I have a son that is 13 my wife has been strung out on drugs for 6 years our sex life left 12 years ago and she has cheated on me with several different men including 2 of what use to be my freinds. I run a plumbing business work 14 hr's a day at the present time. I fell like a robot because I am wearing all the hats at work and at home. I am now 54 years old and burned out sometimes I would like for the good lord too take me now so I could quit feeling so unhappy and I can rest for good. I lost all my pride years ago I feel like a nobody I've ask god for help but haven't seen any releif yet.
2007-02-14 12:06:47 · 37 answers · asked by Gary K 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
maybe despite all the problems you still are in love with your wife.
I know what it's like to feel like your doing it all.
It's obvious that she and you both need therapy. She needs to get off the drugs and you need to stop the anger. And I do know from experience that you do harbor an anger when you feel like you have to do it all.
Lots of times when we are waiting for God to answer us, He is waiting for us to listen to Him. You have a responsibiltiy too.. you need to seek help in order to get help.
start with your primary care provider and tell him/her everything you have said here. Then he/she will most likely take it from there.
2007-02-14 12:09:30 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs J 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
.Well for one thing I would like to say hello my brother . I am a 51 year old roofer . Same thing here mine got all strung out on drugs she didn't care what kind but crack was here choice. Then there was the so called Friends which i soon found out all my Friends where really her Friends I didn't have a Friend in the world. I to work and work getting nowhere and I have a son also and just like you praying for the good lord to get me out of here with no reply.
One day I just got so fed up i grab her by the arm she was all high and everything I put her out the door she did call the cops. When they got here I just told them the truth .She,s a drug addict I don't wont her around my kid give her a drug test if you don't believe me .Well guess what thank God and the Michigan police she gone .
I know you love your wife as I did but she,s not loving you back Its really her choice and she chose the drugs and the men you have to do something or keep putting up with it
Today I am single and loving it and I have my son . My health has improved I gained 20 some odd pounds and allot of ladies knocking on the door if you know what i mean .
Don't be afraid take that first step its hard but was well worth it At this point your just the neighborhoods fool
Sir I feel your pain and hope all the best for you and your son.
2007-02-14 13:00:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First step is to figure out if you still love your wife or if you simply care about her as the mother of your child. Then, if you still love her and want her to get back to some semblence of the woman you fell in love with, you have to get her some help for the drugs.
This is not a good scene for your son to be in. Your wife needs to understand that. And she needs to understand that you want your wife back and not this monster who's strung out all the time. You feel like God has not answered your prayers because you may not be asking the right way. Set aside some time for just you and God to have a talk. No interruptions and then ask him how to help your wife get away from drugs. Ask him, Lord please deliver her from this lifestyle and back to our family and home. Ask him for his guidance and signs so you know you are on the path that HE has for your life. HE answers all prayers. Sometimes in ways we never see and would never expect. Good luck and God bless.
2007-02-14 12:17:13 · answer #3 · answered by j05gemini 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes, when we get stuck..so to speak, in a rut. We have a hard time pulling ourselves out. You have been with her a long time now, and starting over can be scary. Could it be that you feel sorry for her? For what she has become, and what she has done to you? If she is strung out, she obviously needs help. She has to want it though. She has put you through a lot. I dont know how you feel about divorce and whatnot, but maybe it's time. You need to salvage whats left of your life. If not for you then your son. Doesnt he deserve better? I am sure he would rather be with you and be happy. Then, to watch his mom slowly killing herself. This is a tough decision, but only you can make that. I wish you the best of luck! God be with you!
2007-02-14 12:18:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
God can only help you if you help yourself.
What you are needing is severe life change.
If you can prove that your wife is on drugs, then pick up your 13 year old son and get out. Thats no environment for him to be growing up in. Find a place and screw her. Let her other men have her and take care of her.
You have to take the steps to make yourself happy, then God will provide the happiness. Meet him halfway.
Didn't you ever see "Where The Red Fern Grows"
2007-02-14 12:11:13 · answer #5 · answered by royalpainshane 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you have some signs of depression. But with good justification. You can't continue to go on like this. If she has a drug problems. You also have a son to think about. Think about what you said about the good lord taking you. What will happened you your son. He will be raised by a drug addicted mother. He needs you now more than ever he is coming into the age where he need guidance for his Father. As your for your wife she needs MAJOR HELP. Drug rehab, counseling. Start with a drug test when get her to go to see you family doctor, That's when she could be tested. Don't let know know this is the plan . Because I have seen it to many time. That will stop long enough for it to work its way out of they system. I could go on and on. Please -e-mail med. I have had a lot of experiences like this one. If just want to talk.
2007-02-14 12:18:34 · answer #6 · answered by Janst 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
God will hear your prayers, he doesn't always answer right away.Put some of your time in the bible reading and making a better relationship with the Lord. Seek him, he has an uncondtional love that will never falter or leave you. Through him I think you will make the right decision. Start with the New Testament. He will not lift you up until you are ready to pick yourself up. I don't think I could handle the drug problem I would have to remove myself from that. Get help for her and have her commited to a ReHab. Center, then move on. Praying for you!
2007-02-14 12:17:10 · answer #7 · answered by ladybugjan 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My freind, God does help those who help themselves. Now, I can respect and appreciate your taking your vows seriously. We could stand more that understand them and take them seriously. But if you are a Christian, then you know that when she cheated on you, you had the only scriptural reason which God allows to divorce her. If you did not do so, you have in some ways picked what you have gotten since then, have you not, as you decided to keep her?
Freind, we can ask God to help people change. But even God wont force them to do so. He allows them to decide which path to follow, and she continues to pick the bad one. You are one of the few people that anyone will see me say this too. Dump her like yesterdays trash and enjoy what is left of your life. No, that doesnt mean go nuts, have sex, get drunk or anything else. If you are never with anyone else, at least you dont have to live with someone who makes you want to die and you can enjoy basic life, in peace. Did Proverbs not say that we are better to live on the roof then to live in the house with a contentious(horrible, combative) women?
2007-02-14 12:20:14 · answer #8 · answered by Mr. JW 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, if you think you are in trouble, how about those hangry people in Africa? those bleeding people in the middle east? What makes you think you are the one who is suffering? Every one is on a trip filled with hardships and pains, and its called life journey. If you want to quit, you will never cheer up again. I myself was struck by several difficulties plus bad lucks several years ago, and I felt hopeless as well, now, I have a good job and a computer at home. Hold on, do not quit yourself. A few years from today, when you look back, you will see what I am saying. Hardships can make people(including you) stronger, not weaker. Best wishes from the bottom of my heart and God bless you.
2007-02-14 12:18:17 · answer #9 · answered by Gone 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You stay married because of your son. I think you are afraid of what will happen if he was with your wife full time. You could get a divorce and get custody of your son. You could pay some one to look after him until you get home. Maybe a neighbor or the wife of one of your male friends would do it.
If you were to pass away it would do a lot of mental harm to your son and he would still have to live with his mother.
I wish you good luck and try counseling so you can work your problem out to the best for you and your son.
2007-02-14 12:19:05 · answer #10 · answered by Aliz 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you obviously care about your son so don't make the same mistake alot of people do and stay married for him. I'm sure he has some idea what is going on and might even blame himself. it comes through loud and clear that you have suffered self esteem damage from this and although I realize that you work alot and very long hours you should really seek counseling, get yourself back together and move forward. drug addicts are very difficult to deal with, they suck the life out of you and there is always a part of you that thinks they will get better and they let you down over and over so the best thing for you and your son is to be away from your wife.........your son should not be around addiction.........its very hard for a kid to deal with, think how you feel and you (for lack of a better term) understand it better than him.
2007-02-14 12:16:27 · answer #11 · answered by irish eyes 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋