I have a huge anger management problem, any advice to handle it?

Question

I'm almost 30 and I still have an anger management problem. It deeply disrupts my work, my relationship with co-workers, with my Husband, his in-laws, my friends, my family. It goes something like this, someone will say something or do something and I'll feel myself explode inside like a bomb. For me there is only a split second between complete calm and instant anger. My anger is literally ruining my life. I need to stop but I can't. I feel as if I'm on crack. As funny as this my seem to some people it's not. I'm getting desperate here. At age 28 the only thing I've learned to do so far about my anger is to hold it in only to have it explode a few days later. Another side affect of this is I stay angry for a very long time.
Anyone, just anyone who has some techniques for not feeling angry in the first place. Respond please.

Answer 1

Okay, it sounds like you have half of the problem worked out, which is not letting your anger loose right away. What you need to do now is find a way to redirect it without letting fly at the nearest bystander. Myself, I use a punching bag. Yes, really! Not only do I let off steam, but I keep in shape because at least twice a week, I want to whale the tar out of that thing!

As to the "not feeling angry in the first place" part: It helps to put things in perspective. Yes, people are idiots; they can't help it. That's how I look at it, and yes, I'm being an arrogant *****, but some of the mistakes I see people make every single day are enough to make a Zen master want to decapitate them. Unfortunately, that's against the law, so my advice is to take it one day at a time, and if possible, find a way to laugh at what makes you angry. I snicker all the time, and have even mastered keeping it to myself. Okay? And when it's too much, go find a punching bag and let loose. Best of luck to you.

Answer 2

I used to get angry alot. Sometimes I still do , i dont know if there is any way to avid getting angry but, i have founf that if i look at the person who is causing my anger and think, what an ******* and laugh, it usually makes me feel better. Sometimes if somwone says something too me i dont like I just smile and reply, youre a funny guy, or you really are a piece of work you know that?....Try to think something humourous at the moment you feel anger, it may help

Answer 3

seeing a medical doctor might be a good idea. my problem was not so much with anger but more no tollerence, no patience,flying off the handle for dumb little things. i could not recall the last time i had a smile on my face. the whole experience was like having 24/7 severe pms. people would tip toe around me cuz i was always ready to go off on something. but......in all honesty.........i was having a great life. my kids are wonderful. and everything is fine.........go figure. my doctor diagnosed the problem as a chemical imbalancement, put me on effexor and i was back to being human in two weeks.

Answer 4

you took the words out of my mouth! i asked a question like this not too long ago but i couldnt get the words out and you just did. I AM THE EXACT SAME WAY!! and its starting to hurt my relationship!!!

you can read some of my answers which were somewhat helpful.

personally...i LITERLY take a HUUUUUGGGEEE deep breath...its almost like a big dramatic breath..i dont care if its dramatic though im pissed...so when i need to jus take a second i take a HUUUUGGEE deep breath!!! and then i try to start laughin it off...because with alot of other things i usually laugh it off....

some ppl say count to 10 i say no..i doont have time..

some ppl say walk away..but again i dont have time!!

some ppl say find the root source and go from there...my root source is i want control... but how i can fix that before i fix my anger??

some ppl say go to the dr..again no time or money...

some ppl might c it as bipolar...im not that drastic though...

any ways goodluck though!!

just try to block ppl out when u take ur deep breath... haha i heard this from a show but its sooo true...

when someone pisses you off or says something wrong.... WIPE UR A S S with it!!!!

goodluck!!! and amen!! haha~

Answer 5

You must give your husband permission to hold you accountable. Allow him the authority over you to warn you when you are out of line with your anger. If you can not bring it under control at the time of his warning then there must be a punishment after you calm down and you must accept it in order to do better the next time.

Answer 6

well, i tink u should pray about it. nothing works better than prayer. developing a spiritual relationship with Jesus would certainly help. But everybody gets angry, when you do just count to ten very in your mind. Repeat that step if necessary. Keep your arms behind your back, and clench your fist. Walk/run far away from the source of anger as long as it wouldn't seem rude/disrestpectful in that situation. Don't let your anger gain control of you, you must take control of it! so pray dude, pray!

Answer 7

The cause of your anger is that you feel you are "above" others--superior to them in every way. You need to get rid of that attitude first. Realize that we are all created equal, and that people and this world does not revolve around you. You are not the sun of the universe. You are merely a planet, like everyone else. Give others some space. Your anger is hurting you more than it is hurting others. First, it will take your health. Then, it will take your life. You need to learn to become meek and humble. It is they who inherit the Earth.

Answer 8

Well when at work take a piece of paper and write ur feelings down and at home just leave the room and go to ur room and just sit there and think about what they said and try to think how question can become positive one and come back like nothing happened take my advice i have been in alot of trouble because of this

Answer 9

It sounds like you may have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), you should see a therapist and get yourself treated before you end up with health problems due to the constant build up of anger and stress or before you hurt someone and end up behind bars. And I'm sure you don't want that. Good Luck.

Answer 10

You need to see a professional counselor, as soon as possible. He or she will be able to work with you to find some techniques that work for you and also help you understand what causes your anger and how to cut it off before you explode.

One thing that helps regulate my mood is exercise, but just because that works for me, does not mean it will work for you. A professional is really your best bet.