my photo is on uglynet under uglywoman my friends and family say im attractive i think im very ugly even?

Question

disfigured some how can you give me any tips on how to look better i have been saving up for plastic surgery for a long time through past hurtful name calling from many people such as freak show bride of frankenstein and ugly form many people that i have lost count so now i want to counter act all them horrible people and i want to be beautiful gorgeous stunning please sensible answers only as i nearly ended my life due to my poor facial appearance i just dont know who i am any more it is like i have lost my identity tag i really think i deformed facialy wise somehow such as the elephant man joseph merrick god bless him please help me if you can i have locked my self away from the world as i think im too hideous to go outside and i have become reclusive because of it and have panic atttacks and chronic asthma because of this i do see a cpn from when i had my nervous breakdown and she treies to help to thanks for any advice beforehand

Answer 1

you think you're ugly yet you call yourself flower?? lol.i think your telling fibs
i think im ugly too check www.myspace.com/sarahlousthelens

Answer 2

I think you should show this question to your CPN- are you giving them a clear picture of how you feel? Getting the most out of your sessions with them will help you more in the long term than asking this question on a forum like this but that will need you to be upfront with them.

I say this because from what you say it seems like this has been going on a while. I've looked at your photo and you're not an ugly person- but you know that website is about rejecting our obsession with beauty and perfection, which makes me wonder why you've put your picture on it. Feeling attractive isn't about staring at yourself til you like what you see, or a magic number of people telling you you're attractive, it's about knowing that whatever shape face/eye colour/nose you have that that's what you have. We all look different and we all find different people, ie different faces and bodies attractive, so there is no set version of attractiveness. If you don't see yourself as attractive it doesn't matter how many people tell you you are- the point is you have to think it yourself.

You will feel you are attractive once you start to like yourself, and that comes from within, and when you manage to catch that, you will like what's on the outside, and what I've said in my last paragraph will make sense to you then. Every time you ask the question 'am i attractive/am i ugly?' you're creating an anxious situation for yourself, which is unnecessary and unhelpful. In the meantime, focus on your self-esteem, self-confidence and self-image by making sure you put all your energy into your time with your CPN. It may be that there are other treatments and therapies open to you but this is best way forward for you, not tormenting yourself by constantly asking yourself and others this question.

Answer 3

Ask your CPN to help you access courses to build self-confidence. This will help you get out into the community and build a network of friends. Try to get some routine in your day by taking part in group activities. Your CPN can help with this too. I don't know you but you seem to have a negative self image. You can get help to overcome this. Most of all, be honest with your CPN and don't be afraid to ask for help. I see nothing wrong with your picture. You have pretty features, especially your eyes and mouth. Don't have your picture on sites like that though. Everytime some idiot tells you that you are ugly, it reinforces what you are telling yourself and that isn't healthy. It also isn't true. The only ugly thing about this situation is the distress that it has caused you. I hope God gives you all the assistance you need to get past these feelings and wish you all the best. Onwards and upwards girl! xxx

Feel free to IM or email me

Answer 4

Oh dear... where do I start??

Firstly, I don't think anyone (except the really vain people amongst us) is really happy with how they look. The media these days are partly at fault - they use airbrushed images, use wafer-thin models and fawn over stars who've had cosmetic surgery galore. We'd all prefer to look a bit better, but there's more to a person than their looks.

It's a cliche, but beauty comes from the inside. How you conduct yourself, your deportment, and how you interact with others is far more important. Physical beauty fades, but inner beauty lives forever.

I would suggest you seek some counselling or therapy. You need self-confidence in yourself rather than plastic surgery. (Plastic surgery has dangers all of its own.) Or how about going to a beautician and getting some make-up tips or a new hairstyle? I'm not saying that you've gone wrong on either the make-up or the hair, but sometimes it takes someone else to spot the best styles and ways of doing things for you.

I took a look at your picture, and despite what you may think about yourself, I think you're rather nice! But the lack of self-confidence shows. I bet if you smiled from the heart, you'd look even prettier.

Don't hide yourself away from the world. You're not ugly. You're not even bad enough to be described as plain. You're a good looking woman, who just needs to believe in herself more, to ignore the nasty people who seek to undermine your self-confidence, and to enhance what you already have.

And surgery is NOT the way to do that.

Answer 5

I'm really sorry that you feel so badly about yourself. first of all you need to ignore (even though it can be hard) what people say. they are the ones who are hideous if they think they can treat someone with such little respect.they probably also suffer issues with self confidence and use you as an outlet for that anxiety. i think that first of all you need to gain some more self belief and dont let these horrible people shut you away from the world. you need the support of people that care about you and then if you really feel that plastic surgery will improve your confidence then go for it.

BUT PLEASE ONLY DO IT FOR YOURSELF AND NOT TO PLEASE OR PROOVE A POINT TO OTHER PEOPLE. THERE NOT WORTH THE TIME OR EFFORT.

Answer 6

Wow I just seen your photo, I think your stunning,I see nothing wrong with you,but I don't agree with those sort of sites they aren't the best of things to help a persons self-esteem, people who call others names just because they don't stand up to what they believe to be "good looking"are bullies and are very shallow more than likely have hang ups about them self's,your an individual and unique there is only one of you,if others can't except you for who you are then it is their problem these sort of people just aren't worth a jelly bean,it sounds if you have friends and family who love you very much there are many people who don't have that please talk with someone close to you and you can trust.

I wish all the best of luck.

Answer 7

If you honestly thought you were that ugly surley you wouldnt want your picture on the internet for every one to see!! Your obviously just after compliements!You certinaly are not ugly but you clearly need a lot of reasurance and feel the need to constantly ask peoples opinion on your appearence!I suggest you work on your self asteem and find other ways to feel good about your self other than needing compliments from other people x

Answer 8

figure out who you are in your own personal sense...then you'll be able to combat how you wanna be. Once you have the self confidence you'll have the beauty. There's so many people out there who aren't even all that...but most people just don't care. Don't end your life just bcos of the way you look bcos im sure you have a wionderful personality and that tops everything off.

Answer 9

I too was bullied for many years because of my appearance and many other things, but I kept telling myself that I had to love myself before anyone would love me, and it worked. I feel more beautiful by changin things in my life, changing jobs which boosted my confidence etc. Even if you went ahead and had surgery, you will still be you, just with loads more debt. And things go wrong with surgery, you really need to think about the pros and cons of plastic surgery. Your friends and family are right, you are beautiful inside and out, but you need to start believing it yourself before you see it.

Answer 10

Hey
cheer up everyone thinks there ugly (insecure about there looks) even if they dont admit it ,they do its one of our human emtions to doubt ourselves but dont worry why should you care what other people think..your you,and no one else can change that, and why would they you sound like a beautiful person,I think you should go outside right now and go to the shops by a choclate bar and hold your head high

Answer 11

You are very much like all of us .. we all fear being judged negatively ...
i think you should take some time about thinking about what you like in other people ... do you only like men for there looks ? is that all you see ? Do you always judge the people you know primarily by their looks ? how important is it to you that your friends and people you feel atracted to are good looking ?

The truth is ... people like allsorts of things about people they interact with .. some people DO like looks , so people would quite happily step over a person with model looks for a person with a sense of humour and personable charm who could hold a conversation for more than 2 minutes ..

dont listen to people who are narrow minded enough whos only way of judging the world is from what they see ..

they are not worth it