Wve been together for 3yrs.We were happy & evrything is perfect.we love each other so much,we have plan 2 get married and have kids and build a hppy family,we never fight or argue of anything.We were romantic & passionate,we treat each other as bestfriends also,we never keep secret & never lie,we never have issue with 3rdparty.he always tell me that he love me so & he showed it 2 me.i love him more than myself & want 2 be with him 4 the rest of my life.Then i went back home 2 have my holiday with my family,& he told me he also want 2 go back home 2 his country do same thing.and we both agree 2 do it 4 2weeks only.That 2weeks is lonely 4 me & then he suddenly do arrange married & he didnt tell me,his mother choose the girl.& since then,i didnt hear anythng from him,he dint call me,I only heard the news from his family & his friends.Its really painful,everyday i cry,its so hard 4 me to move on.I feel lost & i feel like i want to die.He is evrything 2 me & now i dont know what 2 do.help!
2007-02-14 12:17:39 · 13 answers · asked by Ella 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sorry to hear this happened to you as you were so in love and had plans for the future. Unfortunately blood's thicker than water and family pressure was too much for him so he gave in.
He probably didn't really want to, he just wanted to please his parents. I wish i could tell u something to make u feel better.
He could miss you so much he will change his mind and dissolve the marriage and marry you. Pray about it, things will get better and you will move on and be happy again.
2007-02-22 10:00:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
From what Ive read and understood about arranged marriages the young man has known he would be married but when I dont think they know.
These families that practice this spring this upon them at the moment they feel is right. For the most part it is when they suspect they are getting envolved with another and its serious. Some of these arrangments are made at birth between families.
Then any other woman outside this marriage is nothing to them anymore. These young men and women will do as they were raised and that is to marry someone they most likely have never met. You cant change this practice. Nothing can be done now. So I suggest you move on and make a life with a real man that wasnt and wouldnt use you as this man did. God Bless You
2007-02-21 21:33:15 · answer #2 · answered by lovie12346 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am guessing that your boyfriend is Indian? It is terrible what happened but you have to understand - it happens all the time. The pressure that these families can assert on their sons to get married is enormous. Believe it or not - this is not about you. This is about him being too weak to stand up to his parents and too scared to go against them. They probably threatened him and said it would kill them if he didn't do what they asked. They also probably threatened him that they would cut him out of the family if he didn't marry some girl they chose.
You do need closure. If you have an email for him compose one last email. Tell him you are hurt and disappointed in him. Tell him that you would never interfer in another person's marriage and that you feel bad that the girl he married has no idea about him and the life he was leading before. Then you walk away. He has a new wife and a new life. He has to give that a chance. It may work - it may not. You do not want to be the cause of her pain I am sure.
Good luck.
2007-02-14 15:40:23 · answer #3 · answered by CV 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear this but I think that you should try to talk to him and tell him how you feel. Is there any way that you can let his mother know how you feel as well. Also now and days people should pick the person that they want to marry it shouldn't be arranged anymore. I hope that things work out for you. I know that this hurts but if it doesn't work out for you life does goes on and you will meet someone that is going to love you and respect you put you first above anything else. If this guy says that he wants to be with you he should fight for you and he shouldn't let his mother run his life anymore. His mother needs to mind her own business and let you guys be happy. Now as for him he needs to grow up and decide what he wants a wife or a mother running his life and making the decisions for him. Take care I hope this helps
2007-02-22 10:49:13 · answer #4 · answered by beenie 21 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so very sorry for the pain you are in right now...You had a future planned out with someone and you thought everything positive laid ahead of you and then the volcano erupted and you feel you have nothing now...Well, sweetie, you still have so much. You have your whole life and be happy to wake in the morning....be thankful for your family....Maybe you need to go back and see your family again...He may not have been able to help what happened to him, but he shouldn't have wasted your time....and that is what he did.. You have to cry,and cry some more and then you have to get past this and get control of yourself. You need to decide if you want to live, because that is what you must do. Love sometimes comes with heartache and I am sorry you are feeling it, but it happens every day. You need to get on with your life and you shouldn't waste your time thinking about him anymore...look, it's been far too long already...I hope you can do this, because doubting yourself is not the answer....he should not have done that to you...
2007-02-14 12:33:15 · answer #5 · answered by ♥Minnie Mouse♥ 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Please realize that he was NOT the one for you. If he was in love with you, he would not have done this regardless of circumstances or family pressures. I know it's hard to believe, but it will get easier. There IS someone for you and he's waiting for you, so take care of yourself and start living again. You want to be your best when you meet the man of your future. Cry about the man of your past at home whenever you feel like it and put on a happy face to the world (fake it til you make it). Good luck to you!
2007-02-14 12:38:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like this: "Sweetheart, I only had a threesome such as your mom and Grandma" this can sufficiently wonder her. then you you ought to assert "only kidding honey, what form of a guy do you imagine i'm....! Harrumph!!! by technique of how I do have a spouse and 2 youthful little ones". She'll be so relieved that you probably did no longer have a bone consultation with her mom and grammy, each and every thing will be forgiven. wish this helped.
2016-11-03 11:38:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm give him up. You gotta do so because he don't respect or cherish you at all. Love is not everything, it is just part and parcel of life. Cherish the good memories and move on. Time will heal everything. Let go. Close one door and you will find another door open for you.
2007-02-20 02:33:51 · answer #8 · answered by Zimone78 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please always remember the love you have for this person... Forgive him... It will drive him crazy.. Keep your head high and your pride too, when he calls you.. because he will call you... After you hear him out.. Tell him that you did love him, but that you do not want to be with a liar... and thank him for not marrying you and having you find out about this when you married him.. Trust me, he did you a huge favor... Good luck!
2007-02-14 12:24:15 · answer #9 · answered by psecada 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im sorry you got betrayed and hurt by your fiance i don't know how to coffort you thats alful his family did that but it may be thier belief if thier indians
2007-02-20 18:30:18 · answer #10 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋