Why would hubby give me flowers for valentine's day if we are seperated and heading toward divorce?

Question

He put them in the trunk of my car. the card said here is one rose for every year. Is this sentiment or a sign he is still hanging on?

We are seperated because he has anger problems, maybe depressed, but refused to get any help until I told him I wanted a divorce, got tired of being neglected and disrespected. He on a few occasions was physically abusive, some verbal abuse, we started arguing over every petty thing and argued in circles. I begged him to work on our marriage for 3 yrs, counseling anything, but nada. And then I ended up having an affair at the end. So yes it is a mess. we tried counseling right before we seperated, got nowhere, because i was so exhausted with everything going on I just felt like running away before I got sucked back into the depths of hell. yes he will be good for a year or 2, but I don't think it would last.

Answer 1

Just write a short note (always good to have things in writing and keep a photocopy before you mail it) and say "Thank you for the roses. I counted them and there seems to be a few roses short - for the times you made me cry. Let's just call it even though and go on with our separate lives."

Answer 2

It's called the "Beaten Wife Syndrome".

I was in the same situation, but thankfully I never married him. I would leave or take a break from him and those were the only times he would do something sweet that would suck me back into his void.

Every time I came back he would promise me the moon and told me things would be different. It never was different. So I finally left for good. This lead him making attempt after attempt to get me back, but it never worked.

His most aggressive attempts were when he found I was soon-to-be married, even though he already had a girlfriend and claimed to have moved on.

Thankfully, I met a wonderful man who I married. He treats me how every women deserves to be treated. I'm so glad I moved on from that previous jerk.

So the lesson is, if this guy you were with was abusive in any way, shape, or form it's time to leave, and stay that way. You'll find someone who will treat you like a princess.

Answer 3

That is a very good question. Perhaps I can put a little light on you love problem. If I could guess you both fight over the things you find out from others that has lead you to divorce.(Maybe I'm Wrong) I would talk to him about this. Only he will know the true reason. If you share questions just like this one with each other you will come to understand each other better. When you finally learn to trust each other you will find that only your own answers are right and no one else's opinion matters; not even mine.

Good luck to you both, no matter the outcome.

Answer 4

If he is abusive AT ALL and refuses help, then RUN don't walk. Even with counseling and serious help there is very little hope that he can change. He sounds very manipulative and sending flowers and being sweet is just a way to soften your emotions and get you back with him. Cut your loses and start new...learn about yourself and why you let him bring you down. Take the time to see a counselor on your own and become the best and strongest person you can be

Answer 5

This is classic. A man treats you life crap then thinks that flowers will fix everything, You left stay gone. I was in an abusive relationship and every time I got a black eye I got some type of gift saying he was sorry and it would never happen again. I was stupid for staying as long as I did but now I have been married to a wonderful man for 17 years and I know what it feels like to be treated like a queen in a mans eye who really loves you. Get a divorce tell him to send his flowers to himself because he is the one that is sick not you. godd luck

Answer 6

You answered youself when you said do not think it will last. Maybe the best statement would be - you KNOW it wouldn't last. Are you willing to risk all that again just coz some poor guy bought a couple of roses? wake up and do smell the roses, its time to move on, physical abuse has no excuse nowadays, gone are the chest thumping cro-magnon days of yester years when testosterone was blamed for all male folays.

Answer 7

a number of it relies upon on what you comprehend of him. often, human beings are creatures of habit, and on days of severe stress or expectancies, to sink into previous workouts is barely naturla. it is the raseon couples harm up after the holiday trips, and previous college reunions finally end up with the comparable previous coupleshooking up back in the event that they are nonetheless single. that's a convenience zone, and on a clumsy day, that's clever to retreat to the convenience zone. If the divorce is a mutual, civil difficulty, then i'd say he's feeling sentimental related to the previous, and the roses prepare that he favorite those years, whatever you're dealing with now. If that's all actual - it is truthfully a stunning gesutre....i'm hoping I helped, a minimum of with amybe a diverse persepctive. sturdy success with each thing!

Answer 8

He is trying to keep you hanging on. Flowers are a girls best friend, they win our hearts. My suggestion to you is to keep right on walking. If he has that much anger you don't need it. Moving on is not easy but staying behind? Which is worse? Do you want children? What kind of a life would it be for them? There are decent men out there just have to look a little harder for them.

Answer 9

leave him.
ignore the roses it's man law, if a man has a woman during any special event like valentines day he would still get flowers it's genitic.all of us guys have it.on top of that in your trunk??
he is still making things hard for you still.if he had just handed them to you then that would be different.
if he is abusive then he's a worthless piece of $hit.
you can do better.

Answer 10

Hi Kat, this is either a sign that he's still longing to be with you, or a feeling of remorse and a sign of moving on. I know those options are both opposites, but in my opinion, those are the only logical explainations. Good luck.