What is in her mind? Why would she do this knowing how I feel? We had been together from 12 & 15. Now 34 & 37?

Question

My ex called me out of the blue. We don't communicate. I am still hurt. We have a 8yr old daughter together. She brought (i agreed) a man in our home who was down on his luck. I was VERY nieve. Things were already not good between us. After 3yrs she wants to take me to lunch. She proceeds to tell not a day has gone by that she hasn't thought of me ect. ect. She was sorry. what she did was wrong ect. ect. She then says her lover has moved out although she was still "friends" (I was told this term before) with him and still cared for his boys. She asked if we could try to be friends again.? I let her know the only way I could do this was knowing he was gone. I wear my heart on my sleeve so she knows in grave detail how I feel. I have since confronted her @ his home. She admitted to still sleeping with him. She says I misunderstood her. She just wanted to be social and says for our daughter. I have told her as long as she is involved w/ him we could not have a friendship it is to painful.

Answer 1

I think she is confused. She is playing with your emotions and perhaps because her and her ex split, she resorted to u for an emotional connection because she knows u still care for her. She needs to leave u alone accept for the sake of your daughter. I think u will be better off to tell her this flat out. Dont get involved with her in any other way, especially not romantically. She will hurt u. She doesnt know what she wants and if she is still sleeping with her ex, she is using u for another reason. She is feeding off of the fact that u still care for her, and when she was low, she played on that. Its really sad on her part. She has no conscious.
Leave it alone. Dont have anything to do with her outside your daughter.
I honestly feel she will hurt u again.
Sorry, but its how i feel. GOod luck to u.

Answer 2

Dude, you are either reta**** or the most bal***** man I know of for the most part.

Why would you ever even consider being freinds with this women? Because of your daughter? Take your kid man, for mom is a horrible influence on her. Look, just because a woman has a kid with you in no way means that you need to be freinds with her when she is trashy? Treat her as you would others, as she acts and as she is.

Having the kid was merely a biological function. It isnt like she did it out of love for you or as a gift or anything. Being the women who birthed her doesnt mean she did anything other then have sex at the time when it all came together so to speak. A mother is a mother from what they do, give, etc. Not because they produced. Are we not always told that of Fathers and Dads? Same goes for the females too, they just hate for us to realize or say it.

So you loved her? I understand that. But she is trashy, cheated and dumped you. It sadly happens often dude. Why would you need freinds like that and just what can you expect from them? If she wants to be freinds and is buttering you up, you can bet your bottom she is up to something or wants something from you, otherwise she wouldnt pee on you if you were on fire. Get a spine and a backbone dude, or you will be victimized even more by this women. Dude, even the Bible tells you that you are not to put faith or trust in untrustworthy people. Look it up.

Answer 3

I know how you feel. I'm a victim of being cheated on 3 times. All in the same time period of about 1 year. I was so naive and used to really believe that she was putting in overtime at her swing shift job. I never once checked up on her to verify. I loved her and didn't want to consider that. Well she left. Even after I found out about her cheating I told her I was willing to work it out if she stopped, but she wanted to leave anyway.

What you have on your hands is a wife that doesn't deserve you. She wants to be friends with you, not to make you happy, but to serve her own self interest. She remembers being happy with you, and she wants enough of you around so she can get some of that happiness. Don't ever believe she will be committed to you again.

I retried with my wife. I even moved away from family and friends because she had "changed" and regretted her decision. That went good for about 4 months then we were right back in the same situation.

Answer 4

You really need to get over her Go fined another woman and stop thinking she,s coming back to you . You don't have to be Friends with her boyfriend or her . She,s the type of woman that doesn't wont to be alone every time she gets into it with her boyfriend she,s going to run to you or some other victim.

She,s not sorry for doing what she did to you and you know it .When there sorry they come home not sleep with guys
Stop letting her use you she knows what she,s doing your just another puppet on a string to her .

One more thing to look for see if she is on drugs people on drugs will say anything and do anything and if that's the case kick the guys butt and get her help if you still love her

Answer 5

ok, point blank. You have a daughter together. You are tied to this woman for life. You must be civil to each other and work as co-parents. Does that mean friends? no. It means working together for the good of your child.
That means accepting that the relationship in one way is over, so let her go. Move on in that area of your life.Stop confronting her at her lover's home. She said friends, not get back together. Try the best that you can to remain civil, especially when it comes to co- raising your daughter. Be the good example for your kid and let go of the rest, that is all you really need to do.

Answer 6

Dude, your relationship with her is TOAST!! Let it die, advise her to do the same. Yeah, for the sake of your daughter, give her a healthy example, the games her mother is playing are certainly not a model for your daughter's life.


good Luck....move on..to hell with friendship

Answer 7

Your not together keep it that way what she did was wrong. You may never get the answers you want from her. At this point it doesn't even matter any more you don't have to be her friend. Just be civil for your child's sake.

Answer 8

Thats a tough one bro, me as a husband or in your case an ex, I would think about my children first and what is best for them, put your feelings second and your daughters first, see what she wants. You probably will figure out what you need to do.

Answer 9

I think she sounds very manipulative. Also to through out a cliche:it sounds like she wants to have her cake and eat it too. It's always good for the kids when Mom and Dad can be civil but that's about all she should expect from you. Please try to move on.

Answer 10

i don't quite understand why she called u, she is just playing with your emotions, if she isn't done with this man than there is no reason to even bother being friends or anything. it would be way to painful to even consider friendship with her, maybe it never will happen. she knows she was wrong, but still refuses to do anything to change it.