We've been together for 9yrs,same things keep happening. He hit me, abused me, even worst after living together.He seems like hate me so much.Until a day,he chased me out from 'our' house. After seperation for 4 months,now he wants a reunite,he promised that he will change and to give me full hapiness,he even blamed me that i didn't really gave him chance to change. But 9 yrs seems like TOO long to know a person. and How many times he wants forgivness. His excuse was his business stress. We had registered and become a lawfully couples. He gave me 2 options now: 1)He sign me FREEDOM and in return he wants the WHOLE property. 2)Return to be with him. Does he really loves me? and sincerely willing to change?and what kind of terms are this,both options are based on his own advantages.
2007-02-14 11:08:02 · 33 answers · asked by Jin 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Are you on crack? Why would you even THINK about it unless you love to be hit and love drama? Blamed YOU for not giving his sorry *** a chance? Yeah, that's a changed man alright.
2007-02-14 11:17:31 · answer #1 · answered by justbeingher 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there,done that. You need to leave that selfish jerk alone and let him take the property. It will be worth getting rid of him. They don't really love you, what they love is the control. they don't change even though they are good at making you believe they will. After 9 years you should know all this by now. Find a nice man who isn't controlling and abusive and who wants to do things for you. You find someone else and you won't ever want him back. He's putting the blame on you to make you feel weak so you feel vulnerable to him. That's what abusers do. Do you really want to live in his trap again, because nothing will change. You need to cut all ties or he will own you for another unhappy 9 years.
2007-02-14 11:20:45 · answer #2 · answered by Whiteangel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know why you put up with this treatment for so long..
He doesnt love you they all say they will change, they dont face reality he would have chnaged years ago.. He has you where he wants you either he sets you free with nothing i.e. no money, house or you go back and suffer however many more years of abuse.. I would go with freedom, he never loved you did he?
You are better off out of this so called relationship, you have managed on your own for 4 months you dont need him or his abuse.. He done this to you for 9 yrs when will you realise he wont change when your dead thats what will happen eventually..
He has controlled you and still is with his demands,walk away your life is more valuable than a house or money. Cut all ties with him for good move on you deserve way better. I know what he deserves and it aint a chance beleive me, and no he doesnt or ever did love you what he loved was his control over you, and he doesnt know the meaning of the word sincere never mind be it, you got it based on his terms to his advantage thats enough get out and stay out of this relationship once and for all...
Good luck dont be fooled by him, he is an animal, a rat, wouldnt know how to spell the words I love you........
2007-02-14 12:26:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This man does not love you. His two options are what he wants not what you want. When a man truely loves a woman, he will do anything he can to make and keep her happy. There is no excuse in this world for hitting, beating, or controlling a spouse. Unless he is willing to see a therapist to get the help he needs, he will not change. Abusive men always say they will change, and they do for a couple of days, then when they know they have you right where they want you, it starts all over again, sometimes worse. It's bad living with someone you are afraid of, especially the one whom you think loves, trusts and respects you.
2007-02-14 12:24:37 · answer #4 · answered by Frances M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FORGET HIM!
Join one of the military services! Good Pay, No rent bill, food covered, 30 days a year paid vacation, will learn a valuable profession, medical, computers, electronics, personal, accounting, what would you like to do as a work profession!
Do not worry about anything material you had with him! Cut Clean and NEVER look back! Did I mention, ALL medical/dental/insurance at no cost to you! Plus a ton of military/VA benefits when your tour is up! PAY is twice a month, every month, for the time you chose to serve!
You have NO advantages at all in your present situation! You do not have to make TERMS with no one! Put some Mistletoe on the back of your panties and tell him it is Christmas!
You mean, you haven't left yet?
2007-02-14 11:38:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bad choices. The fact that he blames you says don't go back. Where do you live that option number 1 is a legitimate offer? I'd consulte an attorney. If you own the property together then you can get something out of the deal without having to go back. Don't wait for him to give you freedom, take it.
2007-02-14 11:14:43 · answer #6 · answered by MI 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is absolutely NOTHING allowable about stress as a trigger for abuse, torture and cruelty!!!!
You have wasted 9 years of your life in a very sick situation. You need to get yourself into abuse victim treatment, get yourself stable and healthy, and file criminal charges against this thug.
He is still BLAMING you for his despicable criminal behavior and abuse.
Seriously, are you that helpless? You have already died an emotional and mental death by being treated this way. Get on the path of waking up and start living life!!!
Stay away from men and sex for at least 2 years before dating again. The future of your relationship life will have to put mind before heart. THere are too many bad men in the world.
2007-02-14 11:18:54 · answer #7 · answered by PM 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you heard the expression "a Leopard can't change his spots" He is what he is... after 9 years you know this. Please for your safety ****don't go back. The next time you may not be so lucky as to be chased out, you may be carried out in a body bag. A bit harsh but check the statistics. No excuse ever for what he has done and will continue to do to you. If you absolutely insist on going back to him * I still say DON"T !!!* make sure he has and is continuing to seek help for his abuse.
2007-02-14 11:23:45 · answer #8 · answered by double_klicks 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He obviously hasn't changed. Do as you have always done and you get what you have always gotten..... You keep thinking the same thought too....for 9years? Get a life of your own.Let your life go on in a direction that gives you freedom from the kind of men like him. Anger management classes would help you understand that his problem has caused you problems.....and you can manage what happens to you by the kind of person you allow into your life. You deserve real love....get help for you...not him..
2007-02-14 11:18:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think u have alot to learn from a lawyer. As u said, his situation is win/win and yours is lose/lose. Talk to a lawyer, find out your options and then see. I wouldnt go back to him. He hasnt changed, because if he had, he would be more willing to work with you instead of giving u altimatums. He is self centered and not considering u at all in this.
Talk to a lawyer. Cut your losses with him. He is a loser.
Good luck hun. U deserve better and WILL find better in time. All men dont hit. Just remember that. :)
2007-02-14 11:15:15 · answer #10 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋