Should young couples live together before marriage?

Question

Just curious to see what everyones opinion on this is.
Thank in advance

Answer 1

It's entirely up to the individuals. There are so many people out there trying to force their will upon others. It is your life, and you have to live it in the way that makes both you and your partner happy.

As an aside, for those that keep quoting statistics on the higher rate of relationship failure for people who live together before marriage, consider this: The people that are usually throwing this statistic around are people trying to defend their religious (often fanatically christian) position. People who live together before marriage usually are not religious. They do not have the socio-religious pressures that guilt them into staying in a marriage if they are unhappy. Personally, I believe that an unhappy and/or unloving marriage that continues only to fulfill a misguided notion of religious obligation is more of a failure than one that has ended in divorce because both parties have fully actualized that they have grown apart. This is just another fine example of how statistics can be abused to support whatever position you want them to support.

Answer 2

YES YES YES and more YES. Live together, on your own where things will have a better chance at getting real. People can be together and happy for years and years then get married, move in together and are miserable inside of a year. Marriage is nothing more than a very expensive peice of paper with your signatures on it, that can turn into another very expensive peice of paper with the same signatures to cancel out the first one. The tax reasons arent even worth it. Love is Love it doesnt need to be made legal to be defined. It cant be bought or sold. Buy a marriage by getting married and spending all that moneyon a big party and material things to make it as special as possible and go on vacation, (the flowers die, the party ends, the honeymoon ends, the band goes on to play other gigs, the dresses get hung up or shoved in a closet never to be worn again, the gifts get stored or used up or break or get upgraded in a year) sell a marriage by spending more money to get divorced and all those materials dont mean a thing anymore. LOVE is a reason to throw a party at your house whenever you want, and go on vacation whenever you want. Proving your love by social standards doesnt make it real. Live together, as married couples do without all the frills, after a year or two you will be content with your relationship, ready to leave, or want to get married. You wouldnt gulp a weird drink without testing it first, or commit to anything for the rest of your life when there are no guarantees. I hope I am making sense.

Answer 3

Some people don't like the idea. I moved in with my boyfriend during college breaks rather than going home. We've learned a lot about one another and it is like we are married. It is a good way to test a relationship to see if it is sturdy. Also, it is often more financially viable. Why pay two rents when you can just pay one? But like I said, some people frown upon it. I wouldn't do it lightly. Make sure the relationship is pretty strong before you consider it. If you break up, you'll end up with no where to live.

Answer 4

Why do people feel it's okay and "no big deal" to live with their partner before marriage? If you choose to do this, what do you have to look forward to after marriage? In my opinion, nothing at all. The only thing that will change once/if you get married, is your last name. You've already had sex, opened the door for pregnancy, among many other things, what's left as a reward after marriage? Nothing. -- Therefore, if that style of life is going to be your life, you might as well not even get married, what's the point?

Answer 5

It is extremely up to that person. Now a days how things are going I personally think yes. I am a 27 year old married female. I moved in with my husband when I was 18 before getting married. We were both young and I did not want to get married and then be afraid that it would fail and then have to get a divorce. I see it this way, Marriage is a very special thing, it is not something that you can play with. What I did is, I told myself that if we worked out for more than six months, then we would get married and as you can see it worked out. If you really think you love someone then go ahead and move in together and then if it works out go ahead and get married. Marry the person that you believe in your heart you will be together for the rest of your life. I hope I helped and good luck.

Answer 6

I'm living with someone now for the past 12 years and we are very happy, so I know it can work. However, I have to say no because we were older when we met (39) and already had established ourselves and also knew what we needed from another person. Moving in with everyone you get a crush on will stunt your emotional growth. You learn to become dependant on each other for the wrong things, and when it doesn't work out (and since no one is perfect, there will be problems) then you skip out on each other. When you're young, you need that ceremony and those vows to remind you stick it out and work through things.

Answer 7

Eeek! That's a hard one.
As a christian, it goes against my moral grain to say yes, and I guess there'll never be any true justification for doing so, I have to say no.
Having said that, I did live with my partner before I got married and I don't regret it. (I do struggle with not feeling bad about it). The commitment was there and we ironed out a whole bunch of things before we said "I do".
If you decide to do this, just make sure you're doing it for the right reasons, that you're truly committed to each other and not just because you're impatient.
Just remember though, if it doesn't work and you've given yourself to each other sexually, it'll be an experience you take into the next relationship, etc. Baggage can be more damaging than not, "experience" and "trying before you buy" isn't all it's cracked up to be. Commitment is everything.
God, however says "no", so depending on what your beliefs are.....

Answer 8

That is really up to you - I say no because there is still some chivalry in staying seperated until marriage - you can still see each other all the time if you put some effort in it. Thats my view but I am sure the opposite view has good reasons too like economics or seeing how you can live together - that kind of stuff.

Answer 9

No. Statistics show that couples who live together before marriage have a higher divorce rate than the average (which itself is quite high). This seems to nulify all the arguments people generally use to support the practice of living together before marriage.

Answer 10

I think that every couple should be required by law to live together for one year before even thinking about marriage to see if they can still stand each other after the year is up. Most couples wouldn't last 3 months!