Husband has a money spending problem?

Question

my hubby had to sell his car and he got 3300 back for his car. He told me that he was opening a saving for the baby and since he said that i've been finding receipts from the ATM machine with 60 to 80 dollars on it. I keep telling him to save his money.. Y isnt he listening? he bought 80 dollar pants with a shirt. Then he asked if i wanted something. i didnt but he got me something anyways.We dont have a joint account or anything,but he is always coming back to me "can you give me some gas money?" were supposedly trying to save but he keeps buying stuff that we dont need!! and its making me mad! how do i come to him without making him mad about his spending???do i have a right to be mad or am i over reacting?

Answer 1

First off he doesn't need "serious counseling"...but I think that marriage counseling may be helpful.
This is more an issue of the two of you having different ideas about money and saving. My wife and I had the same problem for a while. What we did was go to a financial class at our church, and since we have been a lot better. I still tend to spend more money than she does but we are at least trying to have a budget every month, and that helps both of us control our spending. The other thing that I have always done is, since I know I spend more money than she does, set aside a little money each paycheck that is mine to spend. The rest goes into our joint account and we pay bills, gas, eating out and all family related expenses. The class we took was Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University, it was very enlightening and helped both of us a lot.

Answer 2

You are still independent because you are allowed to spend your money the way that you want to. That being said though did YOU not help HIM while he was a student? Did you not make sure that he had a roof over his head because you were in the military? Medical? Access to the base/post? All things that YOU provided for him. So now HE is able to do the same thing for you and it is hard but you do have to allow it to happen. It doesn't mean that you do have to go out and spend all his money, but you do need to give a little on what you are doing, come to a compromise. There is nothing wrong with getting your nails/hair done every 6 weeks instead of every month; buying clothes but they are on sale not full price; go out for meals when you can but not as often; and the list continues. Don't spend your money on groceries and bills but how about spending on it on something else that you enjoy doing like taking a class? Doing volunteer work? There are options out there. You might want to speak to a counselor about this for yourself as an individual but also as a couple because obviously he has some problems with you not doing it.

Answer 3

He probably will not change. My husband was the same way and this brought many problems in our relationship. We are separated now because of it. If you don't mind him doing what he does with his money love him the way he is and accept it. If you don't like it you are going to have to decide if your love is strong enough to take that from him. I had asked my husband to also save for the baby but he didn't really get it either. I decided to leave him and I don't regret it. Now I am with someone I love and that understands how important it is to manage money smartly. This helps marriage stay stronger.
Think of what YOU want. Good Luck!

Answer 4

It's his money to do with what he wants to obviously since you do not have a joint account. If he asks you for gas money say no.

My honest advice to you is marriage counseling for your differeing financial goals.

Answer 5

He needs some serious counseling. Take him the local homeless shelter and give him some shock treatment.

Answer 6

YOU NEED TO HAVE HIS, HERS AND OURS ACCTS. HE CAN CHOOSE TO SPEND HIS MONEY ANY WAY HE WANTS. THE "OURS" ACCT HAS TO PAY THE BILLS, THE "HERS" ACCOUNT IS YOURS TO SPEND.

Answer 7

No how you feel, just have to press on & do what you have to do.