Give Me Some Feedback...Good/Bad
Drama.
Set: On a bench.
In the middle of a park right in front of a merry-go-round.
A Husband and Wife sitting calmly. They're Having some rough times.
PLAYING SCARED
The other day i was walking by here and something caught
my eye . I found the answer that i've been searching for...
(pause)
You see those kids on the merry-go-round
(she points to the ride in front of them)
After pushing it to full speed they jump on, grasp the bars
and hold on for dear life
Screaming...while gravity tries to pull them apart.
They laugh and smile...
But along with those smiles comes the thought that enters every kids mind atleast once.
Even for just a moment.
The moment where they realize that they could fall off.
(crying)
so some choose to fill up with fear.
This is that ride.
We are those kids.
I could smile forever,
But something tells me you are more than ready to fall off.
Tell me If im still on that ride who will catch you when you fall
2007-02-14 09:44:32 · 11 answers · asked by AllOfTheAbove 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Theater & Acting
It's nice - poetic. You should name your character, though. Is she talking to her husband?
I think you could let the character reveal more of herself - what's making her feel like she's on a merry-go-round and why she is choosing this moment to articulate her fear.
Good work.
2007-02-14 09:50:33 · answer #1 · answered by kaligirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a million minute's a touch little even as. i understand...why do no longer you double-function an argument between an emo and a ditzy blonde? in elementary words use gown props that you'd be in a position to modify round at the moment to regulate between both characters. that should be humorous.
2016-11-03 11:22:13 · answer #2 · answered by santolucito 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a simple Bravo wont do without the curtain call
keep writing I'd like to see more
2007-02-14 10:27:51 · answer #3 · answered by b17_4_life 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HA man, the "answers" people give just crack me up, there are some funny people out there.
I liked it, cute, maybe you should write commercials :)
2007-02-14 09:55:18 · answer #4 · answered by Ms Z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not bad. Kept my interest all the way through. Nice watchamacallit - simile? metaphor?
2007-02-14 09:48:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have real talent, just flesh it out a little more. Good job!
2007-02-14 10:57:02 · answer #6 · answered by Braddock52 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gravity? I think you mean centrifugal force.
2007-02-14 09:53:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was really good! Wish I could see you enact it too!!
2007-02-14 09:53:40 · answer #8 · answered by Ken 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hhmmmm not bad i read it all the way through
2007-02-14 09:55:15 · answer #9 · answered by BROWNLYN 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmmm....interesting. now try it with a sea saw
2007-02-14 09:48:42 · answer #10 · answered by kp 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋