My friend separated from her husband and filed for divorce. We fell in love, which was the first time that I have been in love in all my years of dating. I have loved and have been love separately, but I have never really experienced mutual love before. The separation was very tough on my friend and it led to depression. Unavoidably, I have been out of the country while she went through these difficult times. I am still away and have just discovered from her that her heart is very sick, and that medical treatment would be very costly. She is in a joint medical insurance with her husband, which she will lose if the divorce is finalized. She is left with no other option than to call off the divorce. This has been very devastating news for me. Can you please suggest best ways of coping with this situation.
2007-02-14 09:07:59 · 11 answers · asked by Ramoo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I agree w/DrRJP. Divorce is devastating. If you love someone, you should never hope they have to go through a divorce. The best way for you personally to cope is to look inside yourself. Quotes like "the first time that I have been in love in all my years of dating" and "I have never really experienced mutual love before" make it sound like you have relational issues? You say you have never really been in love mutually until this friend, who is essentially unavailable. Also, you have been out of the country, so the relationship could not have been all that intimate, but it did give you a chance at a "safe" romance. Your friend probably just needed someone close to confide in and you took advantage of that. Now you are "devastated", giving yourself yet another reason you will never truly be able to find love. Very tragic.
Hint: Love is not selfish.
2007-02-14 10:15:09 · answer #1 · answered by Michelle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Expensive Ava, I anticipate that that is the same man that you just mentioned a whilst ago. He is unhealthy news. You will have had a most ambivalent relationship with this man. Within the closing, you're usually questioning when you have made the right choice. You did right. Once a liar, consistently a liar. This relationship was once doomed from the . The entire incorrect factors had been concerned to condemn it to failure. Regardless of that you tried to make it work. It was once sort of like making a dog paddle backwards in water. Wisdom have to succeed at the moment. Repeatedly love holds on but regularly love lets go. Love him adequate to let go on account that I handiest see harm in each your futures. This will likely damage but inform youself that you just made the clever selection. Sooner or later remind your self that you just can not build a relationship with another character's mate and you can't find happiness in case you are leaving the desertted partner in unhappiness. You are not able to be blessed for hurting another. So inform your self that this used to be the wrong expertise and be shrewd. Love does not hurt others at the same time making yourself blissful. These blissful recollections damage a partner and two kids for the remainder of their existence. Cry over this very similar to you can cry over a demise and then move on. There is nothing more to see right here.
2016-08-10 15:59:50 · answer #2 · answered by calvani 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is the real reason for your pain? Can their unreconciled difference be changed? This is the BIG risk you take when you get involve with someone who is still married.
The "mutual" love is not lost. She call off the divorce so that she can get medical treatment. Relax, she is doing the right thing. Getting help for her illness is her first priority. Wait, only time will tell what is going to happen. Be there for her, she needs your support.
Hope this help Good Luck.
2007-02-14 10:20:03 · answer #3 · answered by . 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it, but falling in love with a married person, even one who has filed for divorce is a bad situation and should never have happened in the first place. Even if she could break clean and had no health problems, the chances for the two of you having a successful relationship are slim. I'm not even raising the issue of whether it is right or wrong...just the reality.
I know that this doesn't ease your pain, but you have to understand that it will be the best for everyone concerned. I'm sure you've heard about the downsides of "rebound relationships." This is one of them.
2007-02-14 09:17:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
First, being devastated because the divorce was cancelled and you can't be with him, is being VERY selfish.
Your FRIEND is going through a bad divorce, and on top of that she is ailing.
You're not a true friend if you think about that guy first.
You knew her before you knew him.
How would you feel if you were in her position , and your friend was worrying more about her relationship than your health?
2007-02-14 09:18:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WoW this is hard...the only thing i can say is give her time and don't let go of her if u guys really love each other
2007-02-14 09:14:02 · answer #6 · answered by lovelycallgirl6 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you believe in prayer, that's what I think you should do.
I feell so bad for you, but if it is meant to be then it will happen. Be patient and have faith.
2007-02-14 09:11:59 · answer #7 · answered by Ellyn 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't date someone that is seperated.
2007-02-14 09:12:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
love her while you got her
2007-02-14 09:15:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
marry her or at least adopt her and get her on your insurance.... FOOL
2007-02-14 09:11:48 · answer #10 · answered by Arthur Richards of Kent 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋