I found out my husband was talking on line with one of my best friend,?

Question

I found out my husband was talking on line with one of my best friend, and they were trying to talk about sex, he said he was totally drunk when I caught them. Now he wants me to forgive him, give him the last chance, should I forgive him? should I let him win my trust back?

Answer 1

See how much trust there can be when you start talking sex with HIS best friend. Mmhmm. Thought not.

I'd not let him get away with that nonsense!

Answer 2

This is something that you need to reach inside yourself for. There is no such thing as innocent online chat if they are talking sex. This is 2 people who know each other in person, it leads to an enormous possibility that it is not limited to this one incident.

If you look back at your relationship with these 2 and can not think of a situation that now leaves you going, OHHHHHHH. Then you are probably ok. If you can't think of any other time that you have to question their behavior, I would definately sit them both down and say, "hey, we all know that this is a HUGE thing in our relationships. I am not comfortable with the behavior, and I want to believe that I can trust you both, BUT, right now I just don't" lay down the rules, let them know that if you suspect something, you WILL ask about it, and if they can't give you a straight answer, you have no choice.

If however, you look back on recent interactions with the 3 of you and you are going, "You know what this incident explains alot", then sat them down - together, ask them your questions. INTEROGATE them, make them feel uncomfortable and squirmy if it is necessary, get the answers you need. If you are satisfied then that it was a one time incident, then forgive, pay attention and try to pick up and move on. If you start to not trust their answers, or to believe that this was only a one time incident that they got caught, you may have some serious problems.

Only you know what your husband's strengths and weaknesses. This is something that you will have to really dig deep and think on. You probably ought to pray long and hard on this one. And being drunk makes for a poor excuse, not a good reason.

Good Luck

Answer 3

Yes, out of line. I don't think you imagined his hands in your crotch. You just need to to put your foot down where he's concerned. Find someone else to fix your car. Whether you continue your friendship with these people it up to you. However, if you do decide to continue a friendship.. I advise you never be alone with him. You are busy if he wants to stop by alone. Telling the wife will end your friendship and make the work environment hostile. Wives do side with the husband but not in the way you'd think. Oh.. he'll get an earful of it for sure, but she'd see you as the threat to the marriage regardless if it were the husband's fault or not. And the wife knows far more about the situation than you'd probably believe. She knows how he acts around you. She knows he is attracted to you. She's not stupid. She might be in a denial or have trust that nothing would come of it, but the line crossed no matter who is at fault and your friendship with her is over.

Answer 4

I understand you situation, and quiet honest, I was the cheater, and when I readed this , is like see me again , because It happend like your case, in my case well my wife simple she gone, It past all ready 2yrs , we still married, but she don't want to forgive me, I'm still hoping to get back, Only God can make the miracle, any way , before you do anything, try to talk, find help for you and you husband, don't give a chance to him, give a chance to each other, the opportunity is for both, don't get the angry take a part your married, give God a chance to save your relationship, and have a comitment from your husband and you, save and give yourself and your husband a opportunity

Answer 5

I think you should let him win your trust back. To know a man that really respects you is to TEST HIM. although he's your husband, he knows what his duties are. If you forgive him this one time, what happens if he does it again? You need to put your foot down to him & let him know you won't tolerate it when he's done some dirt. If he wants to stay married to you, then you need to let him know that you deserve respect & love. If he's going to act like a pervert then he needs to leave you alone & find himself another wife who he can treat like a whore. Also, GET RID OF YOUR BEST FRIEND. she's not a friend nor describe as "best" if she's talking sex with your husband.

Answer 6

something this small is not worth ruining a marriage over. HOWEVER, your *friend* needs to have a sit down heart to heart. If your man got a lil too loose in the lips with her...you can forgive him. He's a man and what man doesn't want to picture his wife and her best friend? I'm not trying to be sick, just understanding. Now your best friend? Well she has ulterior motives and she needs to be smacked down, if not literally at least figuratively.

Answer 7

NO dont give him a second chance.. once a player always a player.. seriously.. i have been drunk, but i would never do something like that to my husband...it will always be in the back of your mind that this happened.. and with your BEST FRIEND.. i waould smack her around a little too..

Answer 8

Ok his excuse was that he was drunk, what was your friends excuse? With friends like these who needs enemies! We all mess up, give him a chance but let him know that he is on probation. As for that friend, I question her motives and I would keep her at arms length and be very careful with her. If she calls herself your friend I seriously doubt that she is.

Answer 9

Keep an eye on him and take away his computer. SOunds like you need a new best friend too.

Answer 10

I wouldn't trust...if he cheats once who's to say he'll not cheat again?
Get help or marriage counseling, and don't you ever talk to your friend.
She's not a real friend to do these sort of things behind your back.