Men, have you ever said this?

Question

Have you ever said you didn't want the life you have with your wife and kids- and why did you say it? What were you going through?

Answer 1

Yes I said it.
Too many arguments been going on too long and I was seeing the same behaviours growing in my children.
Communication was deteriorating cos the tools were all wrong.
I wasnt going forward, and the future seemed impossibly bleak, I wanted to escape because I couldnt see a way out.
I decided to find new tools and worry about what it is I am doing wrong.
Cant say I still dont feel like running away sometimes, but I am a lot wiser.
It only takes one to initiate a different flow of interractive energy in a family. It doesnt matter who. All that matters is what I am doing wrong, and so I learnt the art of seeing the finer points of communication like a gardner sees an aphid.
I found that the world dumps, and my first rule of thumb was
Look for and Appreciate the good in others.
No put downs.
Not easy for a man to express feelings in thoughts and words

Answer 2

My husband said it twice. The first time when our son was 2 yrs. old. I came home from work and he was waiting at the door with his bags packed - he said he wanted nothing to do with me or our son, that he wasn't ready to be a husband or a father (he begged me to have a child and wanted several more!!), and to have a nice life. Turned out he was seeing a coworker. I took him back 2 mos later, like an idiot.
We worked things out and stayed together - happily, I thought - for 8 more years. I later found out he had been cheating and doing on-line dating for most of that time. Even during my chemo.
Now he's been gone almost 3 yrs. He, again, hooked up with a coworker and decided he had never been happy being married or a dad. He did do shared custody to reduce the child-support he would have to pay, but it was reluctantly. I have had little or no contact with him now since he moved out on Father's Day 2004. He will only talk to me if it is an absolute necessity and then he still can't look me in the eye. It does turn out that he is bipolar. He believed he had fallen in love with his coworker (200+ lbs. and nearly 16 yrs. his junior). Their relationship lasted approx. 2 yrs. after he left us and then she left him. He has been through several girlfriends since then. He has admitted that it wasn't worth it emotionally or financially. He also asked one time if I would consider trying to work things out (about 7 mos. after he left - he had not had any contact with me, not even to ask if I was doing alright, how my surgeries had gone, nothing). If he had been there for me during that time, even in small ways, things probably would have turned out much differently.

Answer 3

NO i never said that and never would either. My wife and kids mean everything to me and i would be devestated if i lost them and i would not be able to live without them very well. They are the best thing that ever happened to me. This is the best life i have ever had.

Answer 4

Men who say that to women are trying to get their legs up in the air. If they are soemwhat intelligent they knew from the get-go that marraige can be trying and boring at times. Like everything else in life. Jobs, kids, chicken-salad...it gets rough. But be a man and fight through the boredom and quit whining.

Answer 5

NOPE! i love the life i have with my wife and little girl....couldn't have asked for anything more! Any parent would be a fool to say that they didn't want that life even AFTER they have children...they are what makes it all that much better....