What would you do?

Question

My husband and I have been married for eight years. The last couple of years have been hell on wheels. We have been through infidelty and physical fighting, we argue just about every other day. Recently, my husband was snooping in on a phone conversation between me and my girlfriend and apparently he did not like what he heard. He accused me of cheating and after a heated argument he asked for a divorce. I left the house and returned the next day. But, I met someone knew. Who is very nice. But, now my husband has been nice to me as well and has not mentioned anything about what happened before Valentines Day. I just don't know if I should bring it up about what he asked and let this other guy go. Or kick my husband to the curb. If you were me what should I do. P.S. I am not seeing the other guy. I just had a conversation with him over a friends house which is what me and my friend was talking about over the phone. What would you do?

Answer 1

It sounds to me like you have already decided to leave him. Otherwise there would never have been infidelity to begin with. It sounds like neither of you are happy so why not get out while you have the rest of your lives to be happy. Just because he is being nice now doesn't mean he will stay that way. Maybe both of you are in a comfort zone and that is why both of you stay. I am not saying divorce is the answer but take a long hard look at your current situation. If you are really unhappy then it isn't worth staying. Good luck.

Answer 2

With the infidelity and physical fighting, there may be too much water under the bridge. I think at this point I would let go of the relationship.
Your husband is snooping and accusing you of cheating so he doesn't trust you. He's throwing out the word "divorce" like it's not big deal. If it was, he'd talk about it when he came home.
I'd be gone. I'd work on myself and if I was contributing to the physical abuse I would get some counseling to see how to get past it. Good luck.

Answer 3

You should try to work things out first. But it sounds like you already have a plan B. Tell the other guy to back off a little for you to see if you can work things out. You are just getting some needed attention from the new guy . Don't let him take advantage of your bad situation at home. If the new guy is willing to wait, them call him once in awhile just to see how he's doing. Don't burn your bridges yet with the new guy.
Sometimes the one accusing their mate of cheating is the one cheating. I know personally you just have to cut your losses and move on.

Answer 4

Try to work your marriage out first. Number one, unless you have given him reason to think you are cheating he should have believed what you said. Number two, he shouldn't haven been eavesdropping on your phone call. Number three, he should not have jumped to conclusions and asked for a divorce just like that. I would suggest going to counseling to deal with the infidelity and physical fighting issue.

Answer 5

i would see how things go with my husband over the next several weeks before i make any decisions. you obviously love your husband, if you didn't you would have already left. if things continue in the downward spiral then i would talk to him about everything and tell him that you feel it is time to part ways, hopefully as friends but if not it would be understandable.

Answer 6

it sounds to me like your husband had something to be concerned about. if you are considering leaving him for this guy that you aren't even going out with then it is something about to be serious. if you never met this guy, would you be considering leaving your husband? that is the question to ask, along with how long you think this guy is going to stick around after all the messiness of divorce with your husband.

Answer 7

Well, who was the cheater and who was the one that was physically fighting?
A good marriage is based upon honesty and communication, and what you need to do is be honest with him.
If you can't be honest with him, why be with him at all?