating yet you acquire to carry on and pass on ! i'm particular you may. wish you sturdy success and take care ! lifestyles is invaluable ... once you experience down, imagine and see those unlucky human being in the global ... then you will easily experience more desirable relieved. Please note that lots of the sufferers are suffering so frustrating to live to inform the tale, why won't be able to you ? Be strong ! i'm particular you may get with the help of this.
2016-11-03 12:01:30 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm straight and confused as to how a gay couple can cheat? If you take a leak in the men's can and some other guy sees you; then what? How about showering off after a workout with other guys; would this be cheating? I'm not trying to be insulting but this is one of the things that I just do not understand about the "gay" life.
2007-02-14 14:56:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I've been there where "I just had to have it now" and its a compulsion. If you want to stop, go to a Dr. and get on anti-depressants. Trust me, it will knock your sex life back by 1/2 or 3/4's lol, whether you want it too or not!
Other than that, all I can say is get a baby-sitter where you don't have the time to run out and have sex with others when YOU WANT!
2007-02-14 14:43:32 · answer #7 · answered by AdamKadmon 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You might be suffering from sexual addiction. It's nothing to be ashamed of, it's just like any other addiction. It doesn't mean you love your partner any less than you did before you started cheating. You should see a counselor, or go to a therapy group specifically for sexually addicted people. You should also tell your partner, it's the right thing to do.
2007-02-14 14:43:40 · answer #8 · answered by Kahlen 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I can't get you out of this. Maybe you do it because you need to feel attractive. I don't know. But in my life I have always tried to balance what I could gain against what I could lose. It looks to me like you could lose a lot.
2007-02-14 14:48:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
you need to break up with this person. your not only cheating them but yourself as well. if your cheating than your not in love, your not happy and you are wasting both of your precious time. move on - hopefully you can both be happy
2007-02-14 14:44:39 · answer #10 · answered by kd baby 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you cheat behind your lover's back because, like you said, you look for more. you should look for more from your lover not from any other person. it's should be like sheryl crow's song: soak up the sun.
It's not having what you want
It's wanting what you've got
be happy for what you have because there are a lot of people who are still trying to find one person to spend their life with.
2007-02-14 14:44:00 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋